Valentine Card Quotes

Will and Guy's Collection of Valentine's Day Cards

Old, new, funny and beautiful cards.  Also a selection of Valentine card quotes.

• Valentine Card Quotes
• The Perfect Valentine's Day Card
• Unusual and Funny Valentine Cards
• World's Oldest Valentine Card
• Tesco Reject Funny Valentine Card

Valentine Card Quotes

Will and Guy invite visitors to write one of these quotations in the Valentine card they send this year:

• Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius. Mozart
• Love is indescribable and unconditional. I could tell you a thousand things that it is not, but not one that it is. Duke Ellington
• To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others. Francois Mauriac
• Love is not blind, it simply enables one to see things others fail to see. Anonymous
• 'I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.'  Rita Rudner
• Never close your lips to those whom you have opened your heart.  Charles Dickens
• Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. Robert Frost

More Unusual and Funny Valentine Cards

Be My Valentine?

This Guitar Design Won a PhotoShop Contest

Valentine Love Letters

Above pictures by Sassydeb

 An Optometrist's* Funny Valentine Card

* Optometrists are trained professionals who examine eyes, test sight, give advice on visual problems, and prescribe and dispense spectacles or contact lenses. They were known as ophthalmic opticians.

World's Oldest Valentine Card

The Royal Mail has revealed images of what is thought to be the world's most expensive Valentine's day card.   Dating back to 1790, the intricately designed Valentine filled with heartfelt messaging would fetch up to £4,000 if auctioned today. It is currently housed at the British Postal Museum and Archive - and they have no plans of selling the card. The card is a handmade puzzle which unfolds to reveal poetic messages - a far cry from the short notes written in today's Valentine's cards.

On the outside of the card, the inscription reads:
"My dear the Heart which you behold,
Will break when you the same unfold,
Even so my heart with lovesick pain,
Sure wounded is and breaks in twain."

Patrick O'Neill, from Royal Mail, commented, "This year Royal Mail will be delivering over 12 million Valentine's cards but probably none as romantic as the verse written inside here. Although the Valentine card is a valuable piece - we would never dream of selling it as can you really put a price on true love?"

Tesco Reject Funny Valentine Card

From the sublime (above) to the ridiculous (right).  Just to complete the effect I left the naff chipboard background on the Tesco 'value' Valentine Card.

Tesco Reject

Way back when Will and Guy were teachers, circa 1978, Tesco's quality control went through a bad patch.  As ever, children are the first to invent a new insults.  When our pupils' friends or should I say, their enemies had a nice new present, they would label it a 'Tesco reject'. 

Pupil A : Hey look at my flashy new iPod
Pupil B:  Not bad for a Tesco reject.

Not being good enough for Tesco was the ultimate insult back in 1970's, interestingly, Tesco have turned their image and now they are perceived as the best for value.  However, the above funny Valentine's day card reminds us of that era.

The Perfect St Valentine's Day Card

Aidan, a young man, was looking for a greeting card just before February 14th. He searching unhurriedly for just the right card and he found one that impressed him greatly.  It read, 'To my one true love, the most beautiful woman in all the world.'

'This is truly heartfelt,' Aidan commented to the shopkeeper. 'It is the message that any woman would love to receive. ... I'll take five.'

Incidentally, salesmen say that Valentine's Day cards are second only to Christmas cards, moreover 1 billion cards are bought every year, 80% by women.  

Snippets for Valentine's Day

How to stop people from bugging you about getting married

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'you're next.'  They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

 Happiness in Marriage

To be happy with your husband, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a wife, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

My Funny Valentine

My funny Valentine
Sweet comic Valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable, unphotographable
Yet you’re my favourite work of art

Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak, are you smart?

But don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little Valentine, stay
Each day is Valentine's Day

Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak, are you smart?

But don’t change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little Valentine, stay
Each day is Valentine's Day

By Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart

Footnote:
Please send us your Valentine card quotes and pictures of funny Valentine cards.

See more St Valentine's Day jokes, funny stories, poems, sayings and pictures

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