Funny Story about Cars

Painting

One day, Jimmy knocks on the door of a home in an upper-class neighbourhood.  The lady of the house answers.' Pardon me Ma'am', Jimmy says, 'I'm out of work and looking for any odd jobs that people need done.  I'm very handy with everything from repairs to yard work, to painting...'

'Painting?' the woman jumped in.

'Oh, yes, Ma' am! I'm a very careful painter, 'Jimmy replied, his face brightening at the realisation that she could provide him some work.

'I'll tell you what. My husband just bought some green paint last week to paint the porch out back, but we haven't had any time. If you can do a good job, then you can paint it before he gets home and surprise him.

'Now, do a particularly good job and paint the trimmings white as well, and I'll pay you an extra bonus.'

'Oh yes, Ma' am, I'll do an excellent job!' She then told Jimmy where to find the paints around back in the garage.

A few hours later, Jimmy returns to the door.' That was quick, did you do a good job?' the woman inquires.

' Oh yes Ma' am, two coats! But there's something you should know, 'Jimmy says.

...

......

'That car is not a Porsche, it's a Ferrari!'

Trivial information about cars:

• The first cars did not have steering wheels, drivers steered with a lever
• The New York City Police Department used bicycles to pursue speeding motorists in 1898
• The first speeding ticket was issued in 1902
• In 1916, over half [55%] of the cars in the world were Model T Fords, a record that has never been beaten
• The first petrol gauge appeared in cars in 1922
• By 1923, 173 new inventions by women for cars had been reported; these included a carburettor and an electric engine starter
• The first car radio was invented in 1929
• Buick introduced the first electric turn signals in 1938
• The Peanuts characters were first animated in 1957 for a Ford automobile commercial
• Most American car horns beep in the key of F
• The automobile is the most recycled consumer product in the world today.

Funny car joke

Matt was in the pub one night telling his friend how his uncle Arthur tried to build a new car for himself.

Firstly, Arthur took wheels from a Lamborghini, a radiator from a Ferrari, some panels and bumpers from a Porche............'

'Cripes,' exclaimed Bob interrupting, 'that sounds amazing. What did Arthur end up with?'
Matt replied calmly, 'Two years inside.'

Motorway Problem

As Retired Lieutenant Commander Andrew Craig was driving his old car down the motorway, his mobile phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Andrew, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M275. Please be careful!'

'Botheration, 'said Andrew, 'Its not just one car. Its hundreds of them!'

See more sports jokes and funny stories:

● Sports Home   ● Golf Jokes   ● Funny golf pictures   ● Funny golf video   ● Basketball   ● Soccer

● Colemanballs   ● Cricket   ● Cricket nicknames   ● Rugby nicknames   ● Sports nicknames   ● Home

Joke of the day Get a clean joke delivered to your inbox every day, no strings attached, just part of our free service.  Subscribe to Will and Guy's Joke of the Day. We have over 1,000 pages of funny pictures, clean jokes, funny stories and amusing videos.  Please use the Search box below to find a topic of particular interest:	Jokes for mobile phones / cell phones Will and Guy now have clean jokes and funny pictures formatted for 'mobi' or cell phones.  Discover more about our 'mobi' sub-site If you enter the following uri into your mobile or cell phone, then you can view Will and Guy's site on your handset:  http://guy-sports.com/mobi/
Web Search this site for jokes Email Guy and send your joke or funny picture to:   ● Home   ● Latest Pages