Computer Virus Jokes

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Will and Guy's Computer Virus Jokes

Ronald Reagan Virus: - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson Virus: Quits after two bytes. Spits everything out.

Oprah Winfrey Virus: Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.

Titanic Virus: Your computer goes down while Celine Deon sings My Love Will Go On

Disney Virus: Everything in your computer gets Goofy.

Prozac Virus: Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: Terminates zome viles, leaves, but it vill be baaack.

Stephen Hawking on Computer Viruses

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.

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Unrelated Snippets:

1) A Friend: 'Does my computer hard drive get heavier when I put more data on it?'

2) As yet, no-one can explain to my satisfaction, why left to its own devices, my $1,000 computer regularly loses nearly a minute every week. Especially when my 10 year old, $5, 'Mickey Mouse' watch keeps perfect time.

Computer Mating

Question: What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant?

Answer: A 1000 lb know-it-all.

What People Say About Computers:

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Andy Rooney
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up. James Magary
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. Isaac Asimov
The computer is a moron. Peter Drucker
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers. Edward Shepherd Mead

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Free Computer Virus - 409 Takers

HELSINKI (Reuters) - Computer specialist Didier Stevens put up a simple text advertisement on the Internet offering downloads of a computer virus for people who did not have any. Surprisingly, he found as many as 409 people clicking on the ad saying "Is your PC virus-free? Get it infected here!" during a 6-month advertising campaign on Google's Adword, said the IT security expert.

"Some of them must have clicked on it by mistake. Some must have been curious or stupid," said Mikko Hypponen, head of research at data security firm F-Secure.

There was no virus involved, it was an experiment aiming to show these kind of advertising systems can be used for malicious intent, Stevens told Reuters.

P.S. Please send us your Computer Virus Jokes

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