Collection of Valentine's Day Cards

Will and Guy's Collection of Valentine's Day Cards

Old, new, funny and beautiful, here is our selection of Valentine Cards

• World's Oldest Valentine Card
• The Perfect Valentine's Day Card
• Quotes for Your Valentine's Day Cards
• Tesco Reject Funny Valentine Card
• Snippets for Valentine's Day
• Valentine in the Snow

1) World's Oldest Valentine Card

The Royal Mail has revealed images of what is thought to be the world's most expensive Valentine's day card.   Dating back to 1790, the intricately designed Valentine filled with heartfelt messaging would fetch up to £4,000 if auctioned today. It is currently housed at the British Postal Museum and Archive - and they have no plans of selling the card. The card is a handmade puzzle which unfolds to reveal poetic messages - a far cry from the short notes written in today's Valentine's cards.

On the outside of the card, the inscription reads:
"My dear the Heart which you behold,
Will break when you the same unfold,
Even so my heart with lovesick pain,
Sure wounded is and breaks in twain."

Patrick O'Neill, from Royal Mail, commented, "This year Royal Mail will be delivering over 12 million Valentine's cards but probably none as romantic as the verse written inside here. Although the Valentine card is a valuable piece - we would never dream of selling it as can you really put a price on true love?"

2) The Perfect St Valentine's Day Card

Aidan, a young man, was looking for a greeting card sometime before St Valentine's Day. He searching unhurriedly for just the right card and he found one that impressed him greatly.  It read, 'To my one true love, the most beautiful woman in all the world.'

'This is truly heartfelt,' Aidan commented to the shopkeeper. 'It is the message that any woman would love to receive. ... I'll take five.'

Incidentally, salesmen say that Valentine's Day cards are second only to Christmas cards, moreover 1 billion cards are bought every year, 80% by women.  

3) Quotes for Your Valentine's Day Cards

Will and Guy invite visitors who our site to use one of these quotations in the Valentine card they send this year:

• Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius. Mozart
• Love is indescribable and unconditional. I could tell you a thousand things that it is not, but not one that it is. Duke Ellington
• To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others. Francois Mauriac
• Love is not blind, it simply enables one to see things others fail to see. Anonymous
• 'I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.'  Rita Rudner
• Never close your lips to those whom you have opened your heart.  Charles Dickens
• Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. Robert Frost

4) Tesco Reject Funny Valentine Card
(From the sublime (above) to the ridiculous (right)

Just to complete the effect I left the naff chipboard background to the Tesco 'value' Valentine Card.

Tesco Reject

Way back when Will and Guy were teachers, circa 1978, Tesco's quality control went through a bad patch.  As ever, children are the first to invent a new insults.  When our pupils' friends or should I say, their enemies had a nice new present, they would label it a 'Tesco reject'. 

Pupil A : Hey look at my flashy new iPod
Pupil B:  Not bad for a Tesco reject.

Not being good enough for Tesco was the ultimate insult back in 1970's, interestingly, Tesco have turned their image and now they are perceived as the best for value.  However, the above funny Valentine's day card reminds us of that era.

Snippets for Valentine's Day

5) How to stop people from bugging you about getting married

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'you're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

6) Happiness in Marriage

To be happy with your husband, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a wife, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

7) Valentine Tracks in the Slush

Even better, a Valentine in the Snow

Then take her inside for a coffee cup

Upmarket versions of valentine coffee, with a china cup and an inscription.

P.S. Please send us your pictures of funny Valentine's Day cards.

See more St Valentine's Day jokes and funny pictures

♥ Valentine's Day   ♥ Valentine card    ♥ Valentine jokes   ♥ History   ♥ Love   ♥ Animal kingdom

♥ Love quotes   ♥ Romantic  poems   ♥ Locations   ♥ Chocolate   ♥ Cynics   ♥ Dog biscuits   ♥ Home

Joke of the day Get a clean joke delivered to your inbox every day, no strings attached, just part of our free service.  Subscribe to Will and Guy's Joke of the Day. We have over 1,000 pages of funny pictures, clean jokes, funny stories and amusing videos.  Please use the Search box below to find a topic of particular interest:	Jokes for mobile phones / cell phones Will and Guy now have clean jokes and funny pictures formatted for 'mobi' or cell phones.  Discover more about our 'mobi' sub-site If you enter the following uri into your mobile or cell phone, then you can view Will and Guy's site on your handset:  http://guy-sports.com/mobi/
Web Search this site for jokes Email Guy and send your joke or funny picture to:   ● Home   ● Latest Pages