Christmas Humour - Funny Pictures, Jokes, Videos and Stories

This page is a mini sitemap for Will and Guy's Christmas Humour. Enjoy our jokes, riddles, videos and funny Christmas pictures for the festive season.

Christmas Humour - Topics

Funny Christmas Pictures

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Funny Christmas Jokes

'Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Christmas bell.'
'Take these pills and if they don't work, give me a ring.'

Funny Christmas Videos and PowerPoint Presentations

Funny Christmas Stories

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.

Religious Christmas

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Stages of Christmas

When you consider Christmas, there are four stages in your life:-

1) You believe in Santa
2) You don't believe in Santa
3) You are Santa
4) You look like Santa

Christmas Warnings

19 people have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

31 people have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and an Honest Lawyer

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.

Santa Claus Sledge Needs a Tow

Santa Claus' sledge broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, 'Can you help me fix my sledge, please?'

'Sorry,' the motorist replied, 'I'm not a mechanic - I'm a podiatrist.'

'In that case,' retorted Santa, 'Can you give me a tow?'..........[toe]

Xmas Humour - Cracker Riddle

What did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine?
This will sleigh you.

Q. What's Christmas called in England?
A. Yule Britannia! (English Christmas Humour!)

School Nativity - Urban Myth

The boy who was playing the Inn Keeper was fed up of his insignificant role, so when Joseph knocked and asked if there was any room in the inn. Instead of saying 'No' as he was supposed to, the young prima donna said, 'Come in Joseph and Mary, there is plenty of room in my inn.'

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How They Forecast a Cold Winter

One day in early September the chief of a Native American tribe was asked by his tribal elders if the winter of 2008/9 was going to be cold or mild. The chief asked his medicine man, but he too had lost touch with the reading signs from the natural world around the Great Lakes.

In truth, neither of them had idea about how to predict the coming winter. However, the chief decided to take a modern approach, and the chief rang the National Weather Service in Gaylord Michigan.

'Yes, it is going to be a cold winter,' the meteorological officer told the chief. Consequently, he went back to his tribe and told the men to collect plenty of firewood.

A fortnight later the chief called the Weather Service and asked for an update. 'Are you still forecasting a cold winter?' he asked.

'Yes, very cold', the weather officer told him.

As a result of this brief conversation the chief went back to the tribe and told his people to collect every bit of wood they could find.

A month later the chief called the National Weather Service once more and asked about the coming winter. 'Yes,' he was told, 'it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

The weatherman replied: 'Because the Native Americans of the Great Lakes are collecting wood like crazy.'

See more of our Christmas Humour stories

Bambi Meets Snowman

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Don't Try This at Home!

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Pastor Tony is walking down the street on Christmas eve when he notices a Larry, a small boy, trying to press the doorbell of a house across the street. However, Larry is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, Pastor Tony moves closer to Larry's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to Larry's level, Pastor Tony smiles benevolently and asks, 'And now what, my little man?'

To which Larry replies with a beaming grin,
'Now we run!'

Christmas Videos

See our collection of Christmas lights videos

How to Say "Merry Christmas" in 75 Other Languages

Language Merry Christmas

Afrikaans Gesëende Kersfees

Albanian Gezur Krislinjden

Arabic Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah

Argentine Feliz Navidad

Armenian Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Pari Gaghand

Basque Zorionak eta Urte Berri On!

Bengali Shuvo Naba Barsha

Bohemian Vesele Vanoce

Brazilian Boas Festas e Feliz Ano Novo

Breton Nedeleg laouen na bloavezh mat

Bulgarian Tchestita Koleda; Tchestito Rojdestvo Hristovo

Catalan Bon Nadal i un Bon Any Nou!

Chile Feliz Navidad

Chinese (Cantonese) Gun Tso Sun Tan'Gung Haw Sun

Chinese (Mandarin) Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan

Cornish Nadelik looan na looan blethen noweth

Corsian Pace e salute

Croatian Sretan Bozic

Czech Prejeme Vam Vesele Vanoce a stastny Novy Rok

Danish GlÃ¦delig Jul

Dutch Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar!

English Merry Christmas

Eskimo (inupik) Jutdlime pivdluarit ukiortame pivdluaritlo!

Esperanto Gajan Kristnaskon

Estonian Ruumsaid juulup|hi

Finnish Hyvaa joulua

Flemish Zalig Kerstfeest en Gelukkig nieuw jaar

French Joyeux Noel

Frisian Noflike Krystdagen en in protte Lok en Seine yn it Nije Jier!

Gaelic Nollaig chridheil agus Bliadhna mhath Ã¹r!

German Froehliche Weihnachten

Greek Kala Christouyenna!

Hawaiian Mele Kalikimaka

Hebrew Mo'adim Lesimkha. Chena tova

Hindi Shub Naya Baras

Hawaiian Mele Kalikimaka ame Hauoli Makahiki Hou!

Hungarian Kellemes Karacsonyi unnepeket

Icelandic Gledileg Jol

Indonesian Selamat Hari Natal

Iraqi Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah

Irish Nollaig Shona Dhuit, or Nodlaig mhaith chugnat

Italian Buone Feste Natalizie

Japanese Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto

Korean Sung Tan Chuk Ha

Latin Natale hilare et Annum Faustum!

Latvian Prieci'gus Ziemsve'tkus un Laimi'gu Jauno Gadu!

Lithuanian Linksmu Kaledu

Maltese LL Milied Lt-tajjeb

Manx Nollick ghennal as blein vie noa

Maori Meri Kirihimete

Norwegian God Jul, or Gledelig Jul

Papua New Guinea Bikpela hamamas blong dispela Krismas na Nupela yia i go long yu

Peru Feliz Navidad y un Venturoso AÃ±o Nuevo

Philippines Maligayan Pasko!

Polish Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia or Boze Narodzenie

Portuguese Feliz Natal

Romanian Sarbatori fericite & La multi ani

Russian Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva is Novim Godom

Samoan La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou

Serbian Hristos se rodi

Slovakian Sretan Bozic or Vesele vianoce

Samoan La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou

Scots Gaelic Nollaig chridheil huibh

Serbian Hristos se rodi.

Slovak Vesele Vianoce. A stastlivy Novy Rok

Spanish Feliz Navidad

Swedish God Jul and (Och) Ett Gott Nytt Ã...r

Thai Sawadee Pee Mai

Tongan Mele Kalisimasi

Turkish Noeliniz Ve Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun

Ukrainian Srozhdestvom Kristovym

Urdu Naya Saal Mubarak Ho

Vietnamese Chung Mung Giang Sinh

Welsh Nadolig Llawen

Yugoslavian Cestitamo Bozic

Footnote:
Please write to Will and Guy if you have any good examples of Christmas Humour.

See more clean Christmas jokes and funny pictures:

∗ Home ∗ Christmas jokes ∗ Funnies ∗ Riddles ∗ Christmas Quotes ∗ Christmas verse

∗ Christmas 2008 ∗ Funny Xmas carols ∗ Christmas Carols ∗ Funny advent calendar

∗ Christmas food and drink ∗ Christmas red tape ∗ Funny Christmas pictures ∗ Turkeys

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Christmas Humour - Funny Pictures, Jokes, Videos and Stories