Will and Guy lament the demise of the milkman; it
seems now that everyone get their milk from the supermarket, thus fewer and
fewer milk floats and milkmen. Inevitably this means that source of fresh
milkman jokes is drying up fast. Meanwhile, enjoy these funny notes left
for the milkman:
My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle?
Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a
baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.
From
now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't
want any milk.
Cancel one pint after the day after today.
My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight.
Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday.
When
you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. P.S. Don't
leave any milk.
No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until
further notice.
A 'souped-up' milk float is to be used in an attempt to smash a land speed record to become the fastest milk float in the west. The 'Electric Blue' has been specially adapted with an extra motor fitted, it
has a fin on its roof, to combat turbulence, and has its suspension lowered for the attempt. And owner Kevin Bourne hopes to beat the current record of 71.4mph next year, reports the Metro newspaper.
'Everyone has a stock impression of milk floats travelling at 10mph, so you don't expect to see one accelerate to 80mph,'commented Mr Bourne.
This vehicle has been on display at the Museum of Science and
Industry in Manchester, UK.
ф
Another Classic Funny Milkman Joke
Joanne read in Vogue magazine that a milk bath does wonders for your
skin. So she wrote a note asking the milkman to leave 100 bottles of
milk for her next delivery.
Eddie, the milkman, saw the note, and thought there must be an error in
the number of zeros. Therefore he knocked on the door and asked
Joanne, to clarify the order. Joanne confirmed that she wants 100
bottles to fill her bath. The milkman then asked, 'Do you want
it pasteurized' Joanne replied 'No, just up to my neck'.
Footnote: Please send us your funny milkman jokes
and notes left in bottles.
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