Funny Easter Eggs

Funny Easter Eggs

Will and Guy's collection of funny Easter eggs.

• Do You Know Any of These Funny People?
• Cochineal Easter Egg
• Fabulous Fabergé Easter Eggs
• Good Egg and Bad Egg
• Easter Egg Hunt
• Why Did the Easter Egg Hide?

Do You Know Any of These Funny People?

To the right is a tray of funny Easter eggs produced by the Cleveland Seniors.

Cochineal Easter Egg

When Guy was a boy his mother made special Easter eggs by boiling them in a cochineal dye, I think she added tartaric acid to deepen the colour. 

Incidentally, my mother once asked me to separate two eggs, so I put one in a saucepan and the other in our fridge.

Since those halcyon days I have discovered options to produce a greater variety of funny coloured Easter eggs, for example:

Red
Red onion skins  (Or orange onions if you prefer)

Yellow
Orange
Carrots
Curry powder

Green
Spinach leaves

Blue
Red cabbage leaves

Funny dyed eggs "Check out the dye job" by photobucket

Will's Easter Eggs

Easter Breakfast When Will was a small lad, his mother always decorated his boiled egg on Easter Sunday before attending church at St Mary's, Portchester, Hampshire, England. These photographs remind him of those times. Perhaps you could copy one for your breakfast.

Fabulous Fabergé Easter Eggs

Peter Carl Fabergé original name Carl Gustavovich Fabergé [1846 - 1920] was a Russian jeweller, best known for the famous Fabergé eggs, made in the style of genuine Easter eggs, but using precious metals and gemstones rather than more mundane materials, each egg is about 5 inches tall and depicts a different event or theme in Russia's history.

He was commissioned to create the first egg for the twentieth wedding anniversary of Tsar Alexander III and his wife Maria Feodorovna, of Russia, in 1885.  Every subsequent Easter, another egg was made for Maria as a gift from her husband.  After the passing of Alexander III, his son took up the tradition presenting his wife and his mother with their own custom Fabergé egg every Easter.  In all, 50 eggs were commissioned; to this day eight are still missing.

This is the Coronation Egg, which features the coach that Empress Alexandra rode into Moscow in 1897.

Giant Easter Egg

The Belgian chocolate producer Guylian made this chocolate egg with at least 50,000 bars [amounting to some 1950 kg of chocolate in total] on behalf of the city of St. Niklaas, Belgium. The egg measured 8.32 metres high. Apparently twenty-six craftsman worked altogether 525 hours to build the egg.

After displaying the egg in the open air for a week, and in all weather conditions, Will and Guy suspect that it is unlikely to taste very good.

For many children Easter wouldn't be the same without chocolate eggs. However, those eggs generate around 3,000 tonnes of waste just from their packaging alone.

Good Egg

A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg - even though your slightly cracked.  Or perhaps even scrambled!

Easter Egg Tree

Here we have a photo, taken by Jens Meyer, of Volker Kraft decorating a tree with 9,200 Easter eggs in his garden in the ancient town of Saalfeld in Germany. Will and Guy can tell you that the Kraft family have decorated their tree with Easter eggs for over 40 years.

Ten Thoughtful Quotes For Easter From Will and Guy

There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate. – Linda Grayson [The Pickwick Papers]

A late Easter, a long cold spring.— French proverb

Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless.— Charles M. Crowe

Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection, not in books alone but in every leaf in springtime.— Martin Luther

Spring bursts to-day, For Christ is risen and all the earth's at play. - Christina G. Rossetti

Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. - S.D. Gordon

If Easter says anything to us today, it says this: You can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. You can nail it to a cross, wrap it in winding sheets and shut it up in a tomb, but it will rise! - Clarence W. Hall

I am the resurrection and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. And whoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. – Holy Bible: John, 11. 25

Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II

He who wants Lent to seem short should contract a debt to be repaid at Easter. - Italian Proverb

Ten Funny Items of 'Easter-related' Nonsense

1. What's the difference between the Easter rabbit and a mattababy?
2. What's a mattababy?
3. Nothing. What's the matter with you?
4. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves……………..
5. What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny
6. Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive. - Bugs Bunny
   Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. – RE Shay
7. What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout? A boy scout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
8. What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
9. What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line.
   Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He's the Easter Bungee
10. What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear? Hare today, gone tomorrow.

Easter Time Chocolate Humour

Pete approaches the ice cream van and asks, 'I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please.'

Rhoda, behind the counter replies, 'I'm very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn't come this morning. We're out of chocolate.'

'In that case,' Pete continues, 'I'll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream.'

'You don't appear to understand, sir,' Rhoda sighs. 'We have no chocolate.'

'Then just give me some chocolate,' Pete insists.

Getting angrier by the second, Rhoda asks Pete while gritting her teeth, 'Sir, will you spell "van," as in "vanilla?"'

Pete spells out, 'V A N.'

'Now spell "straw," as in "strawberry".'
'OK. S-T-R-A-W.'
'Now,' Rhoda demands brusquely, 'spell "stink," as in chocolate.'
'Pete hesitates, rather confused, then replies, 'There is no stink in chocolate.'
'That's what I've been trying to tell you!' Rhoda shouts.

More Chocolate One-liners

• If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
• The three best pleasures in life are scratching, sneezing and eating chocolate.
• A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one go. Now isn't that handy?
• One of life's greatest mysteries: you can eat a 2 lb. box of chocolate................and gain 5 lbs.
• It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man. - Miranda Ingram
• Will's favourite chocolate joke: Exercise is a dirty word............................. Every time I hear it, I have to wash my mouth out with chocolate.

Melting chocolate is better than a passionate kiss, scientists have found. Couples in their 20's had their heart rates and brains monitored whilst they first melted chocolate in their mouths and then kissed. Chocolate caused a more intense and longer lasting buzz than kissing, and doubled heart rates. See more about chocolate Valentines. 

Bad Egg - Humpty Dumpty

HOWEVER, the egg only got larger and larger, and more and more human: when Alice had come within a few yards of it, she saw that it had eyes and a nose and mouth; and, when she had come close to it, she saw clearly that it was HUMPTY DUMPTY himself. 'It can't be anybody else!' Alice said to herself. 'I'm as certain of it, as if his name were written all over his face!'

'Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall:
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses and all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty in his place again.'

From (Alice) Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll

Bad Eggs - Pets Beware

Pet owners beware.  You should protect your dogs from the perils of eating chocolate eggs in the run-up to Easter.

Take note of a Patterdale terrier named Polly who scoffed 20 chocolate cakes and cheated death only because her owner realised the mortal danger.  Yvonne Taylor saw her pet dog tucking into the plate of cupcakes, which had been left to cool in the kitchen of her home in Southampton.

The problem is that dogs are not designed to digest theobromine, which is found in chocolate.

"I remembered reading that cocoa could be poisonous to pets, and having used quite a lot in the cakes, I was very worried." Said Yvonne.

Dogs and indeed cats enjoy the taste of chocolate and will eat it if they can get hold of it.  The problem is that Easter there are large quantities of chocolate hanging around and your pet may be tempted to eat more than is good for them.

The White House Easter Egg Roll

Since 1878 the White House Easter Egg Roll has taken place on the South Lawn. In 2009 President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama are continuing the Easter tradition, started by President Rutherford B. Hayes.

The theme for 2009 is "Let's Go Play", clearly setting an example for children to more active pursuits.  This is the first year when people can apply for tickets online.  We do hope that President Obama's daughters Malia and Sasha will take part in the White House Easter Egg Roll on April 13th.

Easter Egg Hunt

An Easter Egg hunt is a wonderful game for adults to organize for children.  Years ago it was something that parents did in their downstairs rooms, nowadays it the Easter Egg Hunt has evolved into an outdoor event for the whole neighbourhood.

Organization plus the greater expanse has created more creative opportunities both for the egg hiding places and the clues to locate the chocolate treasure.  If you are the organizer try to make it as fun as possible, the secret is to keep them them moving and keep them guessing.

Easter Bunny Footprints

Another twist for your Easter egg hunt is to use bunny footprints to give the children clues where to look for the eggs.

Memorable Easter Egg Hunt Story

Emma and Tony thought they would give their toddlers a special Easter egg hunt.  Firstly, Emma hit upon the idea of sprinkling talc on the wooden floor, then using the bunny footprints, they created a trail in the talcum powder.

In the lounge Tony not only placed carrots at strategic points, but also gnawed them to look like the rabbits had been there.  One neat touch was to leave a spilt saucer of milk in the kitchen. 

This Easter bunny scene was so realistic that on Easter Sunday morning their children Ken and Lizzy rushed into our bedroom, screaming: 'the Easter bunny has been'.

Over the years the story has been relived and embellished, 20 years on I am not sure who is the more embarrassed the parents, or the now grown-up children.

The Giant Easter Egg Hunt

I asked my wife where the eggs were for the Easter Egg Hunt and she pointed at these……………

Why Did the Easter Egg Hide?

He was a little chicken!

Happy Easter from Will and Guy

Footnote:
Please send us pictures of your funny Easter eggs 

See more funny Easter pictures and rabbit jokes

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