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Funny Thoughts of the Day

Funny Thought of the DayWill and Guy's Funny Thoughts of the Day

Here is source of inspiration for when you want a funny thought of the day.

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Funny Thoughts for the Day

  • Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. Norm Papernick
  • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'Broker'?
  • Why isn't there a mouse flavoured cat food?
  • Why do they call the airport 'the terminal' if flying is so safe?
  • I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet. - Ancient Persian Saying
  • If people from Poland are called 'Poles', why aren't people from Holland called 'Holes?'
  • You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
  • Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?
  • Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
  • Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
  • If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
  • Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
  • Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone Ella Wheeler Wilcox Funny Thought of the Day
  • Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
  • Sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be. - Don Quixote
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Droll Witty Thoughts to Conjure

  • By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day. - Robert Frost
  • If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.
  • Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. Ogden Nash
  • Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact. - George Eliot
  • Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. - Oscar Wilde
  • When you are arguing with a fool, make sure he isn't doing the same thing. - Unknown
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Curious and Whimsical Thoughts

These thoughts of the day are not hilariously funny, but they induced a wry smile on either Will or Guy's face.

  • Men who seek happiness are like drunkards who can never find their house but are sure that they have one. - Voltaire
  • The brain is a wonderful organ.  It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost
  • At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. - Salvador Dali
  • How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six different kinds of cheese? - Charles De Gaulle
  • One camel does not make fun of another camel's hump. Ghanaian Proverb
  • It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane. - June Henderson
  • Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep. - Carl Sandburg

A Collection of Capricious Thoughts About Marriage

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein
a man loses his bachelors degree
and a woman gains her masters

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel
a feeling you have never felt before.

YAWN:
The only time when some married men
ever get to open their mouth.

FATHER:
A banker provided by nature.

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their
Mistakes.

CLASSIC:
A book which people praise,
but never read.

SMILE:
A curve that can set
a lot of things straight!

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The Funny World of the Office

THE OFFICE:
A place where you can relax
after your strenuous home life.

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the
number present.

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens and everybody disagrees later.

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students
without passing through the minds of either

BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late
and late when you are early.

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper
with fire at one end and a fool at the other!   See more on (anti-)smoking

Assorted Drole Thoughts

DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell
in such a way that you actually look forward
to the trip.

POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections
and your confidence later.

MISER:
A person who lives poor so that
he can die RICH!

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Loving Thoughts of the Day

  • Beauty is truth, and truth is beauty - John Keats
  • A thing of beauty is a joy forever: its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness. - John Keats
  • Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. - Henry David Thoreau
  • Never refuse any advance of friendship, for if nine out of ten bring you nothing, one alone may repay you. - Madame de Tencin
  • See more 'Loving Thoughts of the Day'.

 

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