Funny Chinese Food Stories

Funny Chinese TakeawayFunny Chinese Food

In Chinese cuisine Will and Guy have come across a famous Cantonese saying which states that "Anything that walks, swims, crawls, or flies with its back to heaven is edible."

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Strange, Extraordinary and Funny Eating Habits in China

It is not surprising that the Chinese have unusual diets.  Here are a few examples of funny Chinese food:

  1. Sparrows are a common food both in the street and as a snack at home.
  2. Banquet specialities include cow's lung soaked in chili sauce, goose stomachs, fish lips with celery, goat's feet tendons in wheat noodles, shark's stomach soup, chicken-feet soup, monkey's head, ox forehead, turtle casserole, pigeon brain, deer ligament and snake venom, also lily bulb.
  3. Some people in China eat dirt as "famine food." See above.
  4. Huangshan Stone Frog is a speciality of the Anhui province.
  5. Thousand-year-old eggs, a Guangdong delicacy, are made from duck eggs coated with lime, ashes and mud and soaked in horse urine for 100 days until the yolks turns green and the whites become gelatinous and dark brown. The Chinese also eat duck eggs that are packed in a pot and buried in the ground.
  6. Interestingly, the Chinese considered many foods eaten by non-Chinese to be strange. They consider eating a plain cooked steak as primitive and unappetizing. Many regard eating cheese or butter as disgusting and find the French custom of eating snails to be strange.

A Funny and Amusing Story from China Funny Chinese Food

Eccentric Chinaman

Li Sanju claims to have survived for two years eating nothing but leaves and grass. The Chinaman from Niuwei village, Guangdong province, says he is perfectly happy with his unusual diet. He informed Will and Guy that he looks no different to other people in his village - but admits he does smell strongly of grass. 'I watched a TV programme which said a man can live more than 10 days without food but just water, so I thought I would try living on the natural things near my home,' he said.

At first, he tried eating grass in a field like cattle - but it tasted bitter and made him ill, we have found, 'I suspect that the field grass has been polluted by pesticides, so I changed to the plants in the mountain behind my house, and I never had any problem,' he added. 'I used to be known as a sick man in the village, always in hospital, but since I changed my diet, I've never been to see the doctors. Even the tumour on my right foot has disappeared.'

The Local Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital said most of the plants were edible and not toxic but he did not recommend Li's diet to us, which is a great relief.

Food Specialities from the Regions of China

  1. Hunan dishes include spicy frogs' legs, tripe and sea cucumbers.
  2. People from Sichuan eat duck intestines, pig brains, frog's thighs, green bean seeds and rabbit ears.
  3. In Qinghai you can find sheep vein, yak vein, caterpillar fungus, a seaweed-like black moss known as "hair grass," and stir-fried camel's foot.
  4. Among the dishes one can find in Harbin are "yellow flower" (chopped lily stalks), grilled bear paw, stewed moose nose with mushrooms, white fungus soup, and monkey-leg mushrooms.
  5. In Manchuria, frog oil taken from frog ovaries is often added to soups and stews served at expensive restaurants.
  6. Yunnan favourites include live goat foetus, caterpillar fungus, three-year cured ham, fried goat cheese, and deep fried bee larvae.
  7. Delicacies from Hubei Province include snake meat, venison from spotted deer, soft-shell turtle and crocodile claw.
  8. Cobra-bile wine is consumed in Canton.
  9. People in Beijing like ant soup.
  10. Dog, known as "fragrant meat," has long been a popular food in northeast and southern China and in recent years has become popular in other places

Chinese Restaurants are Always Good for a Laugh

Funny Chinese Drive In

How much does a Chinese restaurant weigh? ............ Won Ton

Insects, Rats, Turtles and Snakes as Food in China

...(videVfl2)
  1. Bee larvae is served in some restaurants.
  2. While in some places Chinese still eat cicadas, crickets, giant water beetles, stinkbugs, silk worms, cockroaches and fly maggots. People that eat these things tend to be poor and have no other sources of protein.
    In some places Chinese eat live scorpions doused in baijiu, a potent Chinese liquor.
  3. Giant water bugs are boiled and soaked in vinegar. Their shells are cracked open like the shells of crabs and the flesh inside is eaten.
  4. The scorpions sold on the streets in Beijing are grabbed live by the sales people, dipped in boiling oil for second and skewered on a stick.
  5. Grasshoppers are widely eaten in China and other places around the world. Insects are rich in protein and are a far greener way to get protein than eating chicken, cows and pigs, which produce greenhouse gases and consume much of the world's grain.
  6. People in some parts of China are fond of eating rats. This custom has been around a long time. Chinese in the Zhou dynasty who ate rats, calling them "household deer."
  7. Turtles have long been associated with longevity and health. Widely consumed in soups and stews, the Chinese believe they provide lots of nutrition and replenish energy.
  8. Snake meat is often referred to as dragon meat on the menu. Many of the snakes served at Chinese restaurants come from the Snake Repository in Wuzhou, Guangxi Province, where more than one million snakes are raised each year.

Footnote:
We have had a laugh at some funny Chinese foods, but Will and Guy wonder what the Chinese think of 'Western' foods?

Funny Chinese Food One-liners

  1. English mothers feed their babies with tiny spoons!
    Chinese mothers use toothpicks!
  2. Man with one chopstick go hungry.
  3. Man become old when he watch food instead of waitress. 
  4. Man who dream of eating giant mushroom -
    Wake up with no pillow.

The Story of Chen and The CakesFunny Chinese Cake Jokes

Chen was extremely hungry, so he left work and went to a local snack bar where he bought a cake.  When Chen had eaten the cake, he found that he was still famished, and so he ate a second one.

Even then he was not full up and promptly ate six cakes in succession, but he hadn't satisfied his hunger.  Not until Chen had eaten the seventh cake did he feel satisfied.

Then, suddenly, he had a feeling of regret. 'Ah, if I had known this before, I would have eaten the seventh cake first and that would have been enough and there would not have been any need to eat those six others.'

Huang Fu and the Bottle of Wine Parable

Huang Fu was a very rich man who was deliberately tough on his farmhand, Hop. Huang Fu gave Hop a bottle and said, 'Buy me a bottle of wine.'

Hop, the poor farmhand enquired, 'How can I buy you wine with no money at all?'
Huang Fu replied disdainfully, 'Anyone can buy wine with money. It takes real skill to buy wine without money.'

Time elapsed and Hop eventually returned farmhand returned with the empty bottle. He handed the bottle to Huang Fu and murmured, 'Enjoy the wine, please.'

Staring at the empty bottle with some dismay, Huang asked, 'There is no wine, how can I enjoy this?'

Hop replied to Huang Fu, with a straight face, 'Anyone can enjoy wine if there is some.  It takes real skill to enjoy wine when there is none.'

Huang Fu made a choking sound but was unable to utter a word.

Chinese Humour, Parables and Tall Stories

10 of the Best Chinese Proverbs

  1. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
  2. A life with love is happy; a life for love is foolish.
  3. War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
  4. A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.
  5. Three humble shoemakers brainstorming make a great statesman.
  6. Visiting monks give better sermons.
  7. He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
  8. An ambitious horse will never return to its old stable.
  9. A conversation with a wise person is worth of ten years' study of books.
  10. Chinese 'Cracked Pot' Parable
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More Funny Chinese Food Stories

It's a Dog's LifeFunny Chinese Takeaway

One evening, Bill and Jackson's wives decided to dine out a new Chinese Restaurant.  Jackson's wife Julie was inseparable from her Pekingese dog called 'Pepe'.  So Took took Pepe along with them to the restaurant.   Whenever they went to their usual restaurant the manager's wife looked after Pepe while they ate, and they thought it would be no different this new restaurant.

Julie and her friend Rachel, gave Pepe to the owner and went to their seats.  They ordered their meal, had a few drinks and eventually their meal arrived.  They were mortified when it turned out to be their beloved Pepe surrounded by Chop Suey.

As the owner explained the next day to Bill and Jackson, they thought that Julie and Rachel wanted the chef to cook the dog, not look after it while the women dined.

Follow-up

In 2010 China are proposing a new law to ban eating dog meat.  Despite being an ancient custom eating 'fragrant meat', as dog meat is euphemistically know, to be punished by a fine of up to 5,000 yuan (£450) and 15 days in jail.

From serving it with turtle to stewing it with snake, China has savoured the delights of dog and cat meat for thousands of years. But now, the country known for its experimental culinary traditions could be about to end a centuries-old custom and remove both animals from the menu.

As part of a drive against animal abuse parliament, will consider the bill at the National People's Congress, in April 2010.  Those defending eating dog meat point to its value in Chinese medicine for kidney complaints.  Fragrant meat is not universally liked in China, and its stronghold is in Jaingsu province in the south east of the country.

Funny Chinese StoryFunny Chinese New Year Jokes

Arresting Barbeque in ChinaArresting Barbeque in China

An escaped convict has been recaptured at a party organised at the local police station. Police in Xinzhu city, Taiwan, invited residents to celebrate the Moon Festival with them.  Officers could not believe their eyes when they saw an escaped drug dealer called Chen, who had just been listed as one of the city's most wanted criminals, at the party.  Police officer Cai Zhengtong, who was in charge of the barbecue, said, 'I saw a man dressed in an eye-catching yellow windbreaker enter the place and sit in the corner. He was enjoying the barbecue with the others.  I really couldn't believe my eyes, since the man was just the criminal we were seeking.'

Police at the party quickly arrested Chen. He told officers he thought it would have been the last place police would have thought of looking for him.

20 Number 6 - Classic Chinese English Joke

It was Chinese New Year.  Bill and Jackson had just staggered back home from a hard night's drinking when they noticed that a menu from the new restaurant next door had come through the letter box.  On a whim they decided to round off the evening with a take-away.  Jackson, was just off out of the door to fetch their meal when Bill turned to him and said, 'Please get me 20 number 6 while you're at the take-away.

Jackson returned with their chicken Chou Mein, sweet and sour pork and 20 portions of egg fried rice.  Bill said, 'Where's me fags'. Jackson said, 'What cigarettes, you asked for 20 number 6 and that's what you've got, enough egg fried rice to feed a Chinese Junk from Shanghai to Hong Kong'.

Bill said, 'When I was last in England Embassy No 6 was a packet of fags.'

Footnote
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