I am as vigilant as a cat to steal cream. William
Shakespeare, Henry IV
"All right", said the Cat, and this time it vanished quite slowly,
beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which
remained some time after the rest of it had gone. Lewis
Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
So much time, so little to do... Garfield The Movie (2004)
'I hate Mondays.' Garfield The Movie (2004)
Love me, feed me, never leave me. Garfield The Movie
Cats' hearing apparatus is built to allow the human voice to easily
go in one ear and out the other. Stephen Baker
The mathematical probability of a common cat doing exactly as it
pleases is the one scientific absolute in the world. Lynn M.
Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one
of them is making a poop, the other's carrying it for him, who would you
assume is in charge? Jerry Seinfeld
The noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites
it. Laurence J. Peter. (I like this one says Will).
The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter. T.S. Elliot, "The
Naming of Cats" Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats.
Boo (Boo Boo)
Another Batch of Popular Cat Names
The Naming of Cats
The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter, It isn't just one of your
holiday games; You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter When I
tell you, a cat must have three different names First of all, there's the
name that the family use daily, Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, or George or Bill Bailey - All of them
sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound
sweeter, Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames: Such as Plato,
Admetus, Electra, Demeter - But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular, A name that's
peculiar, and more dignified, Else how can he keep up his tail
perpendicular, Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride? Of
names of this kind, I can give you a quorum, Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo,
or Coricopat, Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum - Names that
never belong to more than one cat. But above and beyond there's still one
name left over, And that is the name that you never will guess; The
name that no human research can discover - But the cat himself knows, and
will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation, The
reason, I tell you, is always the same: His mind is engaged in a rapt
contemplation Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable Effanineffable Deep and inscrutable singular
By T S Elliot
Footnote: Please write to Will and Guy if you have any funny cat
sayings. For example, Simon Mazik sent this:
A Cat in an Empty Apartment by Wislawa Szymborska
Die? One does not do that to a cat. Because what's a cat to do in
an empty apartment? Climb the walls. Caress against the furniture.
It seems that nothing has changed here, but yet things are different.
Nothing appears to have been relocated, yet everything has been shuffled
about. The lamp no longer burns in the evenings.
Footsteps can be heard on the stairway, but they're not the ones.
The hand which puts the fish on the platter is not the same one which
used to do it.
Something here does not begin at its usual time. Something does not
happen quite as it should Here someone was and was, then suddenly
disappeared and now is stubbornly absent.
All the closets were peered into. The shelves were walked through.
The rug was lifted and examined. Even the rule about not scattering
papers was violated.
What more is to be done? Sleep and wait.
Let him return, at least make a token appearance. Then he'll learn
that one shouldn't treat a cat like this. He will be approached as
though unwillingly, slowly, on very offended paws. With no
spontaneous leaps or squeals at first.
Translated by Walter Whipple.
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