True Story at the Dentist
True Story at the Dentist
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1) Thomas and Olive at the Dentist
Olive, from County Westmeath, Ireland, arrives in England to live with her daughter and son in law. She is moving because of her poor health and brings with her most of her treasured possessions. These include a small piece of tissue paper in which she has secreted what appear to be five teeth which have broken off her denture.
Having settled in she asks Thomas, 'Do you know where I can get my dentures mended?' Of course, 'replies Thomas, 'If you give them to me I'll take them to a dental technician.'
Olive duly hands over the rather tired piece of paper which contains some very grubby looking teeth.
He drives to Waterlooville to the dental laboratory. 'How long will it take?' Thomas asks the technician.
'Oh, about an hour, 'smiles the dental expert.' Then I'll wait in the car', says Thomas, 'and read my newspaper.'
An hour passes and the technician appears at the car window holding a plastic bag and the piece of tissue paper. 'That'll be £80, 'requests the specialist, 'but I could only fit four of the teeth to the denture. I'm sorry.'
'That's a pity', comments Thomas, 'what happened to the fifth one?'
'I have it here in the tissue', answers the techie, showing it to Thomas.
'The thing is, he said, 'it's easy to fit the teeth but nigh on impossible to fit this peanut.'
Footnote
We know this was true because Will was there.
‡
2) Avoid Dentures
An Argentinian robber was caught after he lost his false teeth during a raid on a house. Senor Juan Navarro, from Cordoba, saw one of the three masked men who held him up lose his dentures, reports Terra Noticias Populares. In his hurry to escape with jewellery and cash, the robber left the false teeth behind and Senor Navarro handed them over to the police. Two days after the robbery, Senor Navarro noticed his own nephew suddenly seemed to have lost his teeth.
A police spokesman said: 'Senor Navarro came straight to us and we had the denture analysed. It turns out it belongs to his nephew. What a funny thing to happen. Caught by a denture! Unbelievable!' Will and Guy invite you to see more losers
3) This Will Rot More Than Your Teeth
The hospital's consulting dietician was giving a lecture to several community nurses from the Southampton area of Hampshire.
'The rubbish we put into our stomachs and consume should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is terrible. Fizzy drinks attack your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with msg. Vegetables can be disastrous because of fertilisers and pesticides and none of us realises the long-term damage being done by the rotten bacteria in our drinking water. However, there is one food that is incredibly dangerous and we all have, or will, eat it at some time in our lives.
Now, is anyone here able to tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'
A 65-year-old nursing sister sitting in the front row stood up and said, 'Wedding cake.'
♦
4) Dentist Jokes
The six most frightening words in the world: 'Your dentist will see you now.'
Booking Dental Appointments for Chinese Patients
What time do Chinese patients prefer for their dental appointments?
2:30.
(Sent in by Bernie MacLeod).
Lovers' Tryst?
Girl: 'Darling, your teeth remind me of the stars'
Boy: 'Because they
gleam and sparkle'
Man: 'No, because they come out at night!'
Painless Dentist
When a new dentist set up in town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the 'Painless' dentist. However a local little girl disputed his claim.
'He's a fake!' she told her friends. 'He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him - and he screamed like anyone else.'
Fast - or Slow?
Patient: How much will it cost me to have this tooth extracted?
Dentist: $300
Patient: $300 for just a few minutes work, that expensive.
Dentist: O.K. I'll pull it out slowly if you prefer.
Dentist Award
What does a dentist's award look like? We don't have a picture, but apparently it's a big plaque with a little cavity.
Footnote:
Please send us your dentist stories and
jokes.
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