These days men are downtrodden. Their familiar stamping ground is being eroded. At last men are fighting back in the battle of the genders. Here is their say.
Shopping
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we men are never going to think of it that way.
Confusion
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done Not both If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
Solutions not Sympathy
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Color Vision
ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
Δ
Rules for Boys and Girls
We always hear 'The rules' from the female side. Now here are
the rules from the male side. For example, Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work!
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass
this to as many women as you can - to give them an education!
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new
Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their
accounts.
After months of careful research, Male and Female procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.
Procedure for Men
Drive up to the ATM (cash machine).
Wind down
your car window.
Insert card into ATM and enter PIN.
Enter amount of cash required and take the notes.
Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
Wind-up window.
Drive off.
Procedure for Women:
♪
Drive up to cash machine.
Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
ATM.
Set parking brake, put the
window down. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat,
finally locate the card.
Tell girl friend on mobile phone that you will call her back and hang up. Attempt to insert card into machine.
Open car
door to allow easier access to machine due to its distance from the car. Insert
debit card.
Re-insert card the right way.
Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the address page.
Enter PIN.
Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
Enter amount of cash required.
Take a quick peek at yourself in rear view mirror.
Retrieve notes and receipt
Empty
handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook.
Re-check makeup.
Drive forward 2 feet.
Reverse back to
cash machine.
Retrieve card.
Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you
Restart stalled engine and
pull off.
Redial person on cell phone.
Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
Release Parking Brake.
Footnote Please send us your men and women jokes.
How to Create a Funny PowerPoint Presentation
Making presentations in PowerPoint is satisfying, moreover, it's easy to get
started.
The PowerPoint program is intuitive to learn and easy to create your own PPT
slides and build them into a slide show. If you have
Microsoft Office you may find that you already have PowerPoint along with Word
and Excel.
One way to begin is simply to open any example presentation. Just
download one of our free PPT files and open it with PowerPoint. As you
examine the slides, so it will become obvious how to add pictures and titles, if
you do get stuck, ask the wonderful built-in 'Help'. To make a funny slide show requires these skills;
Imagination - Think of an funny idea, then build a themed slide set
Artistic - An eye for a good picture
Wordsmith - Choose a catchy title for each slide
Humour - Your viewers will appreciate a funny PowerPoint Presentation
PowerPoint mechanics - Actually, this is the easiest skill of them all, the
program is so intuitive.
Good luck with creating your funny PowerPoint Presentation
Will and Guy
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