New Year - Key Questions

New Year - Key Questions

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. Mark Twain

How to Tell That You have Entered a New Year:

• You enter your password on the microwave.
• You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
• You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of four.
• You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He 'phones you back from his bedroom, 'What's for dinner?'
• You chat several times a day with a stranger from Canada, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbour all last year.
• Your daughter just bought a CD of all the records your college roommate used to play.
• You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
• Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
• You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
• Every commercial on television has a website address at the bottom of the screen.
• You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.
• The concept of using real money instead of credit or debit to make a purchase is foreign to you.
• Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
• Your idea of being organised is multi-coloured Post-it notes.
• You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
• You're reading this.

Wise Words to Start the New Year

• The early worm gets eaten!
• There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
• Never argue with a fool, people may not know the difference.
• Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
• You can't skip and be unhappy at the same time.
• I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

New Year Quotes

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve.
Old age is when you're forced to. 
Bill Vaughn

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man. Benjamin Franklin

I'm a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.
Robert Paul  

See more New Year quotes

New Year Humour - Topics

P.S. Please write to Will and Guy if you have any examples of key New Year questions.

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