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Funny Lion Pictures |
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Funny Pictures of Lions and Other Big CatsHere is Will and Guy's collection of amusing lion pictures and jungle stories.
∇Funny Lion Kiss PictureGood photo - being kissed by a real lion is a little unusual. What's Happening Here?My mother used to talk of a 'Cow lick', meaning a hair parting, but a lion lick that's something else. These pictures brought to mind a memory from many years ago. In my home town of Chesterfield, England an act came to the local Circus which involved a scantily dressed young lady; she laid down on a stage with a lump of raw meat on her nose. The Lion then came on, stood over her, and licked the lump of meat from her face. John Cuttriss. °A Picture of Lion FriendsFood for ThoughtBrian, just out of school, starts a new job at Whipsnade Wild Animal Park, Dunstable, Bedfordshire, UK and is given three tasks to complete as part of his probationary period. First he has to clear the weeds from the exotic fish pool. As Brian does this, a piranha jumps out and bites him. In a panic, he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employers won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything. Moving on to the second job of cleaning out the primate house, Brian is attacked by two aggressive chimpanzees, who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes wildly at the two chimps with his spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, of course, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure. Brian now moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by a swarm of angry bees. He grabs the spade and smashes several of them to a pulp. He throws them into the lion enclosure, because lions eat anything. Later that day a new lion arrives at the Animal Park from Marwell Zoo, Winchester, UK. He wanders up to the other lion and asks, 'What's the food like here?' The first lion replies, 'Absolutely superb, for example: today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees.' фWho is Mightiest of All Jungle Animals?A lion wakes up one morning feeling really grumpy and mean. He goes out and corners a small monkey and roars, 'Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?' The trembling monkey answers, 'You are, mighty lion.' Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, 'Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?' The terrified ox stammers, 'Oh g-g-great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle.' On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, 'Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?' Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then tramples the lion till it looks like a pancake and wanders off. The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and shouts after the elephant, 'Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so angry about it.' This joke is attributed to Margaret McVey, Bathgate, West Lothian, Scotland.
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