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World's Smallest Nativity Scene for Christmas Smallest Nativity Scene

The world's smallest nativity scene with tiny hand carved figures including an angel has been created on the head of a pin by an Italian craftsman.

Aldo Caliro sculpted the figures of the Virgin Mary, Joseph and the Angel together with a tiny baby Jesus in his crib on the top of the pin that was then mounted on a piece of velvet surrounded by a halo of diamonds that dwarf the figures, Will and Guy have learned.

Caliro then painted the figures by hand using a single sable hair from a paintbrush. Also, Caliro, a master craftsman in Italy, has now applied to enter the Guinness Book of Records.

Caliro stated, 'It was hard work, I started off creating a nativity scene on a lentil and a coffee bean to warm up; and then when I had perfected those, I started work on the nativity scene on the head of the pin. I am very proud of it.'

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Chav Nativity

Guy says this Chav Nativity is bound to offend some people (including me).  These are the reasons that I still went ahead and published the article:

a)  This maybe the only form that young people can relate to the Nativity story.
b)  It acts as a jolt.  The form of words that I usually read the Nativity, is not the same form of words that they were written 2000 years ago.
c)  People can still read the traditional version published underneath.

Chav Nativity
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)

She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He
does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.

One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like 'Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally
gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no
Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz
is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.

She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon
I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna
get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'

Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn
Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To
have her bay-bee an' that.

But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter
into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their
'eads. They're like 'Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from
the East End.

Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to
kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from
this Lord geezer.

He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You
better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm
goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'

Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.' So
they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's
safe an' that.

Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into
Stella.

'APPY CRIMBO

  ›

A Child's Christmas Prayer

Snowflakes softly falling
Upon your window play,
Your blankets snug around you,
into sleep you drift away.
I bend to gently kiss you,
when I see that on the floor
There's a letter, neatly written,
I wonder who it's for.

I quietly unfold it
making sure you're still asleep,
It's a Christmas list for Santa -
one my heart will always keep.
It started just as always
with the toys seen on TV,
A new watch for your father
and a winter coat for me.

But as my eyes read on
I could see that deep inside
There were many things you wished for
that your loving heart would hide.
You asked if your friend Molly
could have another dad;
It seems her father hits her
and it makes you very sad.

Then you asked dear Santa
if the neighbors down the street
Could find a job, that he might have
some food, and clothes, and heat.
You saw a family on the news
whose house had blown away;
'Dear Santa, send them just one thing
a place where they can stay.

And Santa, those four cookies
that I left you for a treat,
Could you take them to the children
who have nothing else to eat?
Do you know that little bear I have -
the one I love so dear?
I'm leaving it for you to take
to Africa this year.

And as you fly your reindeer
on this night of Jesus' birth,
Could your magic bring to everyone
goodwill and peace on earth?
There's one last thing before you go--
so grateful I would be--
If you'd smile at Baby Jesus
in the manger by our tree.'

I pulled the letter close to me;
I felt it melt my heart.
Those tiny hands had written
what no other could impart.
'And a little child shall lead them,'
was whispered in my ear
As I watched you sleep on Christmas Eve
while Santa Claus was here.

Author Unknown

 


See more amusing Christmas pictures and funny cartoons:

Funny Christmas cartoons   ∗ Snow pictures   ∗ Christmas jokes   ∗ Funny Santa sleigh

'Feel good' Christmas pictures   ∗ Funny advent calendar   ∗ Funny turkey pictures

Christmas food and drink   ∗ Snowmen pictures   ∗ Christmas humour    ∗ Nativity animation


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