As you walk around your neighbourhood, or travel on the bus or train, keep
your eye out for funny rubbish notices in your area, meanwhile our collection of
amusing signs.
Please do not throw stones at this sign. We cannot work out who is the more foolish, the
people who erected the warning sign, or those who threw the rocks and mud balls.
A man has been fined £50 for putting rubbish in a bin. Andy Tierney of Hinckley, Leicestershire was issued the fixed penalty notice for dumping two junk mail letters. Hinckley and Bosworth Council accused
him of committing 'an offence under Section 87 of the Environmental Protection Act 1990. Domestic refuse from your property was dumped into a street litter bin the fixed penalty is £50.'
The council classes
letters as 'domestic litter', which should not be dropped in public street bins. According to BBC Radio news and The Sun, Andy said, 'How on earth can they fine me for being tidy? It's
absolute madness. I could
have easily chucked those letters on the ground, but I put them in the bin. What has happened is a joke. The council is barmy. I never thought you could be fined for putting rubbish in a bin - that's
what
they're there for.'
Andy was walking from his house to his car when his postman handed him the junk mail. He opened both letters as he strolled - then dumped them in the bin on a lamppost. Council officials
traced him from the addresses on the envelopes and issued the penalty. The letter threatens Andy with further action and a conviction if he does not pay within 14 days. Andy insisted, 'There's
absolutely no way
I'm paying up. You get fined for chucking rubbish on the ground. You get fined for chucking rubbish in the bin. So what exactly are you supposed to do?'
A spokesman from the council said, 'A fixed penalty
notice is served to people who we believe have committed an offence. Our litter bins are there to keep streets tidy, as they enable the public to deposit small amounts of litter. They are not provided for
household waste.'
NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here
for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
ф
It
Gets Worse - The Council Routinely Search Rubbish. (Reported in the Times)
Today I can reveal the other side to the story, the council's
side. And the great thing is that it makes the council look even more fatuous than it did last
Thursday when Tierney contacted his local newspaper to complain about the fine.
The council now alleges that Tierney did not deposit just two letters in the litter bin, but a whole sack of 'domestic
rubbish'. Tierney denies the imputation: 'They're just trying to save face. They've been made to look stupid, so they come up with this. Why didn't
they say that on Thursday?'
Quite; but more to the point,
how did they know that this black bag full of 'domestic rubbish'
had been deposited by Tierney - unless, that is, they pay someone to rifle through the garbage with the sole purpose of persecuting
rubbish-placement transgressors? Well, of course, on cross-examination it transpires that this is exactly what they spend your council tax on. Rubbish placement transgressor inspectors.
'If we find a black
bin bag in a litter bin, we will sift through the rubbish and attempt to identify who put it there, 'a council employee told me, with great patience, as if this were a perfectly reasonable thing to do.' A
refuse disposal man will identify a black bag and then report it to his supervisor and a decision will be made to examine the contents of the bag and, upon identifying the miscreant, issue a fixed penalty
notice.' You couldn't
make this up and, luckily, I didn't
have to.
There are other eternally vigilant people employed by Hinckley and Bosworth borough council whose job it is to persecute the residents who
pay their wages. These are called neighbourhood wardens - 'the eyes and ears of the local community', according to the council spokeswoman.
It was one of these individuals who espied Tierney putting some
litter in a bin and quickly filed a report. So they have people paid to walk the streets and make sure you don't
put letters in a litter bin and other people employed to sift through your rubbish and fine you
if you do. Possibly people like you and I, possibly weird people whom you would not wish to sit next to at dinner.
The average council tax charge in Hinckley and Bosworth is £1,242.97 a year. Council tax
charges have risen by about 100% nationally over the past decade. This is a small price for such extraordinary vigilance, such devotion to the cause. Quite what the cause is remains a mystery.
Stolen 'wheelie' found in Bulgaria. A council which has spent more than
£75,000 [$149,578.81USD] replacing stolen wheelie bins in the past year said one
had turned up in Bulgaria. Peterborough Council says more than 2,000 bins -
worth £30 [$59.84USD] each - have disappeared. Officials in East Anglia say they
can prove they own the bin found in eastern Europe, reports Sky News.
A spokesman said, 'One 240-litre green recycling bin clearly stamped with the
city council's name was even spotted in a residential area near the Black Sea
resort of Sunny Beach in Bulgaria. This is the most outrageous example of theft
of a wheeled bin we have come across.'
Garbage disposal operators show their sense of humour in this short, but
funny, sequence of photographs:
Waste disposal, rubbish removal, garbage collectors, domestic refuse operator
- whatever you may call them, do a fine job. They take away the things we no
longer want and dispose of them.
Some people in the UK give their 'dustbin man' a monetary tip at Christmas
because they do such a good job of work during the year. Therefore, Will and Guy
were very surprised to see that some thoughtless person had parked their car
blocking the garbage collectors way to their bins.
However, we are able to report to our readers that the 'binmen' had it all in
hand and they reeked their revenge on the unsuspecting the car owner.
Mr Cui, a Chinese man, put his savings in a rubbish bin to hide them from burglars - then forgot and threw out
the bin.
In the rubbish bin was the equivalent of £3,200 [$6,000USD]. 'We looked around our home and finally decided to hide the money in the garbage bin, where we believed it was safest from burglary,' said Cui who lives in Qingdao city. But Cui and his
wife forgot about the money when they returned, reports Bandao City Papers. 'I threw away the garbage the day after I came home, since the bin was full,' he said.
Two days passed before Cui remembered
where he had hidden the money, and when he rushed to check the garbage room, it had already been taken away. 'Our last hope was the city garbage treatment centre, but the landfill was so vast that we knew our
money was lost forever,' he said.
Unusual, Funny and Strange Enquiries Made to Local Councils in England
The calls make a change from enquiries about council tax and rubbish bin
collection say Will and Guy.
One query about registering the death of a person who was still alive was
just one of the quirky calls received by council call centres last year. The
inquiry to Surrey County Council was among 50m calls to local authority
customer services each year.
Another to Northumberland County Council asked where its pest control
officers bought their rifles.
One caller to East Dorset District
Council's Tourist Information Centre wanted an explanation of the plot of
the 18th century play "She Stoops to Conquer".
Another bizarre call in Surrey was from an oddball who asked if he was
allowed to roll up a zebra crossing.
A German went to a council
customer services reception desk in Northumberland to claim political
asylum.
A motorist called Sutton Council to ask if a car park was haunted.
She thought her vehicle was in a different place from where she left
it.
Another resident in the borough asked whether he could put a dead fox in
a recycling bin.
The fact that councils are so often the first port of call for residents
who are seeking a solution to their problems shows just how central a role
councils play in the lives of their communities Will and Guy were informed.
I say, I say Duncan I 'er...I found a police dog in my dustbin (How
do you know he's a police dog) He had a policeman with him
-------------
Now one day while in a hurry He missed a lady's bin He hadn't gone
but a few yards When she chased after him 'What game do you think
you're playing' She cried right from the heart 'You've missed me...am
I too late' 'No... jump up on the cart'
Now here's a little story To tell it is a must About an unsung hero
That moves away your dust Some people make a fortune Other's earn a
mint My old man don't earn much In fact....he's flippin'.....skint
Oh, my old man's a dustman He wears a dustman's hat He wears cor
blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat He looks a proper
narner In his great big hob nailed boots He's got such a job to pull
em up That he calls them daisy roots
Some folks give tips at Christmas And some of them forget So when
he picks their bins up He spills some on the steps Now one old man got
nasty And to the council wrote Next time my old man went 'round there
He punched him up the throat
Oh, my old man's a dustman He wears a dustman's hat He wears cor
blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat
I say, I say Duncan I 'er...I found a police dog in my dustbin (How
do you know he's a police dog) He had a policeman with him
Though my old man's a dustman He's got a heart of gold He got
married recently Though he's 86 years old We said 'Ear! Hang on Dad
you're getting past your prime' He said 'Well when you get to my age'
'It helps to pass the time'
Oh, my old man's a dustman He wears a dustman's hat He wears cor
blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat
I say, I say, I say My dustbins full of lillies (Well throw 'em
away then) I can't Lilly's wearing them
Now one day while in a hurry He missed a lady's bin He hadn't gone
but a few yards When she chased after him 'What game do you think
you're playing' She cried right from the heart 'You've missed me...am
I too late' 'No... jump up on the cart'
Oh, my old man's a dustman He wears a dustman's hat He wears cor
blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat
I say, I say, I say (What you again) My dustbin's absolutely full with
toadstools (How do you know it's full) 'Cos there's not much room
inside
He found a tiger's head one day Nailed to a piece of wood The tiger
looked quite miserable But I suppose it should Just then from out a
window A voice began to wail He said (Oi! Where's me tiger head)
Four foot from it's tail
Oh, my old man's a dustman He wears a dustman's hat He wears cor
blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat Next time you see a
dustman Looking all pale and sad Don't kick him in the dustbin It
might be my old dad
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