Funny Hedgehog Pictures and Stories

Will and Guy's Collection of Funny Hedgehog Pictures and Stories

• Conkers or Hedgehogs?
• Obese Hedgehog Put on a Diet
• A Harsh Lesson in the Hedgehog World
• Harry Hedgehog Torments Basil Bear
• Interesting Facts About Hedgehogs
• Interesting Blond Hedgehog

Conkers or Hedgehogs

Obese Hedgehog Put on a Diet

George weighed 2.2kg [4.8lb] when staff at the Wildlife Aid Centre in Leatherhead, Surrey, England, discovered him in a volunteer's garden. He was put on a high protein diet before starting a daily exercise regime, reports the BBC.

He now weighs 1.7kg [3.7lb] shedding 500g [1.1lb] on the strict diet. Becky Banning, General Manager at the Wildlife Aid Centre, said George had originally grown overweight due to eating high fat foods intended for birds. She added, 'Hedgehogs normally feed on whatever they find in the garden, so George was picking up peanuts and bread. Now he's on a strict food regime, so he's fed cat food once a day in the evening, and no bread. It's the hedgehog equivalent of the Atkins diet, and it's about keeping him away from the fat and giving him more protein.'

Staff at the Wildlife Aid Centre said the average adult hedgehog should weigh between 600 and 700g [1.3 and 1.5lbs] and they expect George to reach that weight in 4 to 5 months.

Here is a photographic comparison between an obese hedgehog and one of normal size.

You couldn't make it up: Assault with a Prickly Weapon

It has come to our notice that a New Zealand man has been accused of assault with a prickly weapon: a hedgehog.

Police allege that a 27 year old male picked up the hedgehog and threw it at a 15-year-old boy in the North Island east coast town of Whakatane.

The youngster had a large red welt and several puncture marks, police commented, but he was not badly hurt. Sadly the hedgehog was dead when it appeared in court. We do not know whether he was alive when the assault took place.

A Harsh Lesson in the Hedgehog World

When Harry Hedgehog was four months old and it was time for his first road safety lesson. In the middle of the night Mum and Dad Hedgehog took him to the nearby A27 between Portchester and Fareham.

'OK,' said Dad Hedgehog, 'you are to walk across the road as quickly as you can all the time looking out for headlights.'

'What do I do if I see headlights?' inquired the young Harry.

'You sit perfectly still in the middle of the lane,' instructed Dad Hedgehog, while Mum Hedgehog nodded wisely. 'That way the wheels pass by on either side of you.'

Dad and Mum Hedgehog demonstrated this several times then told Harry it was his turn.

Nervously Harry scurried across the road. As he reached the far lane bright lines came rushing towards him. Harry did exactly as he was told and froze in the middle of the lane.

There came a screeching of brakes and a dreadful squelching noise.

'Blast!' exclaimed Dad Hedgehog loudly, 'when was the last time you saw a Reliant Robin on this road.' (See picture right, note wheel arrangement).

Harry Hedgehog Torments Basil Bear

Harry Hedgehog meets Basil Bear who's going to fishing in Langstone Harbour. Harry asks the Bear, 'Do you need firewood?'

Basil Bear answers, 'No, of course not, Harry.'

'Really?' demands Harry Hedgehog.
'Look, Harry,' says Basil Bear, a little tetchily. Watch my lips - I don't need firewood.'

'Are you sure, Basil?'
'Get lost with your firewood enquiries, Harry,' shouts the now demented Basil Bear.

'But maybe you still need............................'
'No! No! No! Now get lost, Harry,' screeches Basil.

So Harry Hedgehog goes away.

Later, Basil Bear returns home and............... all his firewood has been stolen.

Interesting Blond Hedgehog (And also an Albino)

A rare blond hedgehog enjoys some autumn sunshine at  a rescue centre after being found at a West Midlands, England, care home. His light colouring makes him too vulnerable to predators to live in the wild Reports BBC online.

Will and Guy speculate whether this blond / pink hedgehog (above) is really the rare albino form (see below).  Or just a normal hedgehog with a different coloured skin.  Only 1 hedgehog in 12,000 is born with a mutant gene that results in no pigmentation.

Interesting Facts About Hedgehogs:

• If you think about the name hedge-hog, it tells you a great deal about this animal. Hog - snout like a pig: hedge - where it roots about for slugs and snails.
• Hedgehogs are found in Europe, Asia and Africa.  In some parts of the USA people have introduced the African Pygmy hedgehog, but it's not native to American, and hedgehogs are banned in California.
• For hedgehogs, smell is their primary sense, however hearing also pays a large part in its senses.  Hedgehogs hibernate for one simple reason: to survive the winter, for the rest of the year they are solitary and nocturnal, hence their eyesight is not highly developed. 
• The male hedgehog is called the boar and the female the sow, their their offspring are hoglets.  Incidentally, the sows are grateful that the hoglets are born without spines.
• The hedgehog is an insectivore and eats lots of beetles and caterpillars; they particularly like, earthworms and slugs.  Hedgehogs have a varied diet and will also eat small mammals, snails, millipedes, earwigs and even bees.
• In Will and Guy's view, Mrs Tiggywinkle is the most famous of all hedgehogs.  Mrs Tiggwinkle appears in Beatrix Potter's books where she is usually ironing, or starching shirts.  (See hedgehog picture to the right).  By comparison Sonic the Hedgehog is a young interloper.
• Sadly, hedgehogs are becoming rare, even endangered.  The problem is fewer good old scruffy gardens.  These days it's either manicured lawn or patio.  Other enemies of the hedgehogs include cars, lawnmowers, strimmers, plus the occasional fox or badger.

Here is Another Batch of Interesting Hedgehog Facts and Trivia

• Hedgehogs have approx 6,000 spines on their backs.
• Ancient Egyptians thought that hedgehog fat would cure baldness.
• Bananas are a well loved food, supposedly good for a hedgehog's digestive system.
• Adult weight is around 1-2 kilograms and at its heaviest which is in the autumn.  Adult males grow to approximately 230mm [9inches] long.
• Life expectancy in the hedgehog world is a mere 2-3 years.  Furthermore, approximately half the hedgehog population dies before they are a year old.
• Hedgehogs can swim, climb walls and run fast - speeds of up to 2 metres a second [4.5 mph].
• The European hedgehog is one of 14 species of spiny hedgehog throughout the world.
• They belong to the Erinacerdae family, a family containing hairy hedgehogs as well as spiny ones.

Drunk Hedgehog Rescued in Devon, England

A hedgehog has been treated in an animal hospital after getting drunk on fermenting apples in an orchard, Will and Guy have the latest on this funny hedgehog story.  The animal was discovered lying on its back and squealing last week and was helped by local wildlife rescue expert Ann McCormack at "The Prickly Ball Hedgehog Hospital" in South Devon. No we have not made this up!

Ms McCormack said, 'They had placed it in a guinea pig cage and it kept going round in circles. The hedgehog kept falling over and was on its back with its legs up in the air for most of the time. It was legless. This is definitely the first drunk hedgehog I have found.  The next morning I came in and turned the light on and she squealed really loudly.  She obviously still had a big headache.'

The hedgehog, interestingly named Tipsy, will be fed up to a healthy weight of 600g before being released back into the wild in the spring.

Funny Hedgehog Story From The Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2009

This joke was voted for by a panel of nine experts who decided that: 'Hedgehogs. Why can't they just share the hedge?' was the funniest and it won the accolade for London comic Dan Antopolski, 36, who is known for his surreal stand up routines.

Nine comedy critics sifted through more than 3,600 minutes of material to find the winner of the "Dave Award for the Funniest Joke of the Fringe". With nearly 18% of votes, Mr. Antopolski took top spot and walked away with a trophy from TV channel Dave and a £1,000 cash prize.

The joke was taken originally from the Perrier Award-nominee's show "Silent But Deadly".

Footnote:
Please send us your funny hedgehog pictures and interesting facts.

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