Where's the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Will and Guy's Funny Thanksgiving Turkey Pictures

• Where's the Thanksgiving Turkey?
• Six Legged Turkey
• Thanksgiving Turkey
• The Turkey - A most difficult bird to cook
• Thanksgiving Turkey Competition 2007

1) Where's the Thanksgiving Turkey?

I know the wife bought a turkey.  But where on earth did she put the bird?

Perhaps the question should be - 'Who is the Thanksgiving Turkey?'

Whilst this funny Thanksgiving turkey picture works with either a caption of 'Christmas' or 'Thanksgiving'; it is not nearly so funny if you substitute 'chicken' for 'turkey'.

2) Six Legged Turkey

An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together. 'Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!' They all asked the farmer how it tasted.

'I don't know, 'said the farmer, 'I never could catch it!'

3) Thanksgiving Turkey

It was just before Thanksgiving in Asda and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.

In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said, 'Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

'No, madam, 'he replied, 'they're all dead.'

4) The Turkey - A most difficult bird to cook

Louise was away from home on Thanksgiving Day for the first time and she was missing her home and family desperately. Louise decided to cook a turkey herself, just like her Mum used to, so that she could feel closer to her family.

Louise returned home for the celebrations and recounted her experience to her Mum saying, 'Mum. it was so difficult to eat the turkey.'

'Why was that, dear' asked Mum in a concerned way, 'was it not cooked properly?'

'How would I know?' responded Louise, 'it wouldn't sit still.'

4a) How Louise's Thanksgiving should have looked:

See another Funny Thanksgiving Turkey Picture

5) Thanksgiving Turkey Competition 2007

A Minnesota man basted a 72-pound turkey to defeat his sister in their annual sibling rivalry over who can prepare the biggest Thanksgiving bird. Rich Portnoy roasted his enormous turkey in his 36-inch-wide, chef-calibre oven on Thanksgiving Day to top the biggest bird his sister had ever cooked by 25 pounds. Big turkeys are a tradition in the Portnoy family. Rich Portnoy said his father cooked birds of 30 pounds or more years ago. Last year, Andra Portnoy cooked a 47-pounder to take the lead after her brother could only find a 37-pounder, even though he lives in the nation's top turkey-producing state.

This year, Rich Portnoy approached the Minnesota Turkey Growers Association, which helped him find an 85-pound breeding tom that, at 59 weeks old, was near the end of its useful life. He bought the turkey for $30, [£58GBP] loaded the live bird into the back of the family's car and drove it to a processor, where it was made oven-ready at 72 pounds. Portnoy and his wife, Charlene, invited 26 people to Thursday's feast. They weren't sure the big old tom would be edible, so Portnoy also cooked a 19-pound ‘backup turkey’ on the backyard grill.

See more Thanksgiving jokes and funny pictures

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