A foursome of ladies came back after a round of golf. At the 19th hole in
the Clubhouse, the Pro, Ross, politely asked them, 'How did your game go?'
The first said she had a good round with 25 riders. The second said she
did OK with 16 riders. The third said not too bad since I had 10 riders. The
fourth was disappointed and said that she played badly with only two riders.
Ross was confounded by this term "rider" but not wanting to show his
ignorance just smiled and wish them better golf the next time.
He then approached Jimmy, the bartender, and asked, 'Hey, Jimmy, can you
tell me what does this term "riders" mean?'
Jimmy smiled as he explained to Ross that a "rider" is when you have hit
a shot long enough to take a ride on a golf cart.
Scratch Golfer
Maria and Stephanie were selected to play together as partners in the
Cams Hall Club tournament and met on the putting green for the first time.
After introductions, Maria asked, 'What's your handicap?'
'Oh, I'm a
scratch golfer,' Stephanie replied.
'Really!' exclaimed Maria, suitably impressed that she had been paired
with Stephanie.
'Yes, I write down all my good scores and scratch out
the bad ones,' responded Stephanie with a smile.
I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
It was a sunny Saturday morning on the
Crookhorn municipal golf course, England and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualising my upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse tannoy: 'WOULD THE GENTLEMAN ON THE WOMAN'S TEE BACK UP TO THE
MEN'S TEE PLEASE.'
I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement rang out louder', Would the MAN on the WOMEN'S tee kindly back up to the men's tee.'
I simply ignored the request and kept concentrating, when once more, the man yelled', Would the man on the woman's tee back up to the men's tee, PLEASE.'
I finally stopped, turned,
looked through the clubhouse window directly at the person with the microphone and shouted back', Would the person in the clubhouse kindly stop shouting and let me play my second shot'
Ralph was a smooth operator, and at Southwick Golf Club's annual dance he
attached himself to the prettiest lady golfer in the room and began boasting
to her.
'You know,' smarmed Ralph, 'they're all afraid to play me. What do you
think my handicap is?'
'Well, where do you want me to start, Ralph ?' Came her quick
response.
Wedding Anniversary and Golf
Nick was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.
Molly, his wife told him, 'Tomorrow there better be something in the
driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat.'
The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Funeral arrangements for Nick have been set for Saturday at his favourite
golf course.
Small World
»
Alex and Jim are trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there are
two terrible lady golfers in front of them hitting the ball everywhere but
where it's supposed to go.
Alex comments to Jim, 'Why don't you go over and ask if we can play
through?' Jim gets about halfway there, turns and comes back so Alex
asks, 'What's wrong?'
Jim replies, 'One of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress.'
Alex responds, 'That could be a problem. I'll go over and have a word.'
He gets about halfway there and he turns and comes back, too. So Jim
says ,'What's wrong?'
The ante natal clinic at St Mary's Hospital, Trafford, Manchester,
England, was full of pregnant women accompanied by their partners and the
class was in full swing.
Mrs Sally Mackintosh, Midwife, was teaching the women how to breathe
properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to
their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
She lectured, 'Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is
especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make
delivery that much easier.'
Sally gazed around slowly and studied the men in the room, 'And
gentlemen, remember; you're in this together, it wouldn't hurt you to go
walking with her.'
The room became very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then
Graham, a prospective Dad, at the back of the room, slowly and nervously
raised his hand.
'Yes?' enquired Sally.
'I was just wondering,' stumbled Graham, ' Would it be all right if she
carries a golf bag while we walk?'
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