Out of the Mouths of Babes

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.  Oscar Wilde

• Funny comments: Out of the mouths of babes
• Out of the Mouths of Children - Funny Sign 
• One way to explain the word marriage to a child:  

Funny comments: 'Out of the mouths of babes'

Cream loses its magic
Little Michael watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.' Why do you do that, Mummy?' he asked

'To make myself beautiful', said his mother who then began removing the cream with a tissue

'What's the matter?' asked little Michael, 'Giving up?'

Charity Begins at Church
After the church service, seven year old Brian said to the preacher: 'When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money.'

'Well, thank you', the preacher replied, 'but why?'

'Because my daddy says that you're one of the poorest preachers We've ever had.'

The Chase
Nicola, eight years old, told her parents that David Parsons had kissed her after lessons.  'How did that happen?' asked her mother.' It wasn't easy, 'admitted the young lady, 'but three girls helped me catch him.'

Repeat after Me
Mrs Johnson invited some people over for supper. At the table, she turned to their seven year old daughter Martha and said, 'Would you like to say the blessing?'

'I wouldn't know what to say, 'Martha replied.' Just say what you hear Mummy say, 'Mrs Johnson answered

Martha bowed her head and said, 'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'

Fig Leaves
Bobby, nine, opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.

'Hey, Mum, look what I've found!' Bobby called out.' What have you got there, dear?' his mother asked. Astonishment written all over his face, he answered: 'I think it's Adam's suit!'

Road Hog
One day I was driving with my five year old daughter and I honked my car horn by mistake.
Alice turned and looked at me for an explanation.
I said, 'I did that by accident'. Alice replied, 'I know that, Daddy'. I replied, 'How did you know?' She said, 'Because you didn't say 'IDIOT' afterwards'

Home Alone
Our new neighbour asked the Hannah, aged 4 and who lived next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, 'No, I'm the lonely child.'

Out of the Mouths of Children?

'Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.'
Phyllis Diller.

One way to explain the word marriage to a child:

Claire was a typical three year old: pretty, friendly, cute, inquisitive, and bright as a sixpence. However, one day, Claire showed some difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage. Robert, her father, thought the best way to teach her was to show her his wedding photo album believing that visual images would help Claire's understanding.

One page after another, he pointed out photographs of the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the actual wedding ceremony, the signing of the licence and the reception afterwards.

'Now do you understand, darling?' Robert enquired smiling.
'I think so,' responded Claire dutifully, 'and is that when mummy came to work for us?'   Out of the mouths ....

Footnote:
Please send us your Out of the Mouths of Babes utterings.

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