Funny Christmas Carols

Funny Christmas Carols

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Funny Christmas CarolsJoke Christmas carol.  Will and Guy Humour

Here are 12 Carols that Will and Guy won't be singing this Christmas.

  1. Deck the halls with Buddy Holly
  2. We three kings of porridge and tar
  3. On the first day of Christmas, my tulip gave to me
  4. Sleep in heavenly peas
  5. In the meadow we can build a snowman; then pretend that he is sparse and brown
  6. He's making a list, chicken and rice
  7. Noel, Noel, Barney's the King of Israel
  8. Olive, the other reindeer...
  9. Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say
  10. You'll go down in Listerine
  11. Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay
  12. Come, froggy faithful

Another Funny Christmas Carol

Samantha decided to go carol singing on Christmas Eve. She knocked on the door of a house and began to sing.

A man, holding a clarinet, opened the door to the house. In a few seconds tears were streaming down his face.

Samantha continued singing for at least a further 20 minutes.  She sang every carol she knew. At last she stopped. 'I understand,' she said softly. 'You are remembering your happy childhood Christmas days. You really are extremely sentimental.'

Choking back the tears the man answered between sobs, 'No..........I'm a musician.'

Footnote:
Please send us your funny Christmas carols and stories

Funny Christmas Carol Lyrics

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth

 ♪

Every body stops
and stares at me
These two teeth are
gone as you can see
I don't know just who
to blame for this catastrophe!
But my one wish on Christmas Eve
is as plain as it can be!

All I want for Christmas
is my two front teeth,
my two front teeth,
see my two front teeth!

Grandma got run over by a reindeerSanta Claus Carol

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.
When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.

I saw Elvis dressed as Santa Claus

Best to use the tune: 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus' by The Fibs

Oh, I saw Elvis dressed as Santa Claus
In my home town shopping mall last night.
I knew it must be him
Santa is a very slim.
And his sideburns where much darker
Than the whiskers on his chin.

Oh, I saw Elvis dressed as Santa Claus
Hiding under that beard of snowy white.
Then I saw his whiskers slip,
When he curled his lip.
Elvis dressed as Santa Claus last night.

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Twas The Night Before Christmas

Will and Guy are aware of the plethora of versions of The Night before Christmas and we think that many, but not all, are rather contrived and fairly meaningless. However, we have found this anonymous version the sentiment with which we both agree.

We hope that you will find it thought provoking and even, perhaps, it will bring a smile to your face. Twas the Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and out on the ranch
The pond was froze over and so was the branch.
The snow was piled up belly-deep to a mule.
The kids were all home on vacation from school,

And happier young folks you never did see-
Just all sprawled around a-watchin' TV.
Then suddenly, sometime around 8 o'clock,
There came a surprise that gave them a shock!

The power went off, the TV went dead!
When Grandpa came in from out in the shed
With an armload of wood, the house was all dark.
'Just what I expected,' they heard him remark.

'Them power line wires must be down from the snow.
Seems sorter like times on the ranch long ago.'
'I'll hunt up some candles,' said Mom. 'With their light,
And the fireplace, I reckon we'll make out all right.'

The teen-agers all seemed enveloped in gloom.
Then Grandpa came back from a trip to his room,
Uncased his old fiddle and started to play
That old Christmas song about bells on a sleigh.

Mom started to sing, and first thing they knew
Both Pop and the kids were all singing it, too.
They sang Christmas carols, they sang 'Holy Night,'
Their eyes all a-shine in the ruddy firelight.

They played some charades Mom recalled from her youth,
And Pop read a passage from God's Book of Truth.
They stayed up till midnight-and, would you believe,
The youngsters agreed 'twas a fine Christmas Eve.

Grandpa rose early, some time before dawn;
And when the kids wakened, the power was back on.
'The power company sure got the line repaired quick,'
Said Grandpa - and no one suspected his trick.

Last night, for the sake of some old-fashioned fun,
He had pulled the main switch - the old Son-of-a-Gun!

A Christmas Carol

A Christmas Carol was written by Charles Dickens in 1834.  It is perhaps the first time we see the idea of celebrating Christmas at home with the family.  The story features such famous characters as Ebenezer Scrooge, Tiny Tim and Bob ratchit, and of course the Ghosts of Christmas, Past, Present and Future.

Ebenezer ScroogeEbenezer Scrooge - A Christmas Carol

Scrooge is the world's most maligned character. How do we think of Ebenezer Scrooge?  Firstly it's always Scrooge and never Ebenezer, secondly we always see him as hating children and being mean with money. If you find the time to read Charles Dickens novel 'A Christmas Carol', then you will discover a more complex personality. Indeed, the novel shows that Scrooge as a Jekyll and Hyde tendencies, where good overcomes evil.

The name Scrooge has become synonymous with meanness, and nothing is likely to change that general perception. We must also remember that Scrooge is a product of his time - London in the 1840s.

The Original Scrooge

The original Scrooge (who pre-dated Ebenezer) was probably Oliver Cromwell and his Puritan Council, who, in December 1657 abolished all Christmas festivities. These were restored in 1660 when King Charles the second was returned to the throne.

See a good account of Charles Dickens Christmas Carol Featuring Scrooge

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Jingle Bells by James Pierpoint

 ♪

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh

Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bob tails ring
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
A sleighing song tonight

A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride
And soon Miss Fanny Bright
Was seated by my side
The horse was lean and lank
Misfortune seemed his lot
We got into a drifted bank
And then we got upsot

¦

Let It Snow! by Sammy Cahn

Oh, the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful,
And since we've no place to go,
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

It doesn't show signs of stopping,
And I brought some corn for popping;
The lights are turned way down low,
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

When we finally say good night,
How I'll hate going out in the storm;
But if you really hold me tight,
All the way home I'll be warm.

The fire is slowly dying,
And, my dear, we're still good-bye-ing,
But as long as you love me so.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town by Fred Coots and Henry Gillespie

You better watch outSanta Claus Is Coming To Town
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town

He's making a list,
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice.
Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!
You better not cry.
Better not pout, I'm telling you why.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
Santa Claus is coming to town.

White Christmas by Irving Berlin

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the treetops glisten
and children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow.Will's Garden

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white.

Footnote:
This photograph is of Will's back garden, and was taken by his son, Alex. It reminds him of the Irving Berlin song, 'White Christmas', immortalised by Bing Crosby and regularly sung by Will's late father as he pottered at home. Interestingly, however, the picture was taken on 6th April -not at Christmas time - furthermore, Will lives in the south of England where it rarely snows. This snowfall was a freak.

Other Christmas Carols Include:


See more clean Christmas jokes and funny pictures:

Funny Christmas jokes    ∗ Funnies, one-liners    ∗ Riddles    ∗ Christmas Quotes   ∗ Home

Christmas Humour 2009    ∗ Funny Xmas carols    ∗ Christmas Carols    ∗ Funny advent calendar

Christmas food and drink    ∗ Christmas red tape    ∗ Funny Christmas pictures    ∗ Christmas verse


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