Fishy Story

Here is a Select of Will and Guy's Fishy Stories

 ∇

1) Gone Fishing

Alex had a terrible day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one.  On his way home, he stopped at the fishmonger and ordered four rainbow trout.  He told the fishmonger, 'Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?' Fishy story.  Fish tales

'Why do you want me to throw them at you?' Asked the salesman?'  So that I am able to tell my wife, in all honesty, that I caught them.' said Alex.

'Okay, but I suggest that you take the salmon.' Why's that?'Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take salmon. That's what she'd like for supper tonight.' replied the fishmonger with a grin.

2) How to Get Really Smart

A customer at Stingray Fishmongers marvelled at the owner's quick wit and intelligence.Fishy tales Will and Guy's humour

'Tell me, Simon, what makes you so smart?'

'I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone, 'Simon replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear.' But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant.'

'You sell them here?' the customer asks.

'Only $4 apiece', says Simon.

The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.

'You didn't eat enough, 'says Simon. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.

'Hey, Simon, 'he complains, 'you're selling me fish heads for $4 a piece when I can buy the whole fish for $2. you're ripping me off!'

'You see?' says Simon, 'you're smarter already.'

 ♦

3) The Ones that Got Away

After a Tuesday fishing on the River Test, near Southampton in Southern England, Trevor is walking from the pier carrying two brown trout in a bucket.

He is approached by a Water Conservation Officer who asks him for his fishing license.

Trevor replies to the environmentalist, 'I was not fishing and I did not catch these brown trout, they are my pets. Every day I come down to the water and put these fish into the water and take them for a walk to the end of the pier and back. When I'm ready to go I whistle and they jump back into the bucket and we go home.

The officer, obviously, does not believe him and he reminds Trevor that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, 'If you don't believe me then watch, 'and he throws the trout back into the water.

The warden says, 'Now whistle to your fish and show me that they will jump out of the water and into the bucket.'

The fisherman turns to the officer and says, 'What fish?'

Footnote:
Please send us your Fishy Story


See more funny fishy pictures, clean jokes, tales and stories

Home   ● Fish for ticket   ● Funny fish pictures   ● Fishy tales   ● Fishy story   ● Catfish

Hunting & shooting   ● Bill Dance fishing video   ● Funny seal pictures   ● Countryside jokes


Joke of the day

Get a clean joke delivered to your inbox every day, no strings attached, just part of our free service.  Subscribe to Will and Guy's Joke of the Day.

We have over 1,000 pages of funny pictures, clean jokes, funny stories and amusing videos.  Please use the Search box below to find a topic of particular interest:

Jokes for mobile phones / cell phones

Will and Guy now have clean jokes and funny pictures formatted for 'mobi' or cell phones.  Discover more about our 'mobi' sub-site

If you enter the following uri into your mobile or cell phone, then you can view Will and Guy's site on your handset:  http://guy-sports.com/mobi/

Search for jokes and funny pictures

Web Search this site for jokes

Email Guy and send your joke or funny picture to:

StumbleUpon 

Home    ● Latest Pages