In 2008 February 7th was the first day of the Chinese New Year.
The Chinese New Year falls on a different date each year. However,
this is understandable because their ancestors used the full moon to fix
the date of each new year.
2008 is the year of the rat. This Chinese New Year is also known as 'Tze'.
Unlike western calendars, the Chinese calendar has names
that are repeated every 60 years. In the Chinese 'Stem-Branch' calendar this is the 9th
year of the 60 year cycle. Within the 'Stem-Branch' system is shorter cycle of 12 years denoted by these animals:
Rat Ox Tiger Hare Dragon Snake Horse Sheep Monkey Rooster Dog Pig 2008200920102011 2012 2013 2014 2015
2016 2017 2018
2007
A Chinese town has made the world's longest dragon. Shuangfeng town, Taicang city, China, made the 2,008 metre long dragon to mark the 2008 Beijing Olympics. It is a mile and a quarter
long and will need 1,200 dancers to support it at the town's traditional dragon dance.
Apparently more than 10 workers worked over the months to make the huge dragon. It needed 4,200 meters of fabric
and more than 300 bamboo poles recorded a China news Agency.
The price of hamsters risen threefold in China since the start of the
Chinese New Year: the Year of the Rat. The animals are considered
lucky and more acceptable pets than rats. The Xinhua news agency
identified hamsters as having a better image than rats or mice; also
that they are more likely to be amiable and friendly.
The Chinese word for rat, 'laoshu', covers a variety of animals that
can include kangaroo rats, hamsters and moles. Pet shops have been
selling out even at comparatively high prices of 30 Yuan [more than £2;
approx. $3.90USD] for each hamster. Meanwhile, Nanning Zoo in southern
China has been importing rat-like creatures from around the world in a
tribute to the new year. Will and Guy have learned that the zoo's
collection now includes kangaroo rats, hamsters, moles, marmots, and
flying squirrels
At the Chinese New Year red is important. People wear red clothes, they write poems on red paper, and give children 'luck money' in red envelopes. The symbolism behind the red colour is fire,
and fire burns off bad luck. As for fireworks one belief is that the cracker jacks and sparks frighten away evil spirits.
After the fireworks at the beginning of the celebration of the Chinese
new year, comes the more tranquil Lantern Festival on the last day of the festivities. Most Lantern parades feature a dragon made of silk and bamboo. The dancers hold the monstrous
dragon aloft on sticks. Their coordination skills make the dragon appear to
dance.
It was Chinese New Year. Bill and Jackson had just staggered back home
from a hard night's drinking when they noticed that a menu from the new
restaurant next door had come through the letter box. On a whim they decided to celebrate the Chinese New Year with a take-away.
Jackson, was just off out of the door to fetch their meal when Bill turned to
him and said, 'Please get me 20 number 6 while you're at the take-away.
Jackson returned with their chicken Chou Mein, sweet and sour pork and 20 portions of egg
fried rice. Bill said, 'Where's me fags'. Jackson said, 'What cigarettes,
you asked for 20 number 6 and that's what you've got, enough egg fried rice to
feed a Chinese Junk from Shanghai to Hong Kong'.
Bill said, 'When I was last in England Embassy No 6 was a packet of fags.'
It's a Dog's Life
Meanwhile, Bill and Jackson's wives decided to dine out a new Chinese
Restaurant. Jackson's wife Julie was inseparable from her Pekingese dog
called 'Pepe'. So Took took Pepe along with them to the restaurant.
Whenever they went to their usual restaurant the manager's wife looked after
Pepe while they ate, and they thought it would be no different this new
restaurant.
Julie and her friend Rachel, gave Pepe to the owner and went to their seats.
They ordered their meal, had a few drinks and eventually their meal arrived.
They were mortified when it turned out to be their beloved Pepe surrounded by
Chop Suey.
As the owner explained the next day to Bill and Jackson, they thought that
Julie and Rachel wanted the chef to cook the dog, not look after it while the
women dined.
One-liners
How did an embarrassed panda get mistaken for a newspaper? They are
both black and white, and red all over!
What's purple, 10,000 km long and 12m high? The grape wall of China.
Traditional Chinese Sense of Humour
Prime Minister Chang was happy enough to write, but he didn't put in a lot of
care into his brush strokes. Everybody sneered at his bad handwriting, and the
Prime Minister himself really didn't care.
One day Chang thought of a beautiful sentence and at once wielded his writing
brush to write it down, indeed, there were dragons flying and snakes dancing all
over the paper. Then he ordered his secretary to write it out neatly.
When beginning to copy, his secretary stared tongue-tied and did not know
where to start. The young man had to take the manuscript back to the Prime
Minister.
'Prime Minister Chang, I can't read your handwriting, please tell me what
words they are.'
The Prime Minister read his cursive hand a long time, and did not know what
Chinese characters they were, either. He then turned to blame his secretary.
'Why didn't you come earlier to ask me? I myself have forgotten the words which
I've written.'
Chinese Phrases
搞笑清洁笑话in China roughly
translates into clean funny jokes.
干净免费笑话,故事图片、视频剪辑 means clean free jokes, stories pictures and video-clips
Chinese Characters
A simple example of Chinese characters showing how the sun symbol can be modified with a line to
mean dawn.
Get a clean joke delivered to your inbox every
day, no strings attached, just part of our free service. Subscribe to
our Funny Joke of the Day.
We have over 1,200 pages of funny pictures, clean jokes, stories and amusing videos. Please use the Search below to find a topic of particular interest:
Jokes for mobile phones / cell phones
Will and Guy now have clean jokes and funny pictures formatted for 'mobi' or cell phones.
Just enter the following uri into your mobile or cell phone,
and view our jokes on your handset: http://guy-sports.com/mobi/