|
°
|
Loading
The Sisterhood
|
||
The Sisterhood - Funny PowerPoint PresentationExamples of the Sisterhood mantra: 1) Body: How would you like to go to the 6 o'clock vigorous toning class? 2) Clear as a bell my body replied thus: 'Listen fatty .... do it and die'. ΔMore Wise Words From 'The Funny Sisterhood'3) The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes. 4) My mind not only wanders - it sometimes leaves me completely. The Sisterhood - Funny PowerPoint Presentation
♦Out-take from the Funny Sisterhood PowerPointI decided to take an aerobatics class. I bent twisted and gyrated and jumped up and down for an hour. But by the time I got on my leotard the class was over. фMermaid or Whale? What Does the Sisterhood Think?Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tanned woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said: "THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?" A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym. To Whom It May Concern: Whales are always surrounded by friends [dolphins, sea lions, curious humans]. They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins, stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world. ¡Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store? The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale. Footnote: We are in an age when the media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, 'Good gosh, look how smart I am!' Kindly sent in by Maggie Nutt How Being a Mother Can Change Your Life:
|
Joke of the Day EmailGet a clean joke delivered to your inbox every day, no strings attached, just part of our service. Free subscription to our Funny Joke of the Day email. We have over 1,500 pages of funny pictures, clean jokes, stories and amusing videos. Please use the Search below to find a topic of particular interest: |
Thought of the Day SubscriptionOur offer is to email you an inspirational 'Thought of the day'. Your subscription is completely free of cost and there are no adverts. Sign up for our 'Thought of the Day'. › |
Custom Search
Please email Guy with your joke or funny picture:
|