Ricky, a customer, visits PC Express, the computer store, 'I'm looking
for a mystery adventure game with lots of graphics; you know, something
really challenging.'
'Well,' replies the shop assistant, 'Have you tried Windows Vista?'
'Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things
they make it easier to do don't
need to be done.'
Andy Rooney
Advisor: 'Press any key to continue.
Customer: I can't find the 'Any' key.
Tech Support: 'Have you made backups of your
software and data?' Customer: 'I didn't know it had
a reverse.'
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire
to become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he replied, 'I want to write stuff that the
whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional
level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!'
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Secret
While my next door neighbour, Ian, was tapping away on his home computer,
his seven year old son, Nathan, sneaked up behind him.
Then Nathan turned and ran downstairs into the kitchen, bellowing to the
rest of the family, 'I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!
''What is it?' Mia, his elder sister asked gently but eagerly.
When he was at Queen's University, Belfast, Northern Ireland, Kevin
took a part time job as a computer technician dealing with most problems by
telephone. One day he received a call.
The caller told Kevin that her computer was not working. She described
the problem and he concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and
serviced.
Kevin told her to unplug the power cord and bring it to him in the office
and he would fix it.
About fifteen minutes later she showed up at Kevin's door with the power
cord in her hand.
These are sneaky computer jokes that techies with too much time on their
hands play on their co-workers, typically on April Fool's Day.
Tape over the optical sensor of your friend's mouse.
Variation of this idea. Unplug the original mouse. Plug
in a fake mouse. When they check the connection it seems to be
working. One from Dr Devious.
Alter someone's Word Autocorrect. Launch Word for Windows.
Find 'Proofing settings'. Make changes to AutoCorrect, e.g.
a to
ye. I to you.
On someone else's machine press set High Contrast mode Press:
Shift + ALT + PrintScreen. Note 1: You need
Shift and not Ctrl. Also use the Left Alt and not the right. Note 2: To Undo press the same combination: Shift + ALT
+ Printscreen. Note 3: Learn from this madness by
checking out the Ease of access settings in Control Panel.
Variation, turn on Narrator and drive the computer user mad.
Control Panel --> Ease of access.
You could edit the host file entry to direct google.com to a different site.
[You need some technical expertise to edit:
C: \Windows\System32\drivers\etc ]
Cuckcoo
clock - Install this computer joke application.
Footnote: Please write to Will and Guy if you have any funny
computer on-liners.
If you like this page then please share it with your friends
See more short computer jokes, clean videos and funny pictures
Get a clean joke delivered to your inbox every
day, no strings attached, just part of our service. Free
subscription to
our Funny Joke of the Day email.
We have over 1,500 pages of funny pictures, clean jokes, stories and amusing videos. Please use the Search below to find a topic of particular interest:
Thought of the Day Subscription
Our offer is to email you an inspirational
'Thought of the day'. Your subscription is completely free of cost and there
are no adverts. Sign up for our 'Thought of
the Day'.
