Inglish Jokes and Funny Pictures
Indian English comprises several dialects of English spoken primarily in the Indian subcontinent. These dialects arose during the colonial rule of Britain in India and provide a rich seam of Inglish jokes.
Will and Guy would like to share with our readers some examples of this "type of English speak." We do not do this to poke fun at our Indian friends, although some expressions do bring a smile to our lips.
Devyani; Hey, I wanted to confirm one of my answers. Can you help
Anil: Sure, which one was it?
Devyani: Well, we were supposed to add a suitable preposition in the blank. The question was, 'Bear ____ me for a while.'
Naturally, the answer was "Bear with me for a while." This means that the speaker requests the person to be patient for a while.
Devyani, however, changed the meaning completely with her answer by writing: "Bear chased me for a while."
Ingrish Heard In the Office
Once, my colleague, Hasan, wanted to inform our Director that his mother was seriously ill and that he needed a few days of leave. His application reads as follows:
Wrong Inglish: My mother is very dangerous and I want to saw her. Please leave me three days.
The mother is not dangerous. She's very ill. Also, he doesn't want to saw her, which sounds gruesome. Instead he wants to "see her", or better still, "be by her side". Finally, he is requesting leave; he doesn't want the boss to actually leave him for three days.
Correct English: My mother is seriously ill and I would like to be by her side. Therefore, I request you grant me leave for three days.
Funny Inglish Jokes
More examples of Inlish or Ingrish which you may hear in India or Sri Lanka.
Wrong: Take this letter and post yourself.
Wrong: Udupi Hotel fooding is not good.
Inlish Heard In the Park
Another funny incident happened to Vivendra who was walking in a park with his cousin, Farah.
Vivendra: Wow, what a peaceful atmosphere. It's so calm.
Calamity refers to a disaster or a tragedy. Farah answer mean something completely different to what she meant.
7 Amusing Examples of Inglish or Sri Lankan English
Compiled by Will with the help of Dr Roopa Nishi Viswanathan
At the other end of the speech spectrum these Inglish, or Ingrish funnies arise from shortening English words.
Raj and the Wedding
Raj and Jeeto were preparing wedding cards for their daughter at the printers.
Jeeto was not very good at English so she asked the printer to help her. After the printer had presented her with a draft, she quickly pointed out that the "RSVP " was missing.
The printer was surprised by Jeeto's knowledge and asked her if she knew what it meant.
Jeeto started to think and after much thought he replied, 'Vait! I remember. I remember - RSVP. It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present."'
'Entry From Backside Only', is a funny Ingrish sign that refers to a phrase commonly used on signposts in India to indicate the rear entrance of a building.
Dear sir, with reference to your above, see my below - popular opening line in official letters.
Perhaps the most endearing aspect of Indian English is the way it has preserved forms now regarded as highly old-fashioned in Britain. Addresses such as "Good sir" and questions like "May I know your good name?" are commonplace, as are terms like "tiffin" and "cantonment".
Let us start with Inglish humor by examining the practice in Mumbai of adding -fy to a Hindi word to indicate that an action is being done to someone by someone. From the Hindi word muska, to muskafy means to flatter somebody or to butter them up. Similarly, to pataofy is the action of wooing someone.
Examples of Inglish Acronyms
English has been with India since the early 1600's, when the East India Company started trading and English missionaries first began their efforts.
The English which is spoken in India is different from that spoken in other regions of the world, and it is regarded as the unique variety which is called Indian English or Inglish.
Indians also shorten many words to create commonly used terms.
Enthusiasm is called enthu; as such, it can be used in new ways. One can say, 'That guy has a lot of enthu.' While this is simply an abbreviation, enthu can also be used as an adjective where enthusiasm cannot, as in 'He's a real enthu guy.'
The same applies for fundamentals, which is shortened as fundas. 'She knows her fundas.' What is interesting about fundas is that when the -as ending is dropped and -u is added, it takes on a new meaning and can be used in a new way. Fundu basically means wonderful or brilliant. One can say 'He is a fundu person' or even 'He is fundu.'
Sardar Style Ingrish Jokes
Santa goes into a bar in New York.
The man on his right orders a drink, 'Johnnie Walker, single.'
The man on his left says, 'Jack Daniels, single.'
Santa says. 'Santa Singh, married.'
English and Inglish
English is one of the official languages of India, with about ninety million speakers according to the 1991 Census.
Fewer than a quarter of a million people speak English as their first language. With the exception of some families who communicate primarily in English, as well as members of the relatively small Anglo-Indian community numbering less than half a million, speakers of Indian English use it as a second or third language, after their respective Indian language(s).
Several idiomatic forms, derived from Indian literary and vernacular language, also have made their way into Indian English. Despite this diversity, there is general homogeneity in syntax and vocabulary among the varieties of Indian English.
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