On this page, as a change from jokes, we feature the beautiful 12 days
of Christmas pictures. Take a restful scroll through this classic verse or just count with the pictures.
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A Partridge in a Pear Tree.
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Two Turtle
Doves
and a partridge in a pear tree.
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Three French
hens,
two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
12 Days of Christmas Pictures of Days 1-3
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Four
Calling Birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear
tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Five Golden
Rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a
partridge in a pear tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Six Geese
a-laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three
French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
12 Days of Christmas Pictures of Days 4-6
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Seven
Swans a-swimming,
six geese a-laying. Five golden rings. Four calling birds, three
French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Eight Maids
a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying. Five golden rings.
Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a
partridge in a pear tree. On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Nine Ladies
Dancing,
eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese
a-laying. Five golden rings. Four calling birds, three French hens,
two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
12 Days of Christmas Pictures of Days 7-9
On the tenth of Christmas, my true love gave to me Ten Lords
a-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans
a-swimming, six geese a-laying. Five golden rings. Four calling birds,
three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Eleven
Pipers Piping, ten lords a-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking,
seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying. Five golden rings. Four
calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in
a pear tree.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Twelve
Drummers Drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords a-leaping,
nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming,
six geese a-laying. Five golden rings. Four calling birds, three
French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
Effective immediately: the following economizing measures are being
implemented by the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' subsidiary
The partridge
will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop
forecasted, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing
considerable savings in maintenance
Two turtle doves represent a
redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance
during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are, therefore,
eliminated
The three French hens will remain intact. After all,
everyone loves the French
The four calling birds will be replaced by an
automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is
underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how
long they talked
The five golden rings have been put on hold by the
Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could
have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into
other precious metals, as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology
stocks, appear to be in order
The six geese-a-laying constitutes a
luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the
production rate of one egg per goose per day was an example of the general
decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the
selection procedure by Human Resources will assure management that, from now
on, every goose it gets will be a good one
The seven swans-a-swimming
is obviously a number chosen in better times. The function is primarily
decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be
retrained to learn some new strokes, thereby enhancing their outplacement
As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy
scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being
sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward
mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending,
a-mentoring or a-mulching
Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd
number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and
can no longer do the steps
Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high
cost of Lords, plus the expense of international air travel, prompted the
Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work
congressmen. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings
are significant as we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this
year
Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case
of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback
on new music, and no uniforms, will produce savings which will drop right to
the bottom line
Overall we can expect a substantial reduction in
assorted people, fowl, animals and related expenses. Though incomplete,
studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient.
If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.
Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorneys association seeking
expansion to include the legal profession ['Thirteen lawyers-a-suing'], a decision is
pending.
Deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to remain
competitive. Should that happen, the Board will request management to
scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right
number.
All I want for Christmas is you You're the gift that's made my dreams all come
true - All I need for Christmas is here Finding every sweet surprise Wrapped up in your eyes Waiting there for me Underneath the tree
We'll spend the day Exchanging kisses Smile
and say 'What a Christmas this is'
Long before the snowflakes appear Without bells and mistletoe or the tinsel's silver glow You just look at me and oh - Christmas is here
Long before the
snowflakes appear Without bells and mistletoe or the tinsel's silver glow You just look at me and oh - Christmas is here
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; the stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In
hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there; the children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads; And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I, in my cap, Had
just settled our brains for a long winters nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open
the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below, When, what to my wandering eyes should appear, But a miniature
sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer, With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted,
and called them by name; Now Dasher!, now, Dancer!, now Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet!, on, Cupid!, on, Donner and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash way! Dash away!
Dash away all!
This version of 'Twas the night before Christmas' was written by a peace keeping soldier
♪
Twas the night before Christmas He lived all alone In a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone I had come down the chimney with presents to give And to see just who in this home did
live
I looked all about a strange sight I did see No tinsel no presents not even a tree No stocking by the mantle just boots filled with sand On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands
With medals and badges awards of all kinds A sober thought came through my mind For this house was different it was dark and dreary I found the home of a soldier once I could see clearly The
soldier lay sleeping silent alone Curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home The face was so gentle the room in such disorder Not how I pictured a lone British soldier Was this the hero
of whom I'd just read Curled up on a poncho the floor for a bed
I realised the families that I saw this night Owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight Soon round the
world the children would play And grownups would celebrate a bright Christmas day
They all enjoy freedom each month of the year Because of the soldiers like the one lying here I couldn't
help wonder how many alone On a cold Christmas eve in a land far from home
The very though brought a tear to my eye I dropped to my knees and started to cry The soldier awakened and I heard
a rough voice 'Santa don't cry this life is my choice I fight for freedom I don't ask for more My life is my god, my country. my corps'
The soldier rolled over and drifted to sleep I
couldn't control it I continued to weep
I kept watch for hours so silent and still And we both sat and shivered from the cold nights chill I didn't want to leave on that cold dark night This
guardian of honour so willing to fight
Then the soldier rolled over with a voice soft and pure Whispered 'carry on Santa its Christmas day all is secure' One look at my watch and I knew he was
right 'Merry Christmas my friend and to all a good night'
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck. How to live in a
world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to
"Elves". "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And
labour conditions at the North Pole were alleged by the union to stifle
the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released to the
wilds by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet
and Cupid Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh; The ruts were termed
dangerous by the E.P.A. And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops. Second-hand smoke from his
pipe had his workers quite frightened. His fur trimmed red suit was
called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was
suing over unauthorised use of his nose And had gone on Geraldo, in front
of the nation, Demanding millions in over-due compensation. So, half
of the reindeer were gone; and his wife, Who suddenly said she'd enough
of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz, Demanding from
now on her title was Ms. And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a
notion That making a choice could cause so much commotion. Nothing of
leather, nothing of fur, Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for
her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute. Nothing to aim, Nothing to
shoot. Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise. Nothing for just
girls, or just for the boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets.they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to
embellish a truth. And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, Were like
Ken and Barbie, better off hidden. For they raised the hackles of those
psychological Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football.someone could get hurt; Besides, playing
sports exposed kids to dirt. Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be
passe; And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away. So Santa just
stood there, dishevelled, perplexed; He just could not figure out what to
do next.
¦
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay, But you've got to be careful
with that word today. His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found. Something special was needed, a
gift that he might Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision, Each group of people,
every religion; Every ethnicity, every hue, Everyone, everywhere.even
you. So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth. May you and your
loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.
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