Jack, decidedly overweight, and not at all bright, asks Doctor Mayo at
Portchester Health Centre, for help in losing weight. The doctor advises
Jack to run 10 miles a day for 30 days. This, she promises, will help
Jack lose as much as twenty pounds in a month.
Jack, naturally very excited, follows Doctor Mayo's advice to the letter,
and, after thirty days, he is delighted to find that he has, indeed, lost
twenty pounds.
Delighted, Jack 'phones Doctor Mayo and thanks her profusely for the
wonderful advice which had produced such a tremendous result.
At the end of the conversation, however, he asks one last question, 'How
do I get home now, Doctor, since I am some 300 miles away?'
Will's therapist told him that the way to achieve true inner peace was to remember to always finish what he started. So today, Will has finished 2 bags of potato crisps, a gallon of ice-cream, two buckets of chicken, and a chocolate cake. He feels much better already.
Some Thought Provoking Quotes: Funny Diet Quotes
Oh! that this too solid flesh would melt. William Shakespeare
Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening. Alexander Woollcott
Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a
90 ft Redwood. Erma Bombeck
All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast. John Gunther
Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.
Voltaire
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. Fran Lebowitz
We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink.
Epicurus
The more you eat, the less
flavour; the less you eat, the more flavour. Chinese Proverb
Avoid fruit and nuts. You are what you eat. Jim Davis
Fish, to taste right, must swim three times - in water, in butter, and in wine.
Polish
Proverb
Footnote: Please send us your funny workout or funny
diet quotes
Needing to shed a few pounds, Robert, and his wife Jennifer, went on a diet that had specific recipes for each meal of the day. They followed the instructions extremely closely, dividing
the finished recipe in half for their individual portions. Robert and Jennifer felt terrific and thought the diet was wonderful; they had never felt better, nor did they ever feel hungry.
As time
progressed, Robert and Jennifer realized that they were, in fact, putting on weight and not losing it. They decided that they ought to check the detail of the recipes just one more time. It was then that they
found their error.
There, in small print, Robert and Jennifer saw, to their horror: 'Serves 6'.
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