Out of the Mouths of Children

Will and Guy's Humour - Out of the Mouths of Children

Selection of jokes and short stories, 'Out of the mouths of children'

• A little girl said to her mother
• Out of the mouths
• Newspaper boy
• Pupil Problem?
• Old Goat?
• A frugal little girl
• Watch your Grammar

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother:

'Mummy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.'

The mother exclaimed, 'But that's terrible. I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?'

The little girl replied, 'My homework.'

Out of the mouths............:

Mother: 'Why are you home from school so early?'  Son: 'I was the only one who could answer a question.'

Mother: 'Oh, really? What was the question?'
Son: 'Who threw the blackboard duster at the teacher?'

Newspaper boy:

A newspaper boy was standing on the corner with a large pile of papers, shouting, 'Read all about it. Twenty five people cheated. Twenty five people cheated.'

Intrigued, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. What he saw was yesterday's paper. The man said, 'Hey, this is an old paper, where's the story about the big swindle?' The newspaper boy ignored him and went on yelling out, 'Read all about it. Twenty six people cheated.'

Pupil Problem?

An educational psychologist is asked to see a pupil who draws all his pictures with black and brown crayons. He talks to him.  Nothing obvious.  He gives him projective tests.  Nothing shows up.

Finally, in desperation, he gives him some paper and a box of crayons.

'Oh goody, 'says the boy, 'I get an old box of crayons in school and only the black and brown were left.'

Old Goat? Another funny story out of the mouths of children

The young couple invited their aged Vicar for Sunday lunch. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son, what they were having.

'Goat, 'the little boy replied.

'Goat?' replied the startled man of the cloth, 'Are you sure about that?'

'Yep', said the youngster. 'I definitely heard Dad say to Mum, we might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'

A frugal little girl

Jemima's Year 6 homework task was to make sentences using the words in her spelling list, along with the definition. Coming across the word "frugal" in the list, she asked her father what it meant. He explained that being frugal meant you saved something.

Jemima's paper read, 'Frugal: to save.' Sentence: 'Little Red Riding Hood fell into a hole when she was walking in the woods so she yelled for someone to come get her out. She cried, 'Frugal me, Frugal me!'

Watch your Grammar

A little girl opened the door to her teacher.
'Are your parents in?' asked the teacher.

'They was in', said the little girl, 'but they is out now.'
'They WAS in! They IS out!' exclaimed the teacher, 'Where's your grammar?'

'Oh, she's in the front room watching the telly.'

Oscar Wilde
I am not young enough to know everything.   See more of Oscar Wilde's Quotes

See more: 'Out of the mouths of babes' ....

● Out of mouths of babes   ● Child's sayings   ● Children's mouth   ● Out of mouths   ● Home

● Children's jokes   ● Naughty kids video   ● Children's mischief

Joke of the day Get a clean joke delivered to your inbox every day, no strings attached, just part of our free service.  Subscribe to Will and Guy's Joke of the Day. We have over 1,000 pages of funny pictures, clean jokes, stories and amusing videos.  Please use the Search below to find a topic of particular interest:	Jokes for mobile phones / cell phones Will and Guy now have clean jokes and funny pictures formatted for 'mobi' or cell phones.  Discover more about our 'mobi' sub-site If you enter the following uri into your mobile or cell phone, then you can view Will and Guy's site on your handset:  http://guy-sports.com/mobi/
Web Search this site for jokes Email Guy and send your joke or funny picture to:   ● Home    ● Latest Pages