Ralph was a smooth operator, and at Southwick Golf Club's annual dance he
attached himself to the prettiest lady golfer in the room and began boasting
to her.
'You know,' smarmed Ralph, 'they're all afraid to play me. What do you
think my handicap is?'
'Well, where do you want me to start, Ralph ?' Came her quick
response.
Take a good look at this picture then read the paragraph underneath.
♪
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly
dirty and shabby-looking homeless man (see above) who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy
some beer with it instead of dinner?'
No, I had to stop drinking years ago, 'the homeless man replied.
'Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?'
the man asked.'
No, I don't
waste time
fishing, 'the homeless man said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'
'Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?'
the man asked. 'Are you NUTS!'
replied the
homeless man. 'I haven't played golf in 20 years!'
'Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?'
the man asked.'
What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?'
exclaimed the homeless man.
'Well, 'said the man, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.'
The homeless man was astounded.'
Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'
The man replied, 'That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and
women.' See more funny fishy
stories.
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