Here is our collection of amusing Easter one-liners, cartoons and funny
yarns. While we chose them for children there are also Easter jokes
that adults will appreciate.
Mrs Lewis, a Sunday school teacher asked her little children one Easter
Sunday, as they were on the way to the church service, 'And why is it
necessary to be quiet in church?'
Rebecca, a bright little girl piped up, 'Because people are sleeping?'
Sunday School 2
It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Bobby stayed
home from church with a baby-sitter. When the family returned home,
they were carrying several palm fronds. Bobby asked them what they were for.
'People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by,' his father told him.
'Wouldn't you know it,' Bobby fumed, 'the one Sunday I don't go and he
shows up.'
The Lion and the Missionary
A Christian missionary, Jemima, was walking in Africa on Easter Saturday
when she heard the ominous padding of a lion behind her.
'Oh Lord,' prayed Jemima, the missionary, 'Grant in Thy goodness that the
lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion.'
And then, in the silence that followed, Jemima heard the lion praying
too, 'Oh Lord,' he prayed, 'I thank Thee for the food which I am about to
receive this Easter time.'
¤
How Different Religions Cope with Adversity
When the Methodist minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up
and says, 'That was an experience, how do I learn from it?'
When the Catholic priest falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and
says, 'I must have done something really bad to deserve that.'
When the Presbyterian minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up
and says, 'That was inevitable, I'm glad it's over.'
When the Baptist minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and
says, 'Which one of my deacons pushed me?'
Angels at Easter
How do angels greet each other at Easter? They say, 'Halo'.
Why did the angel lose her job? She had harp failure.
Classic Easter Joke for Kids
Divine Intervention?
One Easter afternoon Jasper, a little boy, was playing outdoors. He used
his mother's broom as a horse and had a wonderful time until it was getting
dark.
He left the broom on the back porch. His mother was cleaning up the
kitchen when she realized that her broom was missing. She asked Jasper about
the broom and he told her where it was.
She then asked him to please go get it. Jasper informed his mother that
he was afraid of the dark and didn't want to go out to get the broom.
His mother smiled and said, 'The Lord is out there too, don't be afraid.'
Jasper then opened the back door a little and said, 'Lord, since you're
out there, please pass me the broom.'
Church notices: This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs Cusworth to come
forward and lay an egg on the altar.
This Monday we will be holding a 'Bean Supper' in the church hall. Music will
follow..................
What do you call a chocolate bunny that was out in the sun
too long? A runny bunny.
Tumbles the Cat with His Easter Bunny
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Maisie the Cat and Her Friend Easter Chick
Story of the Miracle Easter Bunny
Jimmy came home on the last day of the Easter term, and to his horror he
found his German Shepherd, Rex, with next door neighbours bunny rabbit in
its mouth. The rabbit was obviously dead.
Greatly upset, Jimmy panicked thinking, 'If my neighbours find out that
Rex killed their bunny, they'll hate me forever.' Jimmy quickly took the
rather large bunny, and, placing it in a paper bag deposited in the local
incinerator tip. On his way home, Jimmy looked into Pets 'R Us and bought a
rabbit which he gauged was just like the deceased. Back home, Jimmy took the
'new' rabbit and placed it in the open hutch in his neighbours garden.
Later that evening, Jimmy heard a knock on his front door and opening it
he found his next door neighbours bearing the 'new' rabbit in their arms.
'Look,' squeaked his neighbour, 'Yesterday Billy was dead and we buried
him 4 feet down in the garden. Today we come home and find that not only is
he alive and well but he has grown several more teeth but also he has
shrunk. It's a miracle.'
Story based on a true story about a mouse owned by Will's wife when she
was a child.
Funny Easter One-liners For Kids
Q: Why did the Easter egg hide? A: He was a little chicken!
Q: What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards? A: A receding
hareline.
Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot? A: It's been nice gnawing
at you.
Funny religious Easter jokes may seem like an oxymoron or even a blasphomy,
but Will and Guy believe that you can combine Christianity with humour,
after all, why should the devil have all the best tunes
jokes.
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