Will and Guy's Computer Jokes

Will and Guy's Computer Jokes

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. Farmers' Almanac

• 10 Laws of Computing
• Bad Day At The Office
• Bad Day with a Printer
• Coffee with your computer?
• Computer Error Messages
• Computer Husband
• Computer Gender
• Computer Career
• Computers and Relationships
• Computer and the Ostrich
• Computer Animations
• Computer Jokes
• Computer Strangler
• Computer Virus Jokes
• Employee of the Month
• Funny File Extensions
• Funny Support Calls
• Internet Explorer 7
• New uses for a Mouse
• The Computer Fight
• They said that I couldn't break it
• Urban Myth =rand(200,99)
• Vista Jokes
• Vista Error Codes
• Why did the Computer Chicken Cross the Road?
• Windows - I don't do Windows

Here is a selection of our Computer Jokes:

Signs that You've had TOO MUCH Computing

You try to enter your password on the microwave.

Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident.

Computing - A different Language

George landed his first computer programming position and he was thrilled. His father, Colin, although a stranger to the field, shared George's enthusiasm and welcomed him at the door when he arrived home after his first day, inquiring, 'What did you do at work today?' He listened intently while George explained in great detail his eight hours of COBOL, binary code and JCL errors.

When George arrived home the following night, once again his father, Colin, was waiting at the front door.' So, 'he greeted George, 'what did you have for lunch today?'

Computer Quotes

'There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home.' Ken Olsen. Head of the Digital Equipment Company now part of Compaq in 1977.

(The above is often erroneously attributed to Bill Gates; whereas no one can believe that the quote below would be said by Bill Gates.)

'Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.'  Bill Gates

True Computer Tech Support Calls

1) Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.  Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

2) Tech Support: 'Ok, in the bottom left of the screen, can you see the ' OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'

3) Advisor: You have Spyware on your machine which is causing the problem.
Customer: Spyware? Can they see me getting dressed through the monitor?

New Vista Help Messages

• Vista object doesn't support this property or method. Close your eyes and press escape three times.
• Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
• User Error: Replace user.
• No network provider accepted the given network path.  In plain English, we have not got a clue what's wrong.

Another Bad Day at the Office

One more Computer Joke

What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant?

A 1000 lb know-it-all.

Please send us your favourite Computer Jokes

See more good jokes and funny pictures:

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