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Welsh Humour |
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Welsh HumourNow that Anthony Hopkins and Catherine Zeta-Jones have become established in Hollywood, the Welsh film industry is to receive additional funding to step up production. News sent in by Mike James. Hollywood are going to remake many well known films, but this time with a Welsh flavour. The following are planned for release next year:
∇Hollywood Remakes of Welsh Films
ΔCinema-goers - Urban MythA family of 6 have been found frozen to death outside the Cardiff Odeon in Queens Street. It seems that they had been queuing for two days hoping to see "Closed for the winter" Extra Welsh Film Titles from Kerry Jones
Please contact the Welsh Assembly for actual dates of release and for literal translations where needed. Films that did not make the 'A' list
Everybody tells jokes, but we still need comedians. ºReal Welsh Comedians or Comic Actors
Dialects Welsh and EbonicsConcern of Dialects is growing. Basically people want to preserve them. Here are three arbitrary concerns. In the United Kingdom Cornish has died out as a spoken language. There are proposals to teach the Norfolk dialect in Schools. The Scots bemoan the loss of many of their idiosyncrasies. Even standard English has huge potential for puns, jokes and play's upon words. However when you add dialects the fun multiplies. The danger is that people will be offended, so to show we have no malice, I will start with poking fun at my fellow countrymen - the Welsh. WelshIf you listen to the Welsh language, then you realise it's a sing song and lyrical language, unafraid to add extra words, and this explains some of the idiosyncrasies when Welshmen and Welsh women speak English. Do The Welsh have a strange use of the verb 'do'. It is gratuitously inserted into sentences. For example; He do go to the chapel. The best translation of 'do' in the above sentence is 'went' meaning the past tense, however the charm of this simple verb 'do', is that it could equally well mean the future tense. A further point any Welshman speaking this sentence would drop the first haich. So they would say: 'e do go to the chapel on Sunday. This could mean that he went last Sunday, or will be going next Sunday. By here or by there It is inexplicable why Welshmen make such great use of the proposition 'by'. I once heard a woman say to a child.' Come from by there to by here - or I'll take you home lost'. Another Example of Welsh Speak The above sign was posted outside the new Merthyr Town Hall to be opened by the Prince of Wales. More Examples of Welsh HumourCardi HumourA visitor to Newquay, a Cardigan seaside resort, asked the shopkeeper: "Please can I have a toothbrush". Shopkeeper: "I'm sorry, but our summer novelties haven't come in yet." Cardi Nearly Buys a DrinkA Scotsman called Angus and a Cardi called Dylan met in a Glasgow bus station, both were broke and both were thirsty. The Scotsman had an idea for getting a free beer: 'I know a barmaid in a pub near here who has got a very bad memory. If you get her involved in a conversation she can't remember whether you've paid or not. Let me try it on first.' Angus went into the pub, chatted to the barmaid, and duly got his free drink. Now it was the Cardi's turn to try. Dylan sauntered up to the bar, ordered his pint and began to tell the barmaid all about life in Wales. Ten minutes later he drained his glass and said to the barmaid. 'Well, it's been lovely talking to you but I've got to be off now. What about my change?' Footnote Definition of a Welsh Cardi:"A Scotsman robbed of his generosity." The Road to Perdition
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