Chicken Jokes

Will and Guy's Humour - Chicken Jokes

• One Wednesday, a husband took his wife to the doctor
• Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
• Why did the Computer Chicken Cross the Road?

One Wednesday, a husband took his wife to the doctor

'Oh, doctor', he said, 'my wife thinks she's a chicken'. The doctor gasped, 'That's terrible. How long has she been like that?'

The husband replied, 'Three years'. The doctor was horrified, 'Three years! Why didn't you bring her to me sooner?'

The husband said sheepishly, 'Because we needed the eggs.'

A new twist on the eternal chicken joke:
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Why did the Computer Chicken Cross the Road?

• Assembler Chicken: First, it builds the road .…..

• C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.

• C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you' d simply refer to him on the other side.

• COBOL Chicken: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
     IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
          THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
          VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
          ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
      ELSE
      GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

• Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.

• Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

• Gopher Chicken: Tried to run but got beaten by the Web chicken.

• Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.

• Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have ' backed up' before crossing.

• Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.)

• Linux Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

• Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it how to cross the road.

• Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.

• OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

• OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

• Microsoft's Chicken: It's already on both sides of the road. What's more its just bought the road.

  ®

• Windows 95 Chicken: You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but when you cook it still tastes like........ chicken.

• Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

• VB Chicken: USHighways! <TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)

• XP Chicken Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

• The Longhorn Chicken had an identity crisis and is now calling itself Vista.

• The Vista Chicken dazzled itself with its own graphics.

• The Vesta Chicken was eaten by my old friend 'Mad Mick'

Please send us your version of the Computer Chicken crossing the road

See our funny Christmas turkey

See more chicken stories:

●  Strange Home   ● Chickens Block Road   ● Chicken Crosses Road   ● Rooster   ● Turkey Video

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