Funny Dentist Horror Stories

Funny Dentist Horror Stories

• Thomas and Olive at the Dentist
• Avoid Dentures
• Bullet Lodges in Man's False Teeth
• Lying Through His Teeth?
• This Will Rot More than Your Teeth
• Dentist Jokes

1) Thomas and Olive at the Dentist

Olive, from County Westmeath, Ireland, arrives in England to live with her daughter and son in law. She is moving because of her poor health and brings with her most of her treasured possessions. These include a small piece of tissue paper in which she has secreted what appear to be five teeth which have broken off her denture.

Having settled in she asks Thomas, 'Do you know where I can get my dentures mended?' Of course, 'replies Thomas, 'If you give them to me I'll take them to a dental technician.'

Olive duly hands over the rather tired piece of paper which contains some very grubby looking teeth.

He drives to Waterlooville to the dental laboratory.  'How long will it take?' Thomas asks the technician.

'Oh, about an hour, 'smiles the dental expert.' Then I'll wait in the car', says Thomas, 'and read my newspaper.'

An hour passes and the technician appears at the car window holding a plastic bag and the piece of tissue paper.  'That'll be £80, 'requests the specialist, 'but I could only fit four of the teeth to the denture. I'm sorry.'

'That's a pity', comments Thomas, 'what happened to the fifth one?'

'I have it here in the tissue', answers the techie, showing it to Thomas.

'The thing is, he said, 'it's easy to fit the teeth but nigh on impossible to fit this peanut.'

Footnote
We know this was a true dentist story because Will was there.

2) Avoid Dentures

An Argentinian robber was caught after he lost his false teeth during a raid on a house. Senor Juan Navarro, from Cordoba, saw one of the three masked men who held him up lose his dentures, reports Terra Noticias Populares.  In his hurry to escape with jewellery and cash, the robber left the false teeth behind and Senor Navarro handed them over to the police. Two days after the robbery, Senor Navarro noticed his own nephew suddenly seemed to have lost his teeth.

A police spokesman said: 'Senor Navarro came straight to us and we had the denture analysed. It turns out it belongs to his nephew. What a funny thing to happen.  Caught by a denture!  Unbelievable!' Will and Guy invite you to see more losers

3) Bullet Lodges in Man's False Teeth

Couple Escape Death:

A traumatised couple survived being killed when the bullet fired at them ricocheted off the wife's cheek, and the husband amazingly caught it in his false teeth. This totally miraculous escape happened in Zagreb, Croatia.

Two men were fiercely arguing about an overdue debt, Will and Guy have learned from police sources. Seconds later one of them produced a pistol and fired at the couple at point blank range. Amazingly the bullet just grazed the cheekbone of Mirna Cavlovic and carried straight on towards her husband Stipe who caught it in his dentures.

'I thought I was dead for sure,' Stipe informed us, 'I didn't even see the bullet hit my wife. I just saw the flash of the gun's barrel. The next thing I knew was something hit my false teeth and I spat out the hot lead. It hurt like hell but we're both still alive.'

Guy is of the opinion that he was probably saved because so much of the bullet's speed had been lost when it first struck his wife's cheek.  While Will feels that Stipe may turn it into a circus act.

The perpetrator of the crime ran from the scene but we have learned that he is now in police custody awaiting trial.

4) Lying Through His Teeth?

A suspected car thief was tracked down by police after he left his false teeth at the crime scene. Police say Wojtek Lekowsky, 54, broke into a car in Czarna Dabrowka in northwest Poland and stole a stereo, but lost his teeth when he tried to make a quick getaway after the car alarm went off reports the Digital Journal.

He was tracked down using dental records and police charged him with robbery. Police spokesman Roman Krakowiak reported, 'He tried to tell us that while the false teeth were his, they had been stolen from him. He had not been anywhere near the car at the time of the theft, but we knew he was lying through his dentures.'

5) This Will Rot More Than Your Teeth

The hospital's consulting dietician was giving a lecture to several community nurses from the Southampton area of Hampshire.

'The rubbish we put into our stomachs and consume should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is terrible. Fizzy drinks attack your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with msg. Vegetables can be disastrous because of fertilisers and pesticides and none of us realises the long-term damage being done by the rotten bacteria in our drinking water. However, there is one food that is incredibly dangerous and we all have, or will, eat it at some time in our lives.

Now, is anyone here able to tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'

A 65-year-old nursing sister sitting in the front row stood up and said, 'Wedding cake.'

See more Wedding Jokes

6) Dentist Jokes

The six most frightening words in the world: 'Your dentist will see you now.'

Booking Dental Appointments for Chinese Patients

What time do Chinese patients prefer for their dental appointments?  2:30.
(Sent in by Bernie MacLeod).

Lovers' Tryst?

Girl: 'Darling, your teeth remind me of the stars'
Boy: 'Because they gleam and sparkle'
Man: 'No, because they come out at night!'

See more good dentist jokes here

Footnote:
Please send us your funny dentist horror stories and dentist jokes.

On a more serious note... If you have been butchered by a crazy dentist then a clinical negligence claim could be on the cards

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