Funny Warning Signs. Funny Rubbish Notices

As you walk around your neighbourhood, or travel on the bus or train, keep your eye out for funny rubbish notices in your area, meanwhile our collection of amusing signs.

1) Rubbish Notice

Please do not throw stones at this sign. We cannot work out who is the more foolish, the people who erected the warning sign, or those who threw the rocks and mud balls.

2) Rubbish Ambition?

I recently asked a friend, 'Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?'

I had to think about that one for a moment. 'That's a rather strange ambition to have for a career,' I finally managed to reply.

'Well,' said the boy's father, 'he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays'.

3) Real Rubbish

A man has been fined £50 for putting rubbish in a bin. Andy Tierney of Hinckley, Leicestershire was issued the fixed penalty notice for dumping two junk mail letters. Hinckley and Bosworth Council accused him of committing 'an offence under Section 87 of the Environmental Protection Act 1990. Domestic refuse from your property was dumped into a street litter bin the fixed penalty is £50.' A man has been fined £50 for putting rubbish in a bin.

The council classes letters as 'domestic litter', which should not be dropped in public street bins. According to BBC Radio news and The Sun, Andy said, 'How on earth can they fine me for being tidy? It's absolute madness. I could have easily chucked those letters on the ground, but I put them in the bin. What has happened is a joke. The council is barmy. I never thought you could be fined for putting rubbish in a bin - that's what they're there for.'

Andy was walking from his house to his car when his postman handed him the junk mail. He opened both letters as he strolled - then dumped them in the bin on a lamppost. Council officials traced him from the addresses on the envelopes and issued the penalty. The letter threatens Andy with further action and a conviction if he does not pay within 14 days. Andy insisted, 'There's absolutely no way I'm paying up. You get fined for chucking rubbish on the ground. You get fined for chucking rubbish in the bin. So what exactly are you supposed to do?'

A spokesman from the council said, 'A fixed penalty notice is served to people who we believe have committed an offence. Our litter bins are there to keep streets tidy, as they enable the public to deposit small amounts of litter. They are not provided for household waste.'

NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW:
Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

3a) It gets worse - the council routinely search rubbish. (Reported in the Times)

Today I can reveal the other side to the story, the council's side. And the great thing is that it makes the council look even more fatuous than it did last Thursday when Tierney contacted his local newspaper to complain about the fine.

The council now alleges that Tierney did not deposit just two letters in the litter bin, but a whole sack of 'domestic rubbish'. Tierney denies the imputation: 'They're just trying to save face. They've been made to look stupid, so they come up with this. Why didn't they say that on Thursday?'

Quite; but more to the point, how did they know that this black bag full of 'domestic rubbish' had been deposited by Tierney — unless, that is, they pay someone to rifle through the garbage with the sole purpose of persecuting rubbish-placement transgressors? Well, of course, on cross-examination it transpires that this is exactly what they spend your council tax on. Rubbish placement transgressor inspectors.

'If we find a black bin bag in a litter bin, we will sift through the rubbish and attempt to identify who put it there, 'a council employee told me, with great patience, as if this were a perfectly reasonable thing to do.' A refuse disposal man will identify a black bag and then report it to his supervisor and a decision will be made to examine the contents of the bag and, upon identifying the miscreant, issue a fixed penalty notice.' You couldn't make this up and, luckily, I didn't have to.

There are other eternally vigilant people employed by Hinckley and Bosworth borough council whose job it is to persecute the residents who pay their wages. These are called neighbourhood wardens — 'the eyes and ears of the local community', according to the council spokeswoman.

It was one of these individuals who espied Tierney putting some litter in a bin and quickly filed a report. So they have people paid to walk the streets and make sure you don't put letters in a litter bin and other people employed to sift through your rubbish and fine you if you do. Possibly people like you and I, possibly weird people whom you would not wish to sit next to at dinner.

The average council tax charge in Hinckley and Bosworth is £1,242.97 a year. Council tax charges have risen by about 100% nationally over the past decade. This is a small price for such extraordinary vigilance, such devotion to the cause. Quite what the cause is remains a mystery.

4) Stolen Rubbish Bin Stolen Wheelie found in Bulgaria

Stolen 'wheelie' found in Bulgaria.
A council which has spent more than £75,000 [$149,578.81USD] replacing stolen wheelie bins in the past year said one had turned up in Bulgaria. Peterborough Council says more than 2,000 bins - worth £30 [$59.84USD] each - have disappeared. Officials in East Anglia say they can prove they own the bin found in eastern Europe, reports Sky News.

A spokesman said, 'One 240-litre green recycling bin clearly stamped with the city council's name was even spotted in a residential area near the Black Sea resort of Sunny Beach in Bulgaria. This is the most outrageous example of theft of a wheeled bin we have come across.'

5) 'Get Out of That', Say Binmen

Garbage disposal operators show their sense of humour in this short, but funny, sequence of photographs:

Waste disposal, rubbish removal, garbage collectors, domestic refuse operator - whatever you may call them, do a fine job. They take away the things we no longer want and dispose of them.

Some people in the UK give their 'dustbin man' a monetary tip at Christmas because they do such a good job of work during the year. Therefore, Will and Guy were very surprised to see that some thoughtless person had parked their car blocking the garbage collectors way to their bins.

However, we are able to report to our readers that the 'binmen' had it all in hand and they reeked their revenge on the unsuspecting the car owner.

5a) Funny Rubbish Notice - Don't Upset the Binmen

6) Rubbish Savings Account

Mr Cui, a Chinese man, put his savings in a rubbish bin to hide them from burglars - then forgot and threw out the bin.

In the rubbish bin was the equivalent of £3,200 [$6,000USD]. 'We looked around our home and finally decided to hide the money in the garbage bin, where we believed it was safest from burglary,' said Cui who lives in Qingdao city. But Cui and his wife forgot about the money when they returned, reports Bandao City Papers. 'I threw away the garbage the day after I came home, since the bin was full,' he said.

Two days passed before Cui remembered where he had hidden the money, and when he rushed to check the garbage room, it had already been taken away. 'Our last hope was the city garbage treatment centre, but the landfill was so vast that we knew our money was lost forever,' he said.

7) Please Do Not Leave Rubbish Here

8) Road to Nowhere?

9) My Old Man's a Dustman Sung by Lonnie Donegan

Guy's favourite verses

I say, I say Duncan
I 'er...I found a police dog in my dustbin
(How do you know he's a police dog)
He had a policeman with him

-------------

Now one day while in a hurry
He missed a lady's bin
He hadn't gone but a few yards
When she chased after him
'What game do you think you're playing'
She cried right from the heart
'You've missed me...am I too late'
'No... jump up on the cart'

Now here's a little story
To tell it is a must
About an unsung hero
That moves away your dust
Some people make a fortune
Other's earn a mint
My old man don't earn much
In fact....he's flippin'.....skint

Oh, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat
He looks a proper narner
In his great big hob nailed boots
He's got such a job to pull em up
That he calls them daisy roots

Some folks give tips at Christmas
And some of them forget
So when he picks their bins up
He spills some on the steps
Now one old man got nasty
And to the council wrote
Next time my old man went 'round there
He punched him up the throat

Oh, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

I say, I say Duncan
I 'er...I found a police dog in my dustbin
(How do you know he's a police dog)
He had a policeman with him

Though my old man's a dustman
He's got a heart of gold
He got married recently
Though he's 86 years old
We said 'Ear! Hang on Dad
you're getting past your prime'
He said 'Well when you get to my age'
'It helps to pass the time'

Oh, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

I say, I say, I say
My dustbins full of lillies
(Well throw 'em away then)
I can't Lilly's wearing them

Oh, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

I say, I say, I say (What you again)
My dustbin's absolutely full with toadstools
(How do you know it's full)
'Cos there's not much room inside

He found a tiger's head one day
Nailed to a piece of wood
The tiger looked quite miserable
But I suppose it should
Just then from out a window
A voice began to wail
He said (Oi! Where's me tiger head)
Four foot from it's tail

Oh, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat
Next time you see a dustman
Looking all pale and sad
Don't kick him in the dustbin
It might be my old dad

Funny Rubbish Notice