Funny Advent Calendar

Will and Guy's Funny Advent Calendar

• Funny Advent Calendar
• What to do with a large snowfall
• Christmas Off-Licence Problem
• Will's Christmas Tree
• A Dog's Life at Christmas
• An Advent Calendar to Avoid?

Funny Advent Calendar

This is our sort of advent calendar, treat yourself to one of these pre-Christmas presents.  Available at all good off-licences / liqueur stores near you.

What to do with a large snowfall

Uses of snow #37.  Keeping your beer and wine chilled.  What to do when you cannot get out because of a show drift. See close-up picture of can and bottle embedded in the snow.  This is one way to spend a memorable Christmas!

More Cocktail Cabinets

Do you have a pet name for your cocktail cabinet?  Will's own cocktail cabinet is called a 'Foley'.  The reason being it's short, fat and always full of booze - just like our old friend Dave Foley.  These days Guy's drinks cabinet is more of a 'Barker', long thin, but rarely contains any booze these days - just like another of our friends Dave Barker.

Christmas Off-Licence Problem

It was the day of the big pre-Christmas Sale. Rumours of the sale of cheap booze, with some advertising in the local paper, were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30am, the store's opening time, in the store car park.

A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colourful and bawdy curses.  On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he shouted to the people at the end of the line. 

'That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!'

Will's Christmas Tree

I see that Will even has an advent calendar underneath his Christmas tree.

A Dog's Life at Christmas

Will and Guy suspect this dog is sad because he has no beef flavoured beer for Christmas.

An Advent Calendar to Avoid?

In Hanover, Germany the tourist office had to withdraw an Advent calendar, showing a serial killer brandishing a meat cleaver.  The man in question is Fritz Haarman, known as the Butcher of Hanover, he killed 24 young men then chopped up their corpses and dumped their remains in the river Leine.  Haarman is depicted on the calendar lurking behind a tree on the river bank.

A jobsworth admitted that the advent calendar was: 'perhaps a little off-colour'.   Another official tried to defend the calendar by saying, 'He is part of our city's history. Even on guided tours the serial killer's story is told.'

It's hard to work out why you cannot buy this Haarman advent calendar, is it because Hanover have withdrawn it, or has it sold out!

Footnote:
Please send us your funny Advent calendars

See more Christmas jokes and funny pictures:

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