Funny Church Signs

Funny Church Signs

He who sits in the heavens shall laugh. - Psalms 2:4

• Funny Church Signs
• 10 of the Best Witty Church Signs
• Funny Church Notice
• Unusual Church Sign - Toot n Tell or Go to Hell
• Rehearse The Church Service: A True Story
• Amusing, Witty, Jokey and Funny Church Signs from the UK

Funny Church Signs

The internet has captured many strange, hilarious and plain funny signs which are placed outside churches, primarily in the USA.

Here, Will and Guy have selected only a few of the best, cleverest and funniest statements to show as photos; further on you will read our favourite ten ridiculous and witty signs which will make you smile or even laugh.

Fear Not: Salvation is at Hand

 Ten of The Best Witty and Funny Church Signs

1. Notice in a church parking lot.  Trespassers will be baptised.
2. If you can't sleep, don't count sheep.  Talk to the Shepherd.
3. Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.
4. How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-smoking?
5. Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily.
6. No God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace.
7. Free Trip to heaven.  Details Inside!
8. When the restaurant next to a chapel put out a big sign with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the chapel reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."
9. Come work for the Lord.  The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.
10. In the dark? Follow the Son. 

Baptist or Methodist  : Coffee or Chocolate

Churches in America are the most diverse in the world, you even get a choice of refreshment; we have their amusing Church signs.

America's Joyous Future?

There Again, Don't Let Worries Kill You

If you park here, you are liable to be prayed for.  See more funny parking signs.

More Funny Church Notices

Every time I look at this picture of a church sign it makes me think at a different level.

• New Ways The Church Reaches Out to People
• I Look at the Religious Message(s)
• Guilt!

Two Funny Church Signs that Almost got Away

• Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!
• Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.

Who Say's The Church is Out-of-date?

Unusual Church Sign - "Toot'n Tell or Go to Hell"

Father Brian, an elderly Catholic priest, was speaking to Father Karl, a younger priest, saying, 'You had a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theatre seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now.'

Father Karl nods, and the old priest continues, 'And you told me adding a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock 'n' roll gospel choir. Now our services are consistently packed to the rafters.'

'Thank you, Father Brian,' answers the young priest. 'I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth.'

'All of these ideas have been well and good,' comments Father Brian wisely. But I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional.'

'But, Father Brian,' protests the young Father Karl, 'My confessions have nearly doubled since I began that!'

'Indeed,' replies the elderly priest, 'And I appreciate that. But the flashing neon sign, "Toot'n Tell or Go to Hell" cannot stay on the church roof.'

Rehearse The Church Service: A True Story

At a Methodist wedding ceremony at which Father Brian Hamilton was officiating, he was seen to raise his hand in order to give the final blessing at the end of the service.

Louise, the bride, totally misunderstood this gesture and surprised the vicar with a high-five.

Not wanting to exclude Mark, the groom, Father Brian also offered him a high-five.

Father Brian was eventually able to give the blessing, this time with the laughter of the guests ringing in his ears.

Amusing, Witty, Jokey and Funny Church Signs from the UK

Footnote:
Please send us your funny Church signs.

See more clean religious jokes and funny stories:

• Short Christian jokes   • Clean religious jokes   • Funny religious stories   • Funny Church signs

• Christian jokes   • Church Times & Pews News   • Adam jokes   • God and Eve   • Things God won't ask

• Church video   • Christ at Rio   • Funny religious jokes   • Funny Bible jokes   • Hell   • Home

• What are the commandments?   • Children's letters to God   • Children's religious stories