Out of the Mouth of Babes

Will and Guy's selection of short stories from schools

• Know your Apples
• God Knows?
• Boot on the wrong foot
• Job for the Boys?

Know your Apples

Here is the scene: The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Church elementary school for lunch.

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.  The nun made a note, and put it on the apple tray...

'Take only ONE. God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

God Knows?

A nursery school teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to little Sarah who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. Sarah replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'

Sarah replied, 'They will in a minute'

See more clean religious stories

Boot on the wrong foot>

This tale is based on a true story told to Will by a friend [Tessa] who is an nursery schoolteacher in Drayton near Portsmouth; names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Marlon asked the teacher to help him get his shoes on at the end of a busy day. After quite a struggle with the shoes, which were a little tight, Tessa finally got them on. 'They're on the wrong way round, Miss,' mumbled Marlon.

She realises that he is right; they are on the wrong feet. Staying calm she and swaps them over for him.

'They're not my shoes, Miss,' Marlon murmurs again.

Tessa fights hard to keep her cool and asks Marlon why he hadn't told her before. She then kneels down again and helps him pull the shoes off.

'These aren't my shoes, they're my brother's and Mum told me not to tell anyone.'

At this point Tessa can feel tears coming. She helps him back into his shoes. She gets him into his coat and wraps his scarf round his neck.

'Where are your gloves, Marlon?' asks Tessa quietly.

'Oh, Miss, I always put them in my shoes!'

Job for the Boys?

Will and Guy were once members of the teaching profession and we have found this amusing quote in the 'Handbook on Health and Safety' published by a British Teachers' Union: 'Every school should have a H&S rep. There are laws that protect their status, they are allowed time to train and perform their duties, and they can close an unsafe school! If you are interested in doing this please contact the regional centre.'

Will and Guy believe that several pupils have applied for this post.

See another clean funny short story:

●  Stories Home  ● Funny Short Story  ● Nursery Teacher  ● Wise Sayings  ● Aircrew  ● Wheelbarrow

Joke of the day Get a clean joke delivered to your inbox every day, no strings attached, just part of our free service.  Subscribe to Will and Guy's Joke of the Day. We have over 1,000 pages of funny pictures, clean jokes, funny stories and amusing videos.  Please use the Search box below to find a topic of particular interest:	Jokes for mobile phones / cell phones Will and Guy now have clean jokes and funny pictures formatted for 'mobi' or cell phones.  Discover more about our 'mobi' sub-site If you enter the following uri into your mobile or cell phone, then you can view Will and Guy's site on your handset:  http://guy-sports.com/mobi/
Web Search this site for jokes Email Guy and send your joke or funny picture to:   ● Home    ● Latest Pages

Good, clean yet free stories and jokes.  True stories, after dinner humour, urban myths and humorous short stories.