Tennis Jokes - Wimbledon

Will and Guy's Tennis Jokes - Wimbledon

In Britain for two weeks in June, one of the four Grand Slam tennis tournaments is played at The All England Club, Wimbledon, just outside London

• Amusing Tennis Quotes
• Wimbledon 2007 - Defining Memories
• No-tennis Tennis Court
• Tennis - Doctor's orders
• Top Seed?

Some Amusing Tennis Quotes:

• To err is human. To put the blame on someone else is doubles. Anonymous
• Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player? 
  To them, "Love" means nothing.
• I would so like to be Lenny Kravitz.
  Roger Federer.
• I wore that to a sixth-grade dance. Robby Ginepri on Vince Spadea's outfit in Miami.
• I listen to him most of the time, some of the time I switch off.
  Andy Murray on coach Brad Gilbert.
• Diane - keeping her head beautifully on her shoulders.
  Ann Jones
• Zivojinovic seems to be able to pull the big bullet out of the top drawer.
  Mike Ingham
• If she gets the jitters now, then she isn't the great champion that she is.
  Max Robertson
• McEnroe has got to sit down and work out where he stands. Fred Perry
• When Martina is tense it helps her relax. Dan Maskell
• We haven't had any more rain since it stopped raining. Harry Carpenter
• These ball boys are marvellous. You don't even notice them. There's a left handed one over there. I noticed him earlier. Max Robertson
• She comes from a tennis playing family. Her father's a dentist.
  Anonymous BBC 2 Television presenter.

Wimbledon 2007 - Defining Memories

Play stopped rain!

So that's alright then? - No-tennis Tennis Court

Tennis - Doctor's orders

Arnie, a management executive, has on his doctor's orders, to take part in some form of sporting activity.  Arnie decides to play tennis.

After a few of weeks Moya, his secretary asks him how he's doing.

'It's going very well, thanks,'  Arnie answers. 'When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me, my brain immediately says: 'To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!'

'Really? What happens then?' Moya enquires of Arnie, in some awe.

'Then my body says, 'Who? Me? You must be kidding!'

Both Will and Guy have some sympathy with Arnie.

Top Seed?

Top Spin?

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