Only in Britain - British Logic

Will and Guy's Humour - British Logic

Here is a game of humour with two halves.  Only in Britain and Medical Definitions.

1) Only in Britain

Only in Britain...are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only in Britain...do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in Britain...do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and put our junk in the garage.

Only in Britain...do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight.

Only in Britain...do Supermarkets make the sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process of Government. 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures.'

2) Open Door Policy

In Britain we have an open door policy:

Time for a change of joke.  Let us exercise different sense of humour cells

3) Medical definitions that you won't find in the dictionary

• Artery = The study of paintings.
• Benign = What you be after you be eight.
• Bacteria = Back door to cafeteria.
• Caesarean Section = A neighbourhood in Rome.
• Ctscan = Searching for kitty.
• Cauterise = Made eye contact with her.
• Coma = A punctuation mark.
• Dilate = To live long.
• Enema = Not a friend.
• Fibula = A small lie.
• Genital = Non-Jewish person.
• Impotent = Distinguished, well known.
• Labour Pain = Getting hurt at work.
• Morbid = A higher offer than I bid.
• Nitrates = Cheaper than day rates.
• Node = I knew it.
• Outpatient = A person who has fainted.
• Pelvis = Second cousin to Elvis.
• Post Operative = A letter carrier.
• Recovery Room = Place to do upholstery.
• Rectum = Very nearly killed him.
• Secretion = Hiding something.
• Seizure = Roman emperor.
• Tablet = A small table.
• Terminal Illness = Getting sick at the airport.
• Tumour = More than one.
• Urine = Opposite of you're out.
• Varicose = Near by/close by.

Footnote:
Please send us your 'Only in Britain' jokes.

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