Canada v USA Rivalry

Will and Guy's Urban Myths

The Canada v USA enmity must be one of the biggest rivalries on the planet.  As a neutral, I know how Canadians bristle if you call them Americans, and vice versa.  Now one of these stories is alleged to be true, while the other is a well known urban myth.  I will leave you to work out which is which.

• Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!
• Sometimes those who try and pull rank get their come-uppance
• Canada Fights Back

Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!

Scientists at the Canadian Research Facility built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets, all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

Amtrak engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains.  Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the NASA engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.

The horrified Americans sent the Canadian Research Facility the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the Canadian scientists for suggestions.

The Canadian Research Facility responded with a one-line memo:
'Defrost the chicken.'

Sometimes those who try and pull rank get their come-uppance.

One foggy night, a United States Aircraft Carrier was cruising off the coast of Newfoundland and the junior radar operator spotted a light in the gloom.  Here is a transcript of what happened next.

The radar operator worked out that a collision was likely unless the other vessel changed its course.  So he sent a radio message.

U.S. Aircraft Carrier Radar Officer:
'Please divert your course at least 7 degrees to the south to avoid a collision'.

Back came the reply: 'You must be joking, I recommend you divert your course instead'.

The U.S. Radar Officer referred the matter to his superior officer.  And reported the incident as subordination.

As a result the Captain of the Air Craft Carrier sent a second message.  'I believe that I out rank you, and am giving you a direct order to divert your course now!!!'

Canadian Radio Operator:
'This is a lighthouse.  I suggest you take evasive action.'

See the Video version of the saga here - Free Download

Footnote to the lighthouse urban myth

The lighthouse story is an urban myth.  Our friend Jackson heard a rumour that the story is discussed at the annual coastguards convention, where the different versions are compared and scored.  Apparently most versions are preposterous because the ship would have visual contact with the lighthouse.  However, if you add a fog to your version you gain credibility - at least in the eyes of the lighthouse keepers.

Canada Fights Back

Footnote:
Please send us your examples of Canada v USA Rivalry

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