12 Days of Christmas Pictures

12 Days of Christmas Pictures

• 12 Days of Christmas Pictures
• Memo to Departments During the Christmas Credit Crunch
• A Christmas Love Song
• Twas The Night Before Christmas
• Twas the Night Before Christmas and Santa's a Wreck

12 Days of Christmas

On this page, as a change from jokes, we feature the beautiful 12 days of Christmas pictures.  Take a restful scroll through this classic verse or just count with the pictures.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me A Partridge in a  Pear Tree. 

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Two Turtle Doves and a partridge in a pear tree. 
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Three French hens,  two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.

12 Days of Christmas Pictures of Days 1-3

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Four Calling Birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. 
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Five Golden Rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Six Geese a-laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.

12 Days of Christmas Pictures of Days 4-6

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Seven Swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying. Five golden rings. Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Eight Maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying. Five golden rings. Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Nine Ladies Dancing,  eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying. Five golden rings. Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.

12 Days of Christmas Pictures of Days 7-9

On the tenth of Christmas, my true love gave to me Ten Lords a-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying. Five golden rings. Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.   
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Eleven Pipers Piping, ten lords a-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying. Five golden rings. Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Twelve Drummers Drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords a-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying. Five golden rings. Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.

12 Days of Christmas Pictures of Days 10-12

Based on original pictures of: 12 days of Christmas Pictures

Partridge Memo to All Departments During the Christmas Credit Crunch

Effective immediately: the following economizing measures are being implemented by the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' subsidiary

1. The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop forecasted, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance
2. Two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are, therefore, eliminated
3. The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French
4. The four calling birds will be replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked
5. The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals, as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks, appear to be in order
6. The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day was an example of the general decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by Human Resources will assure management that, from now on, every goose it gets will be a good one
7. The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. The function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes, thereby enhancing their outplacement
8. As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching
9. Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps
10. Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords, plus the expense of international air travel, prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant as we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this year
11. Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new music, and no uniforms, will produce savings which will drop right to the bottom line

Overall we can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and related expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.

Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorneys association seeking expansion to include the legal profession ['Thirteen lawyers-a-suing'], a decision is pending.

Deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to remain competitive. Should that happen, the Board will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right number.

A Christmas Love Song

All I want for Christmas is you
You're the gift that's made my dreams all come true -
All I need for Christmas is here
Finding every sweet surprise
Wrapped up in your eyes
Waiting there for me
Underneath the tree

We'll spend the day
Exchanging kisses
Smile and say 'What a Christmas this is'

Long before the snowflakes appear
Without bells and mistletoe
or the tinsel's silver glow
You just look at me and oh - Christmas is here

Long before the snowflakes appear
Without bells and mistletoe
or the tinsel's silver glow
You just look at me and oh - Christmas is here

Twas The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
the stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
the children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I, in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winters nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
Now Dasher!, now, Dancer!, now Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet!, on, Cupid!, on, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash way! Dash away! Dash away all!

This version of 'Twas the night before Christmas' was written by a peace keeping soldier

Twas the night before Christmas
He lived all alone
In a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone
I had come down the chimney with presents to give
And to see just who in this home did live

I looked all about a strange sight I did see
No tinsel no presents not even a tree
No stocking by the mantle just boots filled with sand
On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands
With medals and badges awards of all kinds
A sober thought came through my mind
For this house was different it was dark and dreary
I found the home of a soldier once I could see clearly
The soldier lay sleeping silent alone
Curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home
The face was so gentle the room in such disorder
Not how I pictured a lone British soldier
Was this the hero of whom I'd just read
Curled up on a poncho the floor for a bed

I realised the families that I saw this night
Owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight
Soon round the world the children would play
And grownups would celebrate a bright Christmas day

They all enjoy freedom each month of the year
Because of the soldiers like the one lying here
I couldn't help wonder how many alone
On a cold Christmas eve in a land far from home

The very though brought a tear to my eye
I dropped to my knees and started to cry
The soldier awakened and I heard a rough voice
'Santa don't cry this life is my choice
I fight for freedom I don't ask for more
My life is my god, my country. my corps'

The soldier rolled over and drifted to sleep
I couldn't control it I continued to weep

I kept watch for hours so silent and still
And we both sat and shivered from the cold nights chill
I didn't want to leave on that cold dark night
This guardian of honour so willing to fight

Then the soldier rolled over with a voice soft and pure
Whispered 'carry on Santa its Christmas day all is secure'
One look at my watch and I knew he was right
'Merry Christmas my friend and to all a good night'

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck.
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole
were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,

Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets.they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football.someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere.even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth.
May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.

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