Funny Easter Quotes

Funny Easter Quotes

Will and Guy's collection of funny Easter quotes.

• Funny Easter Quotes
• Rules of Chocolate Easter Eggs
• Easter Bunnies
• Easter Egg Hunt

Funny Easter Quotes

"I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines."  Fred Allen

"A strangely reflective, even melancholy day. Is that because, unlike our cousins in the northern hemisphere, Easter is not associated with the energy and vitality of spring but with the more subdued spirit of autumn."  Hugh Mackay

"Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there."  Clarence W. Hall

"My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper."  Amy Sedaris

Chocolate and Easter

"There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with CHOCOLATE."  Linda Grayson, "The Pickwick Papers"

"All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!"  Lucy Van Pelt, "Peanuts"

Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter Sunday.
Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs at Thanksgiving.

Rules of Chocolate Easter Eggs

• If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
• Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
• Diet tip: Eat an Easter egg before each meal.
  It'll take the edge off your appetite, and that way you'll eat less.
• If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
• If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge.  Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
• Money talks. Chocolate sings.
• Chocolate has many preservatives.  Preservatives make you look younger.
• The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate eggs home from the store in a hot car.
  The solution: Eat the eggs in the car park.
• Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
  Because no one wants to quit.

Easter Bunnies

Q: What do you call a bunny with a large brain?
A: An egghead.

Q: Why did the Easter egg hide?
A: He was a little chicken!

Q: What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?
A: A receding hareline.

Q: Why did the magician have to cancel his show?
A: He'd just washed his hare and couldn't do a thing with it.

Q: What do you call a duck who plays basketball?
A: A slam duck.

Q. What do Easter Bunny helpers get for making a basket?
A. Two points, just like anyone else on the team.

Q. What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A. The Ether Bunny

Q: What's the difference between a bunny and a lumberjack?
A: One chews and hops, the other hews and chops.

Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
A: It's been nice gnawing at you.

Q: Why did the rabbit cross the road?
A: Because it was the chicken's day off.

Five Reasons to Celebrate Easter

1. You decide that any Holiday which starts with a "Good Friday" can't be all bad.
2. You look really, really good in yellow.
3. You love to bite the heads off chocolate bunnies.
4. You have this bunny suit you love to wear, but are too insecure to wear it without a reason.
5. You absolutely love the movie, "The Ten Commandments".

Three Signs the Easter Bunny is Nuts

1. The Easter bunny's colourful eggs are now filled with Prozac.
2. Rabbits that marched in a long sweltering Easter parade aren't called hot, cross bunnies for nothing.
3. What does the bunny trying to say when he is leaping about?  Hoppy Easter!

The White House Easter Egg Roll

Since 1878 the White House Easter Egg Roll has taken place on the South Lawn. In 2009 President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama are continuing the Easter tradition, started by President Rutherford B. Hayes.

The theme for 2009 is "Let's Go Play", clearly setting an example for children to more active pursuits.  This is the first year when people can apply for tickets online.  We do hope that President Obama's daughters Malia and Sasha will take part in the White House Easter Egg Roll on April 13th.

Easter Egg Hunt

An Easter Egg hunt is a wonderful game for adults to organize for children.  Years ago it was something that parents did in their downstairs rooms, nowadays it the Easter Egg Hunt has evolved into an outdoor event for the whole neighbourhood.

Organization plus the greater expanse has created more creative opportunities both for the egg hiding places and the clues to locate the chocolate treasure.  If you are the organizer try to make it as fun as possible, the secret is to keep them them moving and keep them guessing.

Easter Bunny Footprints

Another twist for your Easter egg hunt is to use bunny footprints to give the children clues where to look for the eggs.

Memorable Easter Egg Hunt Story

Emma and Tony thought they would give their toddlers a special Easter egg hunt.  Firstly, Emma hit upon the idea of sprinkling talc on the wooden floor, then using the bunny footprints, they created a trail in the talcum powder.

In the lounge Tony not only placed carrots at strategic points, but also gnawed them to look like the rabbits had been there.  One neat touch was to leave a spilt saucer of milk in the kitchen. 

This Easter bunny scene was so realistic that on Easter Sunday morning their children Ken and Lizzy rushed into our bedroom, screaming: 'the Easter bunny has been'.

Over the years the story has been relived and embellished, 20 years on I am not sure who is the more embarrassed the parents, or the now grown-up children.

from Will and Guy

Footnote:
Please send us pictures of your funny Easter quotes 

See more funny Easter bunny pictures and rabbit jokes

• Easter Sunday   • Easter bunny pictures   • Easter bunny stories   • Rabbit story

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