Will's Top 10 Jokes

Will's Top 10 Jokes

If you asked me tomorrow, I may well choose a different selection of favourite jokes.  Humour is fickle, it changes with one's mood.  I hope that you will find at least one joke or picture that will make you laugh aloud.

1. Funny One Liners from Real Résumés

2. School Excuse Notes

3. Real Notes Sent to Milkmen

4. Tommy Cooper Jokes - Cooperisms

5. Will's Drinking Philosophy.

6. Video of Running Machine

7. True Story of the Smithsonian Exhibit

8. Oscar Wilde

9. True Newspaper Stories

10. Humour from the Small Ads

Laughter is the medicine of life:- Madelaine Bamford

From The Derby Abbey Community News:

We apologize for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force' . This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce.'

One of Will's many jokes and funny stories.

Window Shopping?

A man went into a pet shop and said, 'I want to buy a wasp.'

'Sorry sir, we don't sell wasps', insisted the shopkeeper.

'But You've got one in the window', said the man.

OUCH

True notes left for Milkmen

Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.

Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.

Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.

Safety film - Report

A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to the Health and Safety Council News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

In the Hotel Shop

1. For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
2. If this is your first visit to Tokyo, you are welcome to it.
3. Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
4. Specialist in women and other diseases.
5. Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

Tommy Cooper - Cooperisms

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.  They charged one and let the other one off.

A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'

A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'
The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'

A man walked into the doctor's, he said ' I've hurt my arm in several places'
The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'

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