Love is a game that two can play and both win. Eva Gabor
Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.
Jerome K. Jerome
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my
soul can reach. Elizabeth Barrett Browning
'Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman, but
luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.'
Anon
For twas not into my ear you whispered But into my heart
Twas not my lips you kissed But my soul. Judy Garland
Love is the heart of the soul. Robert Paul
A hundred hearts would be too few To carry all my love
for you. Anon
My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I
told her to rub her eyes. EmoPhilips
I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent
Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on
my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.
Anon
For each February 14th The Washington Post newspaper holds a Valentine's Day competition asking
for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but.... The least romantic
second line. Will and Guy bring you their ditties:
Valentine's Sayings which involve Humour and Lies I thought that
I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your
face.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot This describes everything you
are not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag
off of your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes Damn, I'm good at
telling lies!
I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up
screaming.
My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to
smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell Except for maybe 'Go To
Hell'.
What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part
lime ...
There was a young lady named Constance, From boys she wouldn't
stand any nonsense. If her partners grew deft She would lead with her
left; The results would not weigh on her conscience.
2) The Old Man of Lyme
There once was an old man of Lyme Who married three wives at a time
When asked, 'Why a third?' He replied, 'One's absurd! And bigamy, Sir,
is a crime.'
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
Before
marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A
successful woman is one who can find such a man
A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
And the father replied, 'I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.'
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, 'If it weren't
for my money, the house wouldn't
be here!'
The wife replied, 'My dear, if it weren't
for your money, I wouldn't be here.'
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