The hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle is the road.
Learn to ride a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live. - Mark
Twain
'I've really had it with my dog,' said Shelagh to her neighbour.
'He'll chase anyone on a bicycle. Hmmm, that is a problem,' said the
neighbour. 'What are you thinking of doing about it?' 'Guess the only
answer is to confiscate his bike,' answered Shelagh.
Two pieces of black tarmac are standing chatting at the bar, when in
walks a piece of green tarmac.
The piece of green tarmac demands
a pint of bitter from the landlord in a menacing manner, downs it in
one, slams his money on the bar and walks out.
The landlord turns
to the two pieces of black tarmac and says, 'Well I'm glad he didn't
cause any trouble - I've heard he's a bit of a cyclepath.'
Did you hear about the idiot who won the Tour De France? He did a
lap of honour.
Anti French Sentiment [Not supported by Will and Guy] CNN is reporting
that Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his 7th Tour de France title. In a
random check for banned substances, three were found in Armstrong's hotel
room.
The 3 substances banned by the French, that were found in Lance's hotel room
were as follows:
Toothpaste
Deodorant
Soap
¤¤
Funny French Notices
Seen in a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front
desk.
Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
How I Beat Lance Armstrong
'I don't remember you ever beating Lance Armstrong' commented Eric, the Sun
journalist. 'When would that have occurred?' 'In the seventh stage of
the Tour de France in 2002, I beat him over the head with my water bottle -
but he still won the tour!'
La deviation pour chauffeur de camion - My driver likes camels.
The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed
any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit
outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more
stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't
know. - P.J O'Rourke
Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub when the Tour de France came on the
main TV channel RTé. Mick and Seamus watched the cyclists for a while then
Seamus asked, "Why do they do that?"
"Do what?" said Mick
"Go on them bikes for miles and miles, up and down the hills, round the
bends. Day after day, week after week. No matter if it's icy,
raining, snowing, hailing . . . why would they torture themselves like
that?"
"It's all for the money," says the Mick. "The winner gets half a million
Euros (Dollars)."
"I see." says Seamus, "But why do the others do it?"
Footnote: Please send us your Tour de France jokes
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