°
Loading

Will and Guy's Jokes - Credits
 Ξ

Humour is infectious.  People love telling jokes and passing on funny pictures to their friends.  Will and Guy have been fortunate in having people send us yarns, gags, amusing photos, PowerPoint presentations and even video clips.

Here are the people who Will and Guy would like to thank for helping us fill our joke, picture, story, video and test sections.  After all, this spirit of co-operation was how and why the internet started.

Thanks to each of you for contributing to our jokes and funny pictures

  • Hannah Baker

  • Sally Taylor

  • Jenny Darby

  • John Franklin

  • Maureen Franklin

  • Pauline Thomas

  • Alicia Moss

  • Pam Ingram

  • Rev Fr John HG Lewis

  • Martin Williams

  • Mike James

  • Alan Turnham

  • Jason Boyd

  • Kerry Jones

  • James McGregor

  • Scott G.

  • Wanda Sager

  • Debbie Sto

  • Ann Clare

  • George Hammond

  • Yvette Hammond

  • Amos Collins

  • Tom Fairnie

  • Robert B Hager

  • Jessica Waylett

  • Sara Arthur

  • Ken Green

  • Jason Stevenson

  • Kerphas Gyamphi

  • Alan Thomas

  • Pauline Henderson

  • Jake

  • Nancy Hoagland

  • Louisa-Jayne

  • Patrick Fowler

  • Grant Semmens

  • Glenn Brown

  • Steve Phillips

  • Jeff Malyon

  • Ian Stevens

  • Alex Skinger

  • John Painter

  • Kerry Miljojkovic

  • Sharon Gould

  • John Morris

  • David Jenkins

  • Chuck and Royd

  • Paul & Jane

  • Roberta

  • Anna

  • Daniel England

  • Ken Sandford

  • Richard Kenderdine

  • Dee Frost

  • Neville Cresdee

  • Randy Trobaugh

  • Chris Robinson

  • Cheryl Lohr

  • Shirley Willis

  • Chris Hills

  • Lora Chacon

  • John Reeves

  • Bernd Schuetz

  • Brian Mansell

  • Arthur Burley

  • Andrea Greenwood

  • Danny Lattouf

  • Fritz Steinkuhl

  • Kati Keys

  • Bob Maddon

  • Kerry Miljojkovic

  • Wisconsinittes (Cindy)

  • Jerry Simpson

  • Jon Puckley

  • Jonathan Tondee

  • Suzanne Brenzi

  • Margaret McVey

  • Johnny

  • Krin Parker

  • Geoff Foster

  • Gary Kelly

  • Jan Crocker

  • Joe Muise

  • Maggie Nutt

  • Annick Morris

  • Sarah Cowling

  • Dave Sharpe

  • Maureen Maloret

  • Trevor Warland

  • Chris Maloret

 Will and Guy's Collection of Funny Quips, Bon Mots and Wit

  • Our friend Eddie has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, Eddie takes something for it.
  • I stayed up all night playing Texas Hold'em with a deck of tarot cards.  I got a royal flush and five people died.
  • His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
    Mae West
  • I spilled 'Spot' remover on my dog.  Now he's disappeared.
  • Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died.
  • Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool like Jackson.
  • Don't wish ill for your enemy, plan it.
    Syrus, Maxims
  • Guy just got lost in thought.  He found it unfamiliar territory.

 

Next more Witticisms

¢

Example of Reader's Joke

Driving Joke

A teenage boy called Joel had just passed his driving test and asked Dad when they could discuss his use of the car.

Dad said 'Ill make a deal with you Joel, You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car."

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, "Joel, you've brought your grades up and I've seen that you have been studying your Bible. But I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut."

"You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my Bible studies that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair."

"Joel, did you also notice all those people walked everywhere they went?"

 

Footnote:
Joke kindly sent in by Ken Green.

O'Shaughnessy Needs Time Off - Irish Humour at its Best

Soon after O'Shaughnessy clocked in for work, the foreman called him over and told him that he had a phone call in the front office.

When O'Shaughnessy returned, he had a mournful expression on his face and his head hung low. His foreman noticed and asked if it was bad news.' To be shure it was, Boss, 'he replied, 'I just found out from Ireland that my mother died earlier this morning.'

'Gosh, that's awful, 'replied the foreman, 'Do you want the rest of the day off?'
'No, 'replied O'Shaughnessy. ' I'll finish the day out.'

About an hour later, the foreman returned to inform him that there was another phone call for him in the office. This time when O'Shaughnessy returned he looked twice as glum, and the foreman asked if everything was alright.

'Bejeezuz Boss, its even worse news. That was my brother, and his mother died today too!' Funny lawn mower picture

Hilarious Irish Joke

At the Cheltenham jumps racing festival last March, Murphy leaned over and whispered to his fiend Seamus, 'Now would you be wanting the winner of the next race?'

'Oh, no thanks, Murphy,' uttered Seamus, 'I've only got a small garden.'

Kurt H. wrote:

I was flying Southwest Airlines one day back in August and the flight attendant was giving the safety speech and said, "The button over your head with the picture of a light bulb on it turns on your light, the button with the picture of the flight attendant does NOT turn on your flight attendant so DON'T PUSH IT!"