Not Working Normal people believe that if it isn't broke, then don't fix it.
Programmers believe that if it isn't broke, then it doesn't have enough
features.
Computing - A different Language
George landed his first computer programming position and he was thrilled. His father, Colin, although a stranger to
the field, shared George's
enthusiasm and welcomed him at the door when he arrived home after his first day, inquiring, 'What did you do at work today?'
He listened intently while George explained in great
detail his eight hours of COBOL, binary code and JCL errors.
When George arrived home the following night, once again his father, Colin, was waiting at the front door.'
So, 'he greeted George, 'what did you
have for lunch today?'
Signs that You've had TOO MUCH Computing
You try to enter your password on the microwave.
Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident.
Computer Quotes
'There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home.'
Ken Olsen. Head of the Digital Equipment Company now part of Compaq in 1977.
(The above is
often erroneously attributed to Bill Gates; whereas no one can believe that the quote below would be said by Bill Gates.)
'Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.' Bill Gates
♦
True
Computer Tech Support Calls
1) Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars. Customer: I have
a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
2) Tech Support: 'Ok, in the bottom left of the screen, can you see the '
OK'
button displayed?' Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
3) Advisor: You have Spyware on your machine which is causing the problem.
Customer: Spyware? Can they see me getting dressed through the monitor?
®
New Vista Help Messages
Vista object doesn't support this property or method. Close your eyes and press escape three times.
Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
User Error: Replace user.
No network provider accepted the given network path. In plain English, we have not got a clue what's wrong.
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Guy
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