Will and Guy's Funny Clean Jokes, Short Stories and Amusing Pictures
'Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.'
Victor Borge
This site is built for enjoyment. We had great fun both in
gathering the humour from numerous sources, and in arranging it an
entertaining format. We have divide the site into these five broad
sections:
Daniel and Jessica, young couple, got married and went happily on their
honeymoon. When they got back, Jessica immediately 'phoned her mother and
her mother obviously asked, 'How was the honeymoon, dearest?'
'Oh, Ma,' she replied, 'the honeymoon was wonderful. So romantic...'
Then Jessica
burst out crying. 'But, Ma, as soon as we returned home Daniel started using
the most ghastly language... saying things I've never heard before! I mean,
all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me
home.... Please Ma.'
'Calm down, Jessica!,' said her mother, 'Tell me, what could be so
awful? What 4-letter words?' Still sobbing, Jessica whispered, 'Oh,
Ma...words like dust, wash, cook, and iron.'
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Funny One-liners
These are only a tiny fraction of our material. Which varies not
only in subject matter but also joke telling style. In a nutshell, we
have a 'funny' for every occasion.
Will and Guy interpret funny pictures as any images that we find
interesting, or thought-provoking. Will and Guy forgot to mention
earlier that we have nothing to sell, thus we are free to include anything
we just plain enjoy, and hope that you find something enjoyable in each
section.
Will and Guy love a good yarn; here is our collection of stories that
bring a wry smile at the surreal setting, unexpected connection, or
memorable punch line. One of our favourite games-within-a-game, is to
modify old jokes to different settings.
Here are jokes, funny stories and interesting articles covering events
throughout the year. We have whole sections covering the major
festivals, and single pages for the more specialized saints' days and zany
anniversaries.
Will and Guy really believe that we have discovered the secret of a successful joke site - variety. With normal
joke sites and joke books, you get loads of pages all with the same theme. The result is you soon get bored. However, with our site you never know what type of joke, picture or story will follow next, thus you get
a
constant drip feed of fresh nuggets that will keep a smile on your face.
Examples of Will and Guy's Clean
Jokes and Funny Stories
Schoolboy Howlers - A Rich Source of Jokes
Solomon had three hundred
wives and seven hundred porcupines
Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients.
Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten
commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like
grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
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Funny Signs and Notices
SIGN IN A LAUNDROMAT:
Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
IN AN OFFICE:
After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board
Whacked
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the
deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Until that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
Tales from Travel Agents
Fastest Jet in America An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am
and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she
bought that!
Another good source of humour is newspaper small ads
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
How Will and Guy's Joke Site Evolved
Will Baker does most of the research in unearthing the humour featured on this site. What pleases Will and I most, is that more and more people are beginning to
contribute with jokes and funny
stories. We hope that you will keep returning to the site as the material is growing rapidly. Our mission is to provide a wealth, of
clean yet funny jokes. We are also committed to keeping this a free site for jokes.
It gives Will and I particular pleasure to thank Hannah, Sally and Jenny for
their jokes, stories and funny pictures. Other individual contributions are
acknowledged on the appropriate page. There are other websites like
BuzzerBeat that provide highlights from
the world of sports.
Suitability of Funny Jokes
Before I go any further, I would like to say a word about the suitability of these
jokes for viewing. In my opinion, there is nothing in the
content that is unsuitable viewing. My only concern about the content is, will you get the joke, not about the nature of the material. Our goal is to record and relay humour without descending into
the crude or the gratuitous insult. I will let you into a secret, before publishing a page I apply the litmus test: 'Would my Aunt approve of this joke?'
Lastly, I would like to say again that Will has been the inspiration and has done all the hard work finding the funny jokes, I just load the pages up to the website. As the site is about English humour, I have decided to use the English spelling, rather than the American humor. That said, I hope that much of the humor
or humour works in any culture. Naturally, sometimes we have changed the
names of people to protect the guilty.
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