Genius, they say, is next to madness. Never was this saying truer than with Spike Milligan.
What appeals to me about Spike Milligan's
style is imagination in creating surreal images. I cannot think of another comedian who produced such a stream of original material. Research almost any other comic's
material and you will find their ideas or routines belong to stars of a previous generation. Not so with Spike Milligan it's
all original humour often inspired from manic moments.
After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
I have
the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
I don't
mind dying. I just don't
want to be there when it happens.
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's
all in perfect working order.
∇
Spike Milligan and the Goons
One reason that Spike Milligan is revered by Englishmen of a certain age is that Radio was Spike's
best medium. As a boy back in the 1950's
radio was all we
had, there was no TV. In those days the goon show had us spellbound in a way that Harry Potter captivates the current generation. To tell the truth back then, I did not think of Spike Milligan but
only of the characters he brought to life: Eccles, Fred Fu Manchu, and
Bowser. Later I discovered that it was Peter Sellers who played Bloodnok, Bluebottle and Henry Crun, while Harry Secombe played Neddie Seagoon. Even later I discovered that other characters were
played by all manner of people; two of note were Michael Bentine and surprisingly, Ray Ellington.
Jokes from the Goon Show
Bloodnok:
I'll turn a deaf ear. Seagoon: I didn't
know you had a deaf ear. Bloodnok: Yes, I found it on the floor of a barber's
shop.
Seagoon: We've come to disconnect your phone. The Red Bladder: I haven't
got one. Seagoon: Don't
worry, We've brought one with us.
Seagoon: Any cases of frozen feet? Eccles: You didn't
order any cases of frozen feet!
Seagoon: For an hour we ran in French, which I ran fluently.
At a distance of 50 years, it's
hard to express how the goons buffoonery became a cult of the era. To give one example, with the nonsense song Ying tong Spike Milligan reached number 3 in the hit parade in September 1956.
As then, once you read the verse a few times you cannot get it out of your mind.
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, yiddle i
po, Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, yiddle i po. Yiiiing, tongy tongy tongy, yiddy diddy diddy da doh, ying diddy,
Ying tong diddle, yiddledy boo, Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle, ying tong yiddle i po, Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, yiddle i po, oh!
Remember in those days a half an hour
listening to the goons on the radio, followed by a kick-about with a ball in in the street and boys were happy with the simple pleasures of life.
~
Spike Milligan's
Irreverence
Comedians
are notorious for gently taking the Mickey out of politicians and any other dignitaries that they meet. Perhaps the incident which best sums up Spike
Milligan's
irreverence and ability to shock was when in 1994 he called the Prince of Wales, 'a grovelling little bastard'. However, while the phrase is widely quoted, it does require context. The Prince of
Wales had been a Goon fan since childhood, Spike Milligan and Prince Charles first met in 1969. The quip was in response to a letter that the Prince of Wales wrote congratulating Spike
on his lifetime comedy award. Nevertheless, it was a shocking thing to say live on stage.
The best measure of Spike Milligan's
genius was the number of people who imitated him. John Cleese and the
Monty Python gang freely admit that Spike inspired their sketches, Eddie Izzard called Spike Milligan the 'godfather of alternative comedy'.
More Spike Milligan Jokes
Spike Milligan: 'How are
you at Mathematics?'
. Harry Secombe: 'I speak it like a native'.
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
All men are cremated equal.
Apéritif:: French for a set of
dentures.
Sad Hamlet to Ophelia: 'I'll do a sketch of thee, what kind of pencil shall I use? 2B, or not 2B?'
I turned and rubbed my hands with glee. I always keep a tin of glee handy. (Kindly sent in by Suzanne B)
Spike: there's only one cure for seasickness Somebody: what's
that? Spike: climb a tree. (Kindly send in by Andy
Davies)
Selected Spike Milligan Credits
The Goon Show (Radio)
Q -
(1970's
TV Program)
Adolf Hitler - My Part in his Downfall (Book)
Puckoon - (Book then Film)
The Great McGonagall - (Film)
ф
Spike Milligan Epitaph - 'I told you I was ill'
On Spike's headstone at St Thomas' Church in Winchelsea, East Sussex, England
is his full name, Terence Alan Patrick Seán Milligan KBE. Unfortunately, the
church would not permit the phrase Spike requested for his headstone namely,
'I told you I was ill'. However, they did allow the sentiment expressed in
Gaelic, 'Duirt me leat go raibh me breoite', which translates to: 'I told you I
was ill'. Incidentally, Spike's request is often slightly misquoted to 'I
told you I was sick'.
Spike was born on 16 April 1918 and died at the age of 83 on 27 February
2002. On the subject of going to heaven he said: 'I'd like to go
there. But if Jeffrey Archer is there, I want to go to Lewisham.'
Spike Milligan Jokes and Quotes Sent by Readers
♪
Perry Gamsby reminded us of this great excerpt from the Goon Show
Eccles: 'Quick, hide behind this pane of glass!'
Seagoon: 'But you can see through it!'
Eccles: 'Not if you close your eyes!'
Seagoon: 'You're right!'
Footnote: Eccles was played by Spike himself, and Neddie Seagoon was played by
Harry Secombe
Mike Bowe sent us this excerpt from a famous UK chat show.
Parkinson: 'Spike Milligan, welcome to the show.'
Spike (Face like thunder) : 'I've got a complaint.'
Parkinson (Warily) : 'What is it?'
Spike: 'Leprosy.'
Funny Christmas Poem by Spike Milligan
I'm walking backwards for Christmas, Across the Irish Sea, I'm
walking backwards for Christmas, It's the only thing for me.
I've tried walking sideways, And walking to the front, But people
just look at me, And say it's a publicity stunt.
I'm walking backwards for Christmas, To prove that I love you.
An immigrant lad, loved an Irish colleen From Dublin Galway Bay. He
longed for her arms, But she spurned his charms, And sailed o'er the
foam away
She left the lad by himself, on his own All alone, a-sorrowing And
sadly he dreamed, or at least that's the way it seemed, buddy, That an
angel choir did sing - An angel choir did sing.
I'm walking backwards for Christmas, Across the Irish Sea. I'm
walking backwards for Christmas, It's the finest thing for me.
And so I've tried walking sideways, And walking to the front. But
people just laughed, and said, "It's a publicity stunt".
So I'm walking backwards for Christmas To prove that I love you.
If I could write words Like leaves on an autumn forest floor, What
a bonfire my letters would make. If I could speak words of water, You
would drown when I said "I love you."
Footnote: Please write to Will and Guy if you have any good Spike Milligan jokes, quotes or Goons one-liners.
For example: "Chopsticks are the main reason the Chinese didn't invent
custard." Debbie Reboin
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