Dumb Contestant Jokes

Will and Guy's good Clean Fun - Dumb Contestant Jokes

• Anne Robinson - Weakest Link
• Family Fortunes with Les Dennis
• More Dumb Contestant Jokes
• Game Show Gaffes
• Dumb Questions Asked on the TV and Radio
• Phil Wood Show
• Who killed Cock Robin?
• Posh and Becks - The Replay

Anne Robinson - Weakest Link

Anne Robinson: Which Indian leader, whose last name began with 'G' took the title Mahatma?
Contestant: Geronimo  (Correct Answer)

Anne Robinson: Which of the Marx Brothers remained silent throughout the movies?
Contestant: Karl  (Correct Answer)

Anne Robinson: Who was the only prisoner of Spandau Prison between 1966 and 1987?
Contestant: The Birdman of Alcatraz.  (Correct Answer)

Family Fortunes with Les Dennis

• Name a bird with a long Neck?  Naomi Campbell
• Name a type of fork not used for eating.  Guy Fawkes.
• Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
• Where is the Taj Mahal?  Opposite the Dental Hospital
• What is Hitler's first name?  Heil
• Some famous brothers?  Bonnie and Clyde.
• A famous Royal?  Mail
• A sign of the Zodiac?  April
• Something you do before you go to bed?  Sleep
• Something you put on walls?  A roof
• Something slippery?  A conman
• A kind of ache?  A fillet of fish

Chris Searle, BBC Bristol - More Dumb Contestant Jokes

Chris Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Contestant: Japan

Chris Searle: In case you did not hear me say European, I can let you try again.
Contestant: Mexico?  (Correct Answer)

Game Show Gaffes

• UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
  Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?
  Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?
• THE WEAKEST LINK
  Anne Robinson: In traffic, what ' J' is where two roads meet?
  Contestant: Jool carriageway.
• Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
  Contestant: Bombay.
• Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
  Contestant: Crocodiles.
• Anne Robinson: In olden times,! what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
  Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
• NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
  Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
  Contestant: William Shakespeare.
• BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
  Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
  Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

Funny, Hilarious and Dumb Questions asked on the TV and Radio

1. Jon Snow: In a sense, Deng Xiaoping’s death was inevitable, wasn’t it?
   Expert: Er, yes. [UK. Channel 4 News]
2. Beethoven, Kurtag, Charles Ives, Debussy - four very different names. - Presenter, BBC Proms, Radio 3
3. Cystitis is a living death, it really is. Nobody ever talks about it, but if I was faced with a choice between having my arms removed and getting cystitis, I’d wave goodbye to my arms quite happily. - Louise Wener in Q Magazine
4. Listener: My most embarrassing moment was when my artificial leg fell off at the altar on my wedding day.
   Simon Fanshawe: How awful! Do you still have an artificial leg? – UK. Talk Radio
5. Interviewer: So did you see which train crashed into which train first?
   15-year-old: No, they both ran into each other at the same time. - BBC Radio 4 News
6. Presenter [to palaeontologist]: So what would happen if you mated the woolly mammoth with, say, an elephant?
   Expert: Well in the same way that a horse and a donkey produce a mule, we’d get a sort of half-mammoth.
   
   Presenter: So it'd be like some sort of hairy gorilla?
   Expert: Er, well yes, but elephant shaped, and with tusks.

From the Phil Wood Show on local BBC radio:

Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er . . .
Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha,ha,ha,ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
Contestant: [Silence]
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant: Walked?

Who killed Cock Robin?

Presenter: Who killed Cock Robin
Contestant: I did not know that he was dead.

Full poem as sung by my mother:

'Who killed Cock Robin?'

I, 'said the Sparrow, 'With my bow and arrow, I killed Cock Robin.'
Who saw him die? 'I' said the Fly, 'With my little eye, I saw him die.'
Who caught his blood? 'I' said the Fish, 'With my little dish, I caught his blood.' Who'll make the shroud? 'I' said the Beetle, 'With my thread and needle, I'll make the shroud.'
Who'll dig his grave? 'I' said the Owl, 'With my pick and shovel, I'll dig his grave.'
Who'll be the parson? 'I' said the Rook, 'With my little book, I'll be the parson.'
Who'll be the clerk? 'I' said the Lark, 'If it's not in the dark, I'll be the clerk.'
Who'll carry the link? 'I' said the Linnet, 'I'll fetch it in a minute, I'll carry the link.'
Who'll be chief mourner? 'I' said the Dove, 'I mourn for my love, I'll be chief mourner.'
Who'll carry the coffin? 'I' said the Kite, 'If it's not through the night, I'll carry the coffin.'
Who'll bear the pall?' We, 'said the Wren, 'Both the cock and the hen, we'll bear the pall.'
Who'll sing a psalm? 'I' said the Thrush, 'As she sat on a bush, I'll sing a psalm.'
Who'll toll the bell? 'I' said the bull, 'Because I can pull, I'll toll the bell.'
All the birds of the air fell a-sighing and a-sobbing,
When they heard the bell toll for poor Cock Robin.

Posh and Becks - The Replay

Posh Spice and David Beckham are sitting in front of the Television watching the six O' clock news. The headline feature is a man who is threatening to jump off the Clifton Suspension Bridge onto the busy A4 below.

Posh turns to Beckham and says ' Dave, I bet you £5000 that he jumps.'

He replies ' £5000! Done.'

The pair shake on it and continue watching the commotion on the TV, sure enough, the man jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud.

Beckham takes £5000 out of his pocket and gives it to Posh.

'I can't take that from you Dave' she says. I was cheating. I saw the Five O' clock News earlier so I Knew what was going to happen. I can't accept that money.'

Beckham replies, 'No Babe'.

The money is yours fair and square. I was cheating too. I just didn't think he would do it again.'

Footnote:
Please send us your dumb contestant jokes

Take another funny test:

● List of Funny Tests  ● Dementia   ● Culprit   ● Easy   ● Psychic   ● Cool optical illusions   ● For Drunks

● Genuine know-all test   ● Mensa   ● Footballers Exam   ● Dumb contestant jokes   ● Reading test

● Lateral thinking   ● More lateral thinking   ● Lateral questions   ● River Crossing   ● Puzzle  ● Home