Economic Crisis - U. S.
Treasury released the new US Dollar bill
Will and Guy take an alternative and funny look at the world economic
crisis. We are particularly interested in the new funny money, our
question is how come so much money has been lost without a bank robbery?
Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the
run on Northern Rock and collapse of the Bradford and Bingley in the UK it
is clear that the uncertainty has now hit Japan and Ireland:
Japan In the last seven days Origami Bank has
folded; Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut
some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will
likely go for a song while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended
after they nose-dived.
While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank
is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report
that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that
staff may get a raw deal.
Ireland The Allied Irish Bank has issued a credit
warning about Kellogg's, they are worried about the Harvest Crunch.
Will and Guy will not be eating this type of food for their Christmas
lunch on the 25th December. We find it hard to believe that this product
really does exist - but here it is.
We appreciate that many people will be cutting back this Christmas
because of the economic climate but perhaps the Pot Noeldle is going a step
too far. Its claim is that it's a special version of the student favourite
and at £1.10 GBP [$1.77 USD] it will fit most budgets.
Manufacturer, Unilever said it is a "fusion of turkey and stuffing with
all the trimmings".
Two pence from each sale will go to buy 'phone time for British troops
stationed abroad. Troops taste-tested the new recipe of their favoured home
comfort snack. Squadron Leader Stuart Balfour [Royal Air Force] told us, 'It
will help keep them in touch with loved ones at a really important time of
the year.' For this reason alone Will and Guy applaud the idea.
Scandal
Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.
Oh Great!!
The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the
people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
A lobbyist on his way home from Parliament after a Parliamentary Enquiry
into Trading Practices by Britain's leading Bank Executives is stuck in
traffic. Several of the former Bank Executives and CEO's have agreed to
return their extravagant Pensions.
Noticing a police officer, he winds down his window and asks: "What's the
hold up Officer?" The policeman replies: "The Chief Executive of the U.K.'s
largest Bank has become so depressed he's stopped his motorcade and is
threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire because of
the shame of what he has done."
"Myself and all the other motorcade police officers are taking up a
collection because we feel sorry for him."
The lobbyist asks: "How much have you got so far?"
The Officer replies: "About 40 gallons, but a lot of officers are still
siphoning."
Footnote: Funny Credit Crunch Jokes kindly sent in by
Neville Cresdee
The United States have developed a new weapon that destroys
people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market. -
Jay Leno
The economy is in big trouble. Yesterday in a big speech, President
Bush said the economy was still getting over the hangover from the 90's.
And then, the President admitted, he was still getting over his hangover
from the 80's. Conan O'Brien
'Money talks. Trouble is, mine only knows one word - Goodbye,' says
Guy.
The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate.
If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China
If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs
If we purchase a computer it will go to India
If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras
and Guatemala
If we purchase a good car it will go to Japan
If we purchase something useless it will go to Taiwan........whoops,
sorry............................... and none of it will help the American economy.
The only way to keep that money here at home is to buy beer and
cigarettes, since these are the only products still produced in the USA.
Footnote: Please send us your funny economic
jokes
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