Unless you saw these funny safety pictures, you would not believe what people do at work. Even with the pictures, you may think some were faked, but Will and Guy cannot see the joins!
Two
workmen were digging foundations when one of them started shouting and
jumping about. The other one thought his partner had hit an underground
power cable and was being electrocuted so following good health and safety
practice used a shovel to separate him from the electricity.
Luckily for the
first worker he wasn't getting an electric shock but was panicking after a
wasp had flown up his trousers. Fortunately he didn't get stung, but the second
worker hit him so hard with the shovel that his shoulder was dislocated.
Will and Guy's Selection of funny health and safety tales at the
workplace.
Safety is a major concern at the manufacturing company
where I work. So I'm constantly preaching caution to the workers I
supervise. 'Does anyone know,' I asked a few guys, 'what the speed
limit is in our parking lot?'
The long silence that followed
was interrupted when one of them piped up. 'That depends. Do you
mean coming to work or leaving?'
A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in Boston,
Massachusetts, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen
pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of
whiplash injuries and back pain.
Safety Managers: persons who write a 10,000 word document
and call it a brief - Franz Kafka
What do you get if you put 100 Safety Managers in your
basement? - A whine cellar.
Below is an interesting oxymoron. Humorous safety signs
really do work.
A police protection officer was visiting a primary school in
a particularly rough area of Manchester, England.
'Why
shouldn't you touch the oven door or the kettle?' he asked the
assembled class.
A young girls hand shot into the air.
'Because you might leave fingerprints,' she answered.
A crowd gathered around at a woodworking trade show held
at Fort Purbrook, Portsmouth and were watching a sales
demonstration.
The demonstrator had an ordinary saw next to
another which had a saw stopping safety device. He showed how each
might work when it hit an operator's finger.
For simulation
purposes he used a sausage as a substitute. Intrigued, a curious
spectator stepped up for a closer look and was struck in the eye by
a flying piece of debris.
A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the
use of safety goggles on the job. According to the Health and Safety Council News, the film's
depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in
their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.
Christopher was sprawled across three entire seats in a theatre. When the
usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, 'Sorry sir, but
you're only allowed one seat.'
Christopher groaned but didn't budge one inch. The usher became
impatient. 'Sir,' the usher announced, 'If you don't get up from there, I'm
going to have to call the manager.'
Again, Christopher just groaned which, in turn, infuriated the usher who
spun on his heel and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his
manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood
over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but
with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the
situation briefly.
All right, mate. What's your name?' 'Chris,' the man moaned, in
considerable agony.
'And where you from, Chris?' the cop barked. 'The balcony.'
New Health and Seek Game
Footnote: Please send us your funny safety pictures.
Pictures, such as the above, of people on trains has caused the Indian
government to try and ban this unsafe practice, and reduce deaths which run
at about 10 per day due to people falling off the roofs of trains.
Joking aside... If you have suffered an
accident at work then help may be at hand
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