Funny Support Calls - Tech Support Jokes

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Will and Guy's Collection of Funny Support Calls

We have collected the funniest calls to computer tech support departments at Dell BT and HP.

• Actual calls to computer technical support reps
• Best 10 Tech support jokes
• Another batch of funny support calls 

Actual Calls to computer technical support reps:

Get the right computer - 1

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?

Tech support: OK, You've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....

Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....

Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

Get the right computer - 2

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one...

Change of Mind

Customer: I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don't want my wife to think that it's me.'
Advisor: 'I will remove them for you.'

Customer: 'How do I get them back when she is not in?'

Step 1...

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it into the computer yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

Seeing Stars

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars. 

Touch and Go

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Circular argument

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

Local difficulty

Customer: My 14 year-old son has put a password on my computer and I can't get in.
Advisor: Has he forgotten it?
Customer: No he just won't tell me it because I've grounded him.

Language difficulty

Customer: 'How do you spell 'Internet America' ? Is there a space between 'inter' and 'net' ?'
Tech Support: 'No space between 'inter' and 'net' . It's spelled normally.'

Customer: 'Ok. A-M-E-R-I-C-K?' Tech Support: 'That's A-M-E-R-I-C-A.' Customer: 'I-C-K???'
Tech Support: 'A as in apple' Customer: 'There's no 'K' in apple!'

No comment

Customer: I met a man on the internet, can you give me his phone number?

Will and Guy's - Tech Support Jokes

We have selected the best ten Tech Support Jokes.  They were take by advisors at BT, HP and Dell.

1) Customer: 'My disk ran out of space when trying to save my Word document, so I changed it from double spaced to single spaced and it still wouldn't fit!'

2) Advisor: 'Press any key to continue.
Customer: I can't find the 'Any' key.

3) Great Vision
3a) Tech Support: 'Ok, in the bottom left of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'

3b) Advisor: Can you click on 'My Computer'?
Customer: I don't have your computer, just mine.

3c) Advisor: You have Spyware on your machine which is causing the problem.
Customer: Spyware? Can they see me getting dressed through the monitor?

3d) Customer: My family in Australia use BT Softphone, I can see them but they can't see me.
Advisor: What brand is your webcam?
Customer: What's a webcam?

4) No Saving Grace
Customer: 'All my files I saved last week to my C: drive are missing!'
Tech Support: 'Do you remember what directory you first saved them in?'

Customer: 'No, I don't . I just know it was on my C: drive.'
Tech Support: 'Ok, I'll walk you through how to find the files.'

Customer: 'I wouldn't think I would be losing files on this computer. Gee, I just had the hard drive replaced in it yesterday.'

5) Tricky Install
Customer: 'Do I need a computer to use your software?'
Tech Support: 'Ok, I can help you install the software. Would you like me to do that?'
Customer: 'Yes.'

Tech Support: 'All right, can you insert the disk in the disk drive please?'
Customer: 'How?'

Tech Support: 'Place the disk in the opening at the front of the computer.'
Customer: 'Will I have to have my computer delivered before we can do this'

Tech Support: 'Um yes, that might be an idea.'

6) Customer: My iPod will only play one song.
Advisor: Which other tracks have you downloaded from iTunes?
Customer: Do I need to download tracks?

7) Tech Support: 'Have you made backups of your software and data?'
Customer: 'I didn't know it had a reverse.'

8) Customer: How do I change channel on my monitor?
Advisor: Your monitor won't have channels like a TV.
Customer: But I was watching the internet channel the other day and now I just get the word processing channel.

9) Customer: My mouse mat isn't wired up.
Advisor: I'm not sure I understand, your mouse mat shouldn't have any wires.
Customer: Well how does it know where my mouse is? Is it wireless?

Another Batch of Funny Support Calls

Give Microsoft a chance

Customer: 'I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word.'

Tech Support: 'Tell me what You've done.'
Customer: 'I typed A:SETUP.'

Tech Support: 'Ma' am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.'
Customer: 'It says [PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'.

Tech Support: 'Insert the MS Word setup disk.' 
Customer: 'What?'

Tech Support: 'Did you buy Microsoft Word?'
Customer: 'No...'

Dial Tone

Tech Support: 'Thank you for calling. May I have your phone number beginning with area code first, please?' There was a pregnant pause, then a series of touch tones.

Tech Support: 'Hello? I need your phone number, please'. More touch tones.

Tech Support: 'Hi, can you hear me?'
Customer: 'Yes.'

Tech Support: 'Great, then can you please tell me your phone number so I can pull up your file?' More touch tones.

Tech Support: 'Sir, what's your name?'
Customer: Malcolm

Tech Support: 'Great, now can you tell me your phone number?' Touch tones again.

Tech Support: 'Please, tell me your phone number.'
Customer: 'Again?'

Tech Support: 'Yes sir, if you don't mind, but can you please just tell me verbally?' Touch tones yet again.

Tech Support: 'Sir, contrary to popular opinion, support is not half machine. I'll need you to verbally tell me your phone number with your mouth so I can bring up your account info, got it?'
Customer: 'You people are rude as well as incompetent.'

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